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AIBU?

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Original poster

Unequal grandparent gifts

278 replies

JustAMinutePleass · 25/12/2023 10:51

I have an only child. My siblings have 2-3 kids a piece. Just found out my parents set a £30 budget for my child’s present and bought £300 pianos as a ‘shared gift’ for each set of gc for each sibling. I asked why my son didn’t also get a piano (or even a larger budget equal to a proportion of the others) when he’s the only one of their 6 gc actually learning the piano and was told I was ungrateful.

I’m so, so pissed off. Bear in mind I’m hosting christmas as I’ve done for years. Aibu to kick them all out and call it a day?

OP posts:
Nanaof1 · 31/12/2023 05:56

lostonmars · 31/12/2023 05:17

Is that not what the OP is saying?

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No, what the OP meant, as most understood it and she clarified, is that she thinks the DGC, including her son, should get equal treatment when it comes to gifts. Instead, even though she hosted, her siblings DC got not only a piano but a few other gifts from the OP's NVNP and her DC got one gift, worth 30 pounds.

He is four right now but in time, like everyone who has GP's like the OP's DC has and are on the losing end, he will realize it and it will hurt him deeply. Being treated as a lesser by people who are supposed to love you and cherish you, breaks your soul.

SkyBlueCloudyLakes · 31/12/2023 06:33

Did your almost 4 year old like his £30 present? If he did I don't rly see the problem here...I mean as long as the gift was wanted the value is secondary.
I've never been calculating prices for children's presents, they don't care, as long as they get presents they like. Didn't realise so many people do... Christmas gift is not about the monetary value, but happiness it gives.

Messyhair321 · 02/01/2024 18:11

Drfosters · 29/12/2023 10:51

In principle The children did have equal amounts spent on them but because there were more children in one family they had a bigger budget and so the grandparents bought a piano with that larger budget rather than giving the children the cash individually. But that means those children all have the same utility of the piano. The OP’s son can’t have a part share of the piano and so has no piano at all. It would be the same as if the kids in a larger family all clubbed together and bought themselves a games console they all could use because they had a greater total per family. The smaller family could never club together enough to buy it so they would always know granny bought the other family a games console but not them.

there is no right or wrong on this and I understand both sides but i just believe that grandchildren are not a collective group as siblings are and they should be treated as separate families for equality purposes.

Show quote history

That's not treating children equally at all I think you're way off. Children aren't stupid they know.
Fwiw I don't think you do "understand both sides" what you've suggested is a lot of waffle & clearly you have never been in the position OP & their children are in

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