To think they should have cancelled?

[Madwife123]

We invite DSIL and family for Christmas every year. They arrive Christmas Eve morning and stay until Boxing Day as they travel 3 hours to us.

We both have children, similar age and it works well for us as we have the bigger house to put them up and they enjoy not having the cooking etc.

Anyway, they arrived this morning as planned but nearly 2 hours late. Apologised for being late and explained they had to keep pulling over as nephew has a vomiting bug and was being sick.

Why on earth did they still come!!

I have expressed I’m not happy they still came and their response was, they have no Xmas food in as they had planned to come to us and they can’t just cancel Christmas.

I think it’s really selfish to come and infect all my household and am pretty pissed off. Partner thinks I’m overreacting and it will be fine.

I wouldn't normally wish such a bug on anyone, but I do hope SIL and BIL come down with it as well ... because of their perfect sense of entitlement to travel to someone else's home on a major holiday, with a vomiting child in the car, to inflict it on everyone else. And then stropped because they felt 'unwelcome' when you were reasonably trying to cut down on contaminated areas of your home.

I hope they get it, really suffer, and then apologise to you for travelling to your home with it.

Well hello Batshit sil.

This could have been avoided by the other family NOT BLOODY COMING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

THEY were the selfish ones thinking their children's Christmas trumps that of the op's family. They could have sent one parent to the supermarket to buy food on Christmas eve and had a low key day at home with poorly dc in their own bed. NOT bringing sickness and diarrhoea to someone else's home "because Christmas"

They are selfish fuckers and you are an absolute idiot if you genuinely believe the op is in the wrong here

@Madwife123 , if you read the OP's subsequent update, it appears that she didn't kick them out in the end, and that they decided to flounce because they felt unwelcome, rather than stay the night and leave in the morning. I'd have wanted to refuse to let them in at all, but this would have meant inflicting a 2nd car journey on the sick child with no respite. The OP was put in a very difficult position through no fault of her own.

@Madwife123 I sincerely hope you have all remained well. Your niece would presumably have started being ill while still at your house had they stayed.

I just don’t understand such lack of consideration. It’s horrible to arrive at someone’s house with Noro. Of course they should have cancelled.

Pathetic too: News Flash SIL and BIL - shops are open on Christmas Eve!

Fingers crossed OP.

Just to clarify, my post above should have been addressed to @maria2bela1 , not @Madwife123 , but I see that the comment has been removed.

Be aware that sickness bug germs can hang around on surfaces for 14 days 😱
I have been caught out by this myself, thinking it was safe to visit someone who had been unwell.

We were told halfway through a day visit to cousins that we were the first people to see them as they had a D&V bug for 3weeks going round all of them. I started vomiting on the way home. It went through all of us (I had to get Dh to come home from work at one point as I could get off the toilet and needed to stop a toddler with a nappy leaking round the house). Their response ‘yes it’s awful isn’t it!’

Travelling when someone could be sick at any moment, other than to seek medical treatment, is unreasonable. Even before you get to the place you are visiting. Concentration on driving will be affected.

Hope you all managed to stay well?

Thankfully everyone has stayed well!

Very pleased as was expecting us all to come down with it.

SIL (who left of her own accord and was not kicked out BTW, and I actually tried to convince her to leave in the morning rather than drag sleeping children out) hasn’t been in touch since. We hear from extended family she very much blames us for ruining their Christmas.

That's rich, they were potentially going to ruin YOUR Christmas and New Year’s with a D & V bug.

I’d be quite open with extended family and say that they had a bug that both nephew and niece caught so you couldn’t host them. Anyone with a grain of common sense would understand why you would you wouldn’t want to host spewing children!

SIL (who left of her own accord and was not kicked out BTW, and I actually tried to convince her to leave in the morning rather than drag sleeping children out) hasn’t been in touch since. We hear from extended family she very much blames us for ruining their Christmas.

And what do your extended family make of this @Madwife123 ?? I bet they think SIL was in the wrong?

Glad things worked out for you OP. Sadly not the case for me when an ill relative decided to visit just before Christmas. I began feeling ill Christmas evening and am only just now beginning to feel a bit better. Glad also to see you got more supportive comments on this thread than I got on mine.

My thought too, poor child should be resting at home, in their own surroundings, not being dragged out to visit relatives.

Well, boo hoo. Not your fault at all.

Glad you are all OK, no surprise (as I predicted) that they have somehow turned it on you, @Madwife123
When reality is if they had accepted the situation on Christmas eve and done a quick shop, it could all have been a lot simpler. Of course it would have been disappointing but if they'd been upfront about it I'm sure you'd have commiserated at the bad timing/bad luck and then rearranged another time to do "christmas" (we missed Christmas with family in 2021 due to covid and had a substitute Christmas Dinner with them in February or March)

You know the incubation time is 14 days, right?

Turn the tables. I’d tell them you actually feel worried about them making their child leave the comfort of their home when being this ill. It’s not something caring parents would do, and it’s a cause of concern they don’t understand this.

For a D&V bug? No it isn't.

Thankfully everyone has stayed well!

Very pleased as was expecting us all to come down with it.
This is the different expectation that I have to most posters and why I said earlier in the thread I wouldn't have turned up without calling but if someone had turned up with a poorly child I wouldn't have been that bothered. I would have expected it to be one of those random 24 hour things and an excellent chance of it not being passed on.

Certainly wouldn't have been panicking about bleaching every surface and all that jazz.

@Madwife123 I'm so happy to hear you stayed well. Had a similar (but not quite so bad) situation yesterday. Visited FIL who had been out for breakfast with his mates who were a day clear of noro. He said he can take his own risks- fine, I agree- but give us the option? Particularly because I'm putting my eldest in a car tomorrow to travel 500 miles to visit family 😬 Hoping we escape it too

That isn't the incubation period, which is 12-72 hours but Norovirus can survive on surfaces for up to a month and is excreted in sick people's faeces for up to 2 weeks.

Glad to hear you've all been okay OP!