AIBU about ds main present

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 24/12/2023 11:22

Your mum gets to give him the bike because it's from her and your dad.

Magenta65 · 24/12/2023 11:24

You get your parents to say Santa left a gift at their house for him. They get to see him have it, you’re being very unreasonable. If you wanted to see him get it Christmas morning you should’ve insisted you were going to buy it. You can’t take the credit now

PurpleOrchid42 · 24/12/2023 11:24

I think your mum should understand the whole Santa thing and give the bike to you. You're right, he'll be upset when he comes down and he hasn't got a bike. And that's her doing. Next year, don't tell her what he wants for Xmas, and get those things yourself. She can buy whatever she likes, and you can ensure he gets what he wanted, at the right time.

ClottedCreamScone · 24/12/2023 11:25

They are. They’re the ones who bought it, with your agreement. They should get to see him open it.

Your 4yo wants a bike - he’s not going to care whether it comes from Santa or his grandparents.

if you really think he’ll care, put a card from Santa in his stocking saying he knows grandparents are bringing an extra special something later and he hopes DS loves it.

Original poster

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:25

I don't want any credit for the bike! It's a gift from Santa not me

OP posts:

Original poster

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:25

ClottedCreamScone · 24/12/2023 11:25

They are. They’re the ones who bought it, with your agreement. They should get to see him open it.

Your 4yo wants a bike - he’s not going to care whether it comes from Santa or his grandparents.

if you really think he’ll care, put a card from Santa in his stocking saying he knows grandparents are bringing an extra special something later and he hopes DS loves it.

Good idea thank you!!!!!

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Luxell934 · 24/12/2023 11:27

He probably won't even remember he wanted a bike while he's opening all his other presents, he's 4 he will be too excited.

Original poster

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:27

PurpleOrchid42 · 24/12/2023 11:24

I think your mum should understand the whole Santa thing and give the bike to you. You're right, he'll be upset when he comes down and he hasn't got a bike. And that's her doing. Next year, don't tell her what he wants for Xmas, and get those things yourself. She can buy whatever she likes, and you can ensure he gets what he wanted, at the right time.

That's a good idea but sadly he told me he wanted the bike before he told me and she'd already sorted it

It's not that we can't afford a bike, we could have. I didn't realise it was as much of a big deal as DS is making it this past week

OP posts:

Original poster

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:28

Luxell934 · 24/12/2023 11:27

He probably won't even remember he wanted a bike while he's opening all his other presents, he's 4 he will be too excited.

This is true! Thank you

Im totally happy to be told AIBU, I'm just upset she's making this about her and not DS.

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NuffSaidSam · 24/12/2023 11:30

What about the stuff that 'Santa' has already got him? Did he ask for that too?

I'd just tell him that his bike request was probably a bit late for Santa to get/make and so he'll probably get the other things he asked for.

I think most kids are so excited on Christmas morning they don't necessarily remember what they asked a shopping centre Santa for. It's not like he's been going on about it for months. And even if he is a bit miffed, he's getting it a couple of hours later anyway!

For future years, get him to write his letter to Santa earlier and lock the Santa presents in!

PuttingDownRoots · 24/12/2023 11:31

Santa always checks with parents and grandparents before choosing his own presents so he doesn't duplicate anything.

Original poster

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:32

PuttingDownRoots · 24/12/2023 11:31

Santa always checks with parents and grandparents before choosing his own presents so he doesn't duplicate anything.

Love this thank you!!!

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Original poster

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:32

NuffSaidSam · 24/12/2023 11:30

What about the stuff that 'Santa' has already got him? Did he ask for that too?

I'd just tell him that his bike request was probably a bit late for Santa to get/make and so he'll probably get the other things he asked for.

I think most kids are so excited on Christmas morning they don't necessarily remember what they asked a shopping centre Santa for. It's not like he's been going on about it for months. And even if he is a bit miffed, he's getting it a couple of hours later anyway!

For future years, get him to write his letter to Santa earlier and lock the Santa presents in!

He did but he seems to have forgotten about that now and it's all about this bloody bike

I will definitely be more carefully next year!!

