Unequal grandparent gifts

[JustAMinutePleass]

I have an only child. My siblings have 2-3 kids a piece. Just found out my parents set a £30 budget for my child’s present and bought £300 pianos as a ‘shared gift’ for each set of gc for each sibling. I asked why my son didn’t also get a piano (or even a larger budget equal to a proportion of the others) when he’s the only one of their 6 gc actually learning the piano and was told I was ungrateful.

I’m so, so pissed off. Bear in mind I’m hosting christmas as I’ve done for years. Aibu to kick them all out and call it a day?

I've never understood why one family should be cornered into hosting Christmas EVERY year. I hope you make it clear - perhaps just before everyone leaves today - that it's time others bore the expense and effort.

But surely your child already has a piano? Not much point him having piano lessons if he hasn't

OP please ignore the responses such as 'your DC should be grateful for what they get' etc, it's shitty behaviour from your relatives no matter what others say. The ungrateful comment from them is nothing but a deflection tactic too.

If I were you I'd call time on the hosting from next year, shower of tight bastards can sort their own Christmas dinners out from now on. Hope your DC has a lovely Christmas otherwise.

My nana always always treated her 3 grandchildren including one she didn’t see much due to distance, exactly the same with money or presents at Christmas or otherwise.

That’s what grandparents should do. I’d consider going LC over this and tell them why.

And no hosting at yours next year. Using shits.

I would kick them out 100%. Sorry guys but I’m fed up of being tested differently to everyone else and I’ve had enough. Pack up your stuff and go please.

I don’t agree he should get more as you’re hosting but is be furious it’s not equal.

Do you read?

Wtf. You really have to wonder what goes on in some people's minds for them to behave this way towards others, never mind family

Unless your child is actually looking forward to everyone being there today then I'd just cancel. Or at least cancel your parents and let your siblings make their own minds up.
I'm sure your could have a nice day with your Husband and Son.

The only reasonable explanation I can think is there is a significant age difference in the GC? Maybe the older ones had a £30 budget when they were 4? Maybe the other GC get loads of toys from their parents and not things like instruments which you prioritise? But I hate unequal gifting so I can see why you are put out.

Reminds me of the year my cousin got a pony which they would even be keeping on their farm and presumably paying for care and feeding. I got a framed menu from a trip my grandmother went on to France.

I was about ten. Every year she got more than me; but never this obvious. I kind of thought it was funny at that point. Mom didn’t talk about it with me at all, just pretended everything was normal. I think that was for the best.

Definitely don't host them next year. I'm not surprised you're angry if they do this regularly.

Are the other DGC older?

My parents tended to give presents according to need at the time: a guitar for the one starting lessons, new computer for secondary school etc, and more usual cheaper presents at other times. And it all evened out over time because they all got big presents when they needed or wanted them.

But obviously there are reasons you feel hurt by this OP, and it chimes with lifelong treatment. That’s sad and worth thinking about over the coming year.

Makes absolutely no difference. All of the gc should be treated the same. It's disgusting in all honesty.

@JustAMinutePleass I'd get today over and done with but resolve never to host again. Why should you have to do it every year anyway?

Did you not read the OP?

OP - hosting doesn't mean your child deserves more. You have that wrong.

However all kids should be receiving presents with somewhat of an equal value. I think it's unfair if they don't.

That is so beside the point!!

No, but contributions towards the cost/effort of hosting should be forthcoming!

Was that part adults gift as well for the £300? Did you get a large gift so that yours and DC’s gift equals the £300. I’m clutching at straws but I’m guessing not.
Its awful to treat GC so unequally.

It's not. If a child is having piano lessons then they should have a piano at home to practise on. Obviously the grandparents assumed he already had a piano. It sounds like he hasn't got one though as OP asked them why they didn't get him one too...which is bonkers

Kick them out.
This is intentional. Don't be the sap that puts up with this crap and smiles and makes them all Christmas dinner.

Say you have Covid, ever so sorry, no one can come round today. Then make lunch for your kid and have a great Christmas without the ingrates.

Well if you think you were the scapegoat, then that could be it. But why are you perpetuating it by always hosting Christmas? Why do you expect things to be different now from what they've always been (I assume?).

FWIW what is the point if a piano unless any of the other kids are interested in learning to play? £300 expenditure is pointless if your sibling's families don't want one.

In our family we do have rough budgets but the idea of paying the same amount for each GC is ridiculous. The important thing is to get each child a present THEY would like. Do 3 kids appreciate sharing a piano??

Next year have Christmas on your terms. For now, don't break the party up as some people will suffer collateral damage.

How much was spent on the other dc when they were 4?

Kicking them out today would damage your relationship. You don't have to host next year.

Is it too late to hack the Christmas cake into a piano shape? I expect you have to endure them this year but never again. I assume everyone contributes to the festivities with bubbly etc, if not it’s even worse!

I don't understand why your DS would need a piano. If he is learning to play it, he presumably already has an instrument? 🤔

Is it possible that the gifts are age related? So when the other grandchildren were 4, they also had a £30 budget? And as your child gets older, they’ll also receive gifts equal to what the other grandchildren got at those ages?

I’m the oldest in my family and the value of gifts were always age related but it all evened out with everyone getting the same in the end as we grew up.