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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have cancelled?

272 replies

Madwife123 · 24/12/2023 12:57

We invite DSIL and family for Christmas every year. They arrive Christmas Eve morning and stay until Boxing Day as they travel 3 hours to us.

We both have children, similar age and it works well for us as we have the bigger house to put them up and they enjoy not having the cooking etc.

Anyway, they arrived this morning as planned but nearly 2 hours late. Apologised for being late and explained they had to keep pulling over as nephew has a vomiting bug and was being sick.

Why on earth did they still come!!

I have expressed I’m not happy they still came and their response was, they have no Xmas food in as they had planned to come to us and they can’t just cancel Christmas.

I think it’s really selfish to come and infect all my household and am pretty pissed off. Partner thinks I’m overreacting and it will be fine.

OP posts:
OneMoreTime23 · 24/12/2023 12:58

Confine them to a room/outside. Selfish bastards.

ofestivetree · 24/12/2023 12:58

They are being ridiculous. It doesn't matter if its Christmas. If they wouldn't do it any other day they shouldn't be doing it now

Wishihadanalgorithm · 24/12/2023 12:59

Jeez! I don’t know what to say other than tell them to turn around and go home.

They would not be welcome again.

Myfirstsecondthird · 24/12/2023 12:59

OneMoreTime23 · 24/12/2023 12:58

Confine them to a room/outside. Selfish bastards.

This

FloweryName · 24/12/2023 13:00

I usually think people are over reacting on the threads where the OP is complaining about a relative seeing them when they have a cold but to visit when a child is literally being sick on the journey is so selfish.

one of them could have spent the two hours they travelled getting some Christmas food in, it’s not like the shops have shut yet!

Waitingfordoggo · 24/12/2023 13:01

Oh no, that’s really daft! I wouldn’t mind people coming with colds (provided they felt well enough to enjoy themselves) but bringing a sickness bug to your house is ridiculous. I’d be hacked off too.

justalittlesnoel · 24/12/2023 13:01

Shops are full of things! They should have done a shop today and not come - that's ridiculously selfish.

It's especially horrible parenting, the poor child now not at home and recovering, but forced by the parents on a long car journey and now in a house that's not got their home comforts in.

tenbob · 24/12/2023 13:02

I would head straight to the supermarket to buy them some easy to cook/heat food, a box of crackers and ask them to leave

The utter selfishness of thinking it’s ok to give you all d&v to save themselves a trip to the supermarket!

Waitingfordoggo · 24/12/2023 13:02

Also really unfair on the child who presumably feels shit, can’t eat much (or anything) and may be worried about being sick in someone else’s home and making a mess 😔

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 24/12/2023 13:02

I’d not be happy at all.
if it was definitely a bug and not travel sickness (mine would be sick many times on a 3 hour journey!) then I’d definitely cancel.
Christmas is one day and Christmas food isn’t mandatory - especially not with a sickness bug.

Riverlee · 24/12/2023 13:03

That it s selfish. You don’t bring a child with a sickness bug to another family.

momsybear · 24/12/2023 13:03

I'd be fuming OP. They should have stayed at home and either one parent gone to the supermarket or delay Christmas until they're all better. I hope you and your family don't catch it. I'd be inclined to send them packing tbh

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 24/12/2023 13:03

justalittlesnoel · 24/12/2023 13:01

Shops are full of things! They should have done a shop today and not come - that's ridiculously selfish.

It's especially horrible parenting, the poor child now not at home and recovering, but forced by the parents on a long car journey and now in a house that's not got their home comforts in.

This. Tell them to leave op. You will ALL be poorly if they don't. I would be raging.

TokyoSushi · 24/12/2023 13:03

Oh no! The supermarkets are open today, they should have stayed at home and sorted themselves out!

RatatouillePie · 24/12/2023 13:05

Is it a bug or just something he ate?

Given supermarkets are open today til 4pm then the no food thing doesn't make sense.

Driving with a vomiting child is ridiculous!

Caffeinequeen91 · 24/12/2023 13:05

That’s terrible. Tell them to go and stay in a hotel!

MassageForLife · 24/12/2023 13:05

Holy cow!! Shops are still open...

I would send them on their way. Imagine putting someone through a car journey when they were being sick!! Utterly selfish behaviour.

Ilovegoldies · 24/12/2023 13:06

My bitch of a SIL did similar. We travelled up to theirs for my nieces birthday party. We spent the afternoon playing with her and when it came to the food she said she wasn't hungry as she'd been sick in the night several times but didn't want to cancel the party as she would have been so disappointed. We spent the next week with D & V in rotation.

Moonshine5 · 24/12/2023 13:07

I would actually be gutted if my sister cancelled because of a child not being well. Can't they be in a different room, I mean we have space in that respect.

CatMadam · 24/12/2023 13:07

Extremely selfish of them, vomiting bugs are awful! Covid taught some people nothing about being considerate to others and staying the fuck at home if you’re not well!

Original poster
Madwife123 · 24/12/2023 13:08

I’ve barely spoke to them since they arrived. I’m so annoyed. Nephew is currently napping upstairs having been sick several times since they arrived.

I’ve made it clear i’m not happy but I keep hearing how it’s not fair on their older child to miss out etc. These things happen! If they had called and cancelled we would happily have had them in the new year or something.

I have given detol wipes to DSIL and asked her to wipe down anything he touches and keep him in the bedroom.

OP posts:
ZekeZeke · 24/12/2023 13:09

Incredibly selfish of your SIL.
Shops are open, having no food is no excuse.
I would have asked them to leave.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 24/12/2023 13:11

Madwife123 · 24/12/2023 13:08

I’ve barely spoke to them since they arrived. I’m so annoyed. Nephew is currently napping upstairs having been sick several times since they arrived.

I’ve made it clear i’m not happy but I keep hearing how it’s not fair on their older child to miss out etc. These things happen! If they had called and cancelled we would happily have had them in the new year or something.

I have given detol wipes to DSIL and asked her to wipe down anything he touches and keep him in the bedroom.

Dettol wipes won't work op. Clinnell wipes are the only ones that kill tummy bugs. What about your children's Christmas? Tell your sil that her children's Christmas does not trump yours. Your dc will be poorly by boxing day as will you if you don't sort this now. I am so angry for you

dudsville · 24/12/2023 13:12

I've ticked YANBU, but i would feel torn if this was close, much loved family.

StoodySmithereens · 24/12/2023 13:13

What lazy, selfish, bastards. I certainly would not be inviting them again.

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