To casually mention to my neighbour about his coughing

[Coughing79]

A new neighbour has recently moved into the flat below me. He's about 35. I've noticed that he literally coughs every few mins and unfortunately I can hear it. I was hoping it would be a cold or flu thing he has and that it would eventually stop but it's been like this for a couple weeks.
I will be reading quietly in my bedroom and all of a sudden get startled by his coughing. I'm finding it really triggering and it's irritating me .
It's a really awkward one as coughing is involuntary but that doesn't make it any less annoying for me.
I can't move as I have another year left on my lease. I've bought noise cancelling ear plugs from Amazon.
Would it be really bad if next time I get talking to him ,I asked if he is ok, as I notice he has been coughing quite a lot? Hoping that this will maybe make him try and be a bit quieter or something.
Or do I just learn to live with this.

@scoutingfor I bought them today, they haven't arrived yet. Hoping they will help

Having to constantly listen to your neighbour is annoying. Could you hear the people who lived there before him?

Congratulations, this is absolutely the most ridiculous thread I've read this year.

Bravo.

This is like getting blood from a stone.

Pissing you off is not a trigger. You say its triggering. You need to explain what its triggering in you. Pissed off is not the answer.

I'm pissed off with fucking life, my current Christmas and my mil coming tomorrow. None of it is triggering my PTSD, my anxiety, my asthma.

You get it?

@IwishIdidntlikesugar yes I could hear them and I was fine with it. For some reason, his way of coughing is vey irritating to me

@Winnading no, I don't get it. It is triggering anger in me , is that enough for you?

My neighbour coughs multiple times a minute snd has for years now. Weird as she never does it when talking to me. We don't sit in the back garden because of it and don't have the kids bedroom window open. But can't hear it inside thank god. She's either got a tic or nasal drip.

I hope its not the same for you.

I don't see how saying something to him about it is going to make him stop coughing! And a couple of weeks is nothing when it comes to coughs. Whenever I get a cough (thankfully not very often) it usually lasts at least 3 weeks, sometimes 4. I once had one years ago that lasted 9 bastarding weeks.

@Winnading I know myself enough to know if something is triggering a strong feeling or reaction in me , it's not for anyone else to tell me that I'm not being triggered.

OP, you can't tell someone what to do in their own home. Telling someone to stop coughing is ridiculous. You'll just have to deal with it.

OP I’ll explain.”triggering” means when something takes you back to an unpleasant incident in your past .Coughing isn’t triggering.

So you have an anger problem.

How do you think you could solve this anger problem?

Have you considered coughing?

Me, me, me, me, me.... Yes, you are the one with the problem here. It's called selfish.

Sounds like you’d benefit from therapeutic intervention.

@AnotherAdventFridge I definitely don't have an anger problem. But his coughing makes me angry , yes because it's constant and it's a bodily function which I don't want to hear. Music or TV sound or the sound of kids etc doesn't anger me.

Hate to tell you but I've had the same harsh barking cough for 3 years now and we don't know what causes it. Worse at night too. I try to cough into my pillow but that only makes it worse. I'd rather be the person being annoyed about the cough rather than having it. Don't say anything please.

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt/overview/#:~:text=You%20can%20get%20talking%20therapies,a%20referral%20from%20a%20GP.&text=Or%20your%20GP%20can%20refer%20you%20if%20you%20prefer.

I really sympathise with you OP.
Does he have a fire/ wood burning stove with a chimney that needs cleaning? Maybe the whole house needs a good clean. Not sure how you’d be able to talk to him about it though.
Hopefully you can find a way to handle it though otherwise you’ll go mad and he’ll end up with a hernia.

Ok I think because it's a bodily function and it's a harsh sound, that's why I hate it

Soundproofly in British flats is appalling. I live in a flat in Mexico City and don't hear my neighbours unless someone is having a party. I have never heard coughing

Thank you Mr. Bennett.

You’re not triggered ffs 🤦‍♀️

If I have a really bad cough it triggers my DH because he remembers the time I had bacterial pneumonia, I was coughing up so much fluid I could barely get oxygen in, having asthma attacks but my inhaler wasn't controlling them and he had to rush me to hospital thinking I was going to die on the way because there were no ambulances available

that's being triggered by coughing, sudden sever anxiety that your wife is going to die because it came pretty damn close to happening

I'm trying to feel sorry for you being "triggered" to feel angry but its just not happening.

Yabu

Sorry, thank you Kitty.