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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To casually mention to my neighbour about his coughing

242 replies

Coughing79 · 24/12/2023 21:33

A new neighbour has recently moved into the flat below me. He's about 35. I've noticed that he literally coughs every few mins and unfortunately I can hear it. I was hoping it would be a cold or flu thing he has and that it would eventually stop but it's been like this for a couple weeks.
I will be reading quietly in my bedroom and all of a sudden get startled by his coughing. I'm finding it really triggering and it's irritating me .
It's a really awkward one as coughing is involuntary but that doesn't make it any less annoying for me.
I can't move as I have another year left on my lease. I've bought noise cancelling ear plugs from Amazon.
Would it be really bad if next time I get talking to him ,I asked if he is ok, as I notice he has been coughing quite a lot? Hoping that this will maybe make him try and be a bit quieter or something.
Or do I just learn to live with this.

OP posts:
ejhug · 24/12/2023 21:35

You could ask him in a concerned way but I'd pretend it didn't bother you, as that may be his initial worry and immediate response.

FionnulaTheCooler · 24/12/2023 21:35

Maybe he's asthmatic? You would be unreasonable to bring it up, he's not doing it to annoy you and it's not antisocial behaviour like blaring loud music so you'll just have to deal with it.

ButterflyBitch · 24/12/2023 21:37

My son has had a cough going on for 4 weeks now and my husband has been coughing 24/7 for about two weeks. I’m ill though not coughing as much. There are some nasty bugs going round. Yes it’s irritating, even I’m getting annoyed with the constant coughing bit it can’t be helped.

Original poster
Coughing79 · 24/12/2023 21:39

@ButterflyBitch I am hoping it is a bug. I could cope with it if I knew it was temporary

OP posts:
TigerRag · 24/12/2023 21:39

What are you expecting him to actually do?

Sodapop1 · 24/12/2023 21:40

My DH has had a cough for about 4 weeks now after he got a flu type virus, I’m sure it will stop eventually. It’s irritating for me but even more irritating for him! I think YABU to say anything after a couple of weeks.

CyberCritical · 24/12/2023 21:40

TigerRag · 24/12/2023 21:39

What are you expecting him to actually do?

Exactly, how will telling him he has a cough and that you can hear it, change anything? I'm sure if he could stop it he would.

Notts90 · 24/12/2023 21:40

Pointless. YABU. Coughing is a reflex.

Original poster
Coughing79 · 24/12/2023 21:41

@TigerRag honestly? Maybe be a bit more aware that someone lives above him and try and be a bit quieter when he coughs if that's possible.

OP posts:
Baircasolly · 24/12/2023 21:42

You'd be ridiculously unreasonable to expect someone to stop coughing in their own house because it's bugging you.

That said, my own husband coughing incessantly in his (my) own house is driving me up the bloody wall! I swear there's no need to essentially yell whilst coughing??

Ohdearohdearohdea · 24/12/2023 21:42

If you put a cut onion in your sock overnight it will stop the cough!

Littleguggi · 24/12/2023 21:43

It could be a form of tourettes/ vocal tics

purpleme12 · 24/12/2023 21:43

You say he's had it for a couple of weeks.
And yet it reads like you've come to the conclusion it can't be just a bug.
In my experience unfortunately coughs can take a few weeks to go. But it doesn't mean it's not a 'normal' cough that'll go.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 24/12/2023 21:43

He does not cough for his own amusement.

Original poster
Coughing79 · 24/12/2023 21:44

@Sodapop1 yes I'm really hoping he has a nasty bug that he has as the cough is literally every few minutes. However what if it isn't and he's still coughing in March. Would it be still unreasonable to mention it to him in a few months?

OP posts:
herewegoroundtheblueberrybush · 24/12/2023 21:44

It's probably just a cough. I've been coughing for about three weeks with no sign of it going. I had the same thing happen last winter it lasted about 6 weeks. I would give it another 2 months and if it's no better then consider mentioning it. It's impossible not to cough if you need to cough.

happyinherts · 24/12/2023 21:45

I had a cough for 3 months last winter. It was dreadful at night. My neighbour mentioned it, and I was so, so upset. Incredibly rude.

CyberCritical · 24/12/2023 21:45

Coughing79 · 24/12/2023 21:44

@Sodapop1 yes I'm really hoping he has a nasty bug that he has as the cough is literally every few minutes. However what if it isn't and he's still coughing in March. Would it be still unreasonable to mention it to him in a few months?

Again, what are you expecting him to do about it if you do mention it?

Original poster
Coughing79 · 24/12/2023 21:46

@CyberCritical I already mentioned on one of the above posts what I would like him to try and do about it

OP posts:
Sodapop1 · 24/12/2023 21:46

Agree what do you expect him to do about it! You can’t ask someone to cough quieter. In this scenario I think it’s you that would have to move if it bothered you that much

FloofCloud · 24/12/2023 21:46

It might be a tic - my DS has a coughing tic. DD has Tourette syndrome ... it may be complex and a bit shite to grumble ... so be nice

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 24/12/2023 21:47

This reminds me of our headteacher telling children to stop coughing in assembly - set the whole school off! The staff cracked up laughing. Anyway, your neighbour can't help coughing so no point in saying anything to him.

Neitheronethingnortheother · 24/12/2023 21:47

TheYearOfSmallThings · 24/12/2023 21:43

He does not cough for his own amusement.

😂😂

scoutingfor · 24/12/2023 21:47

What would be the point in asking him about it? You are bothered by the noise of it but he can't stop coughing Confused

Notsurehwhattdo · 24/12/2023 21:48

Oh god that sounds annoying. Maybe it's a tick or something.

Maybe you could mention it and suggest he could cough into a piece of foam or something (bring the foam with you) 🤣