To casually mention to my neighbour about his coughing

[Coughing79]

A new neighbour has recently moved into the flat below me. He's about 35. I've noticed that he literally coughs every few mins and unfortunately I can hear it. I was hoping it would be a cold or flu thing he has and that it would eventually stop but it's been like this for a couple weeks.
I will be reading quietly in my bedroom and all of a sudden get startled by his coughing. I'm finding it really triggering and it's irritating me .
It's a really awkward one as coughing is involuntary but that doesn't make it any less annoying for me.
I can't move as I have another year left on my lease. I've bought noise cancelling ear plugs from Amazon.
Would it be really bad if next time I get talking to him ,I asked if he is ok, as I notice he has been coughing quite a lot? Hoping that this will maybe make him try and be a bit quieter or something.
Or do I just learn to live with this.

What the fuck does it trigger?

Well I don't know what to say then, you sound just delightful. He's not coughing for fun, and as I said if you need to do a big cough you can't stop it.

Maybe be glad it's not you coughing every few minutes?

Seriously if you're this intolerant maybe living in a flat isn't a good idea, have you considered a tent in a remote part of the countryside? You might get some peace, although maybe the sound of your tent flapping in the wind would be too triggering 😂

I really rate contrelle active guard bladder support if you haven't tried them for weeing when coughing

Unfortunately chronic coughing wrecks your pelvic floor but I find these really helpful when my coughing is bad

When did they start calling it the 100 day cough? I had to look it up, it's whooping cough!

Maybe he doesn't have a cough at all but is covering up his farting which would be far worse a thing to hear

m.youtube.com/watch?v=LBx4Kak9TDc&pp=ygUNQ291Z2hpbmcgc29uZw%3D%3D

Yabu. As annoying as it is and it would annoy me, I am not really sure what you are expecting him to do about it.

Ok well I'm not going to say anything to him then and just pray that it stops. I wasn't planning to ask him to stop coughing, I was just going to bring it up in casual conversation and ask if he was ok as I've noticed him coughing

My son coughs all the time. He always has. It's annoying. More than annoying really. But he can't help it. It's some kind of vocal tic/ anxiety thing. He'd be so upset if a neighbour mentioned it and it would probably make it worse.

What emotions does it trigger?

Were you sexually abused by someone who coughed a lot?
Did you have a grandparent die of lung cancer?

Fyi I've lived here for almost 3 years and never had a problem with the noise of neighbors, I also lived in a semi detached house and was fine with neighbour's noise. There's something about his coughing that is very grating on me

@AnotherAdventFridge I'm triggered simply because it's a horrible nasty sound , well his cough is, I'm not saying all coughs are like that

@Coughing79 I had a cough from September last year until March of this year. It was horrendous, my ribs were sore and my migraines were triggered from coughing. It was miserable, I was unable to sleep at night and even my neighbour (we're friends) was bringing me remedies as conventional medicine did not work. I had investigations under respiratory consultant because regular inhalers did not work. Ended up being diagnosed as asthmatic. I'm not sure what your neighbors is gaining from coughing and in their case I don't know what you want me to do. Not like I'm coughing for jollies. Please spare a thought for your neighbor.

I can never decide which bit I like the most. The coughing until I vomit, the fear of not being able to breathe, or the involuntary death rattle noise I make? Tricky. It is as OP says somewhat 'offputting'.
I appreciate that none of those noises are pleasant to hear. I can assure you that the experience is a lot worse.

My friend coughs all the time as she has lung disease. She can't stop it.

I'm autistic and a tic I have had my whole life is throat clearing. It's not uncommon in people with autism.

I probably do it about 30 times a day.

What did they expect you to do? Some people are beyond ridiculous. Glad you are better.

p.s it's really awful when people draw attention to things you're already self conscious about.

You: hello neighbour
Neighbour: hello
You: that's a nasty cough you have
Neighbour: would you like me to stop?
You: that would be marvellous
Neighbour: my pleasure
You: super

This thread has got to be a wind up? Xmas eve and all that?

If not, OP he may have chronic cough, like I have, decades of coughing.

👌

Yes I vote 'wind up', because of the triggering.

@bellac11 wish it was a wind up, but it's not

Thank you@VladimirVsVolodymyr So, so grateful for better health this year. I did have antibiotics last January - couldn't access them earlier - and slowly, but surely I improved. That cough was awful, just like choking and trying to breathe, especially at night. I've never smoked in my life. It was a winter type bug, which any of us could feasibly get. It's only because of my experience with this, that I can't believe how rude and entitled the OP is being here. I would have given anything to have been able to breathe! Coughing into something when trying to gain air just isn't an option! Thanks for your understanding!

If you live above him, I can absolutely assure you he will be hearing far more noise from you, than you will be from him.

I had my upstairs neighbour mention my coughing of a night time. I am asthmatic and my asthma is worse at night. I religiously take my meds but the doctors and I are trying to manage it better. I don't cough all night, usually just as falling asleep and waking up, but I do have a couple episodes in the night too.

That being said, I also hear them hacking up of a night, usually after smoking weed. Mine are more frequent (and as such, I'm sure much more annoying) short coughs, but sounds far less gross.

I also hear their dog barking at 7am. I also hear them shagging. Talking very loudly on the phone at a rapid rate and for ages, at 11pm when I'm trying to sleep. I hear them stomp off to the bathroom in the middle of the night - I hear it because they wake me up in the process.

You're absolutely being unreasonable to even consider mentioning anything. As annoying as it is, he can't do anything about it, and it's probably making him super uncomfortable (I know my coughing does - it annoys me!!). Put some gentle music on if music doesn't bother you. It's what I do when I get fed up of the incessant loud chattering away from upstairs of a night. Or when their dogs doing my tits in.

Bare in mind, if you dare mention anything about the involuntary coughing, he's probably going to come back with all the noises he can hear from you that annoy him. And don't even bother saying you don't make any noise - if you live above someone, they hear you. They can probably hear you when you fart, if you can hear him cough, to be fair. Noise travels worse into properties below, than it does above. So be prepared to hear some truths you may not like. You'd absolutely deserve it as well if you mentioned anything.

Oh, and don't feign concern just so you can bring it up. You're not being as clever and subtle as you think you are, and he'll be right onto it. Being 'concerned' for someone coughing, and even mentioning it, is weird as fuck.

OP have you tried playing white noise though a speaker?
You can't control your neighbour's cough but you can try and lessen its effect on you - white noise is excellent for blocking out unwanted noise.