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plugin12 · 24/12/2023 11:33

So your parents gift of the bike is from "Santa" ?do they not just get to give him the gift from themselves ?
To be honest I avoid this whole situation but Santa bringing nice surprises/stockings and myself and family doing specific gifts.

plugin12 · 24/12/2023 11:34

By Santa *

SeaToSki · 24/12/2023 11:35

DS, how would Santa fit a bike on his sleigh… when dc ask for things that are too big (or expensive) for him to carry, he sends the requests back to the family.

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 24/12/2023 11:35

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:20

My DS who is 4 mentioned he wanted a bike a month or two ago. My parents said they would get him one for Xmas. I said ok.

Fast forward to December he met Santa and told Santa he wanted a bike for Xmas even though he hadn't talked about it since the first time in say October

Today all he's talking about is how Santa is bringing him a bike tomorrow

My parents are coming to ours for dinner and they said they will bring the bike with them late morning. I've asked them could we not have it now for him to walk downstairs in the morning. They said no as they want to be the one to give it to him.

For context ds only has a few things from Santa and the rest he knows are from other people. I've offer to swap the value of the bike in presents we have for him. My mum lost it with me and said they want to see his face when he gets it

I'm annoyed. Who's right?

If you wanted to give him the bike you should have bought it for him.

YAB completely U.

Pineapplewaves · 24/12/2023 11:36

Your DS won't notice who gifted him the bike, just that he got one. Every year my two DS ask Santa for something more expensive than we would spend on Santa so the expensive gift comes from us as their main present and Santa gifts all the cheap things. Neither of them have ever asked why the main gift they asked Santa for didn't come from Santa - too much excitement going on!

Lifestooshort71 · 24/12/2023 11:37

PurpleOrchid42 · Today 11:24

I think your mum should understand the whole Santa thing and give the bike to you. You're right, he'll be upset when he comes down and he hasn't got a bike. And that's her doing. Next year, don't tell her what he wants for Xmas, and get those things yourself. She can buy whatever she likes, and you can ensure he gets what he wanted, at the right time.
How is that her doing? The OP and she agreed that her parents would get him a bike and now she's backtracking and want it to be from Father Christmas! If I was her mum I'd take it back to Halfords and say, mistake, FC is bringing one. If her son is upset that it's not under the tree when he comes down in the morning then say perhaps he couldn't get it on his sleigh but hopefully it'll arrive later. If I was his gran then I'd want to see his little face when he opened something from me and his grandpa.

PossumintheHouse · 24/12/2023 11:37

Give over. Your parents have bought the bike. He doesn’t have to open everything 30 seconds after he views them. It’s good to have a gap between presents.

NuffSaidSam · 24/12/2023 11:38

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:32

He did but he seems to have forgotten about that now and it's all about this bloody bike

I will definitely be more carefully next year!!

Show quote history

I'd use today to gently remind him of what he asked Santa for before the bike and manage his expectations.

The benefit of having it from your parents will be a lovely lifelong memory. Eventually he'll find out about Santa and the magic will disappear, but when your parents are gone he'll remember the Christmas that Granny and Grandpa turned up with his first bike! I love the whole Santa thing, but there are other equally/more important moments at Christmas. I know you're annoyed with your Mum because she's making it about her and not DS, but I'd have a think why you're so keen to make it about someone who in 5 years your DS will know was a lie instead of the lifelong attachment he'll have to your parents. That's important too!

WandaWonder · 24/12/2023 11:38

You can't control people like that

WolfFoxHare · 24/12/2023 11:38

I always think it’s extremely selfish to be more concerned about getting the credit for buying a gift than about the recipient’s pleasure when they receive it under/by the tree ‘from Santa’ first thing on Christmas morning. But I’m clearly in the minority.

Beamur · 24/12/2023 11:40

Your Mum is being a bit selfish. If it from Father Christmas it should be there in the morning.
Personally I think having any expensive gifts 'from Santa' sets up this kind of faff.
We have only had stockings from Santa and everything else from the person who bought it.

whatsitcalledwhen · 24/12/2023 11:40

A letter with the bike?

"Dear (son's name),

I know you asked for a bike for Christmas this year so I checked with your mummy and daddy to see if you already had one... and it turns out your grandma had already got you one! What a clever grandma! I've left you some other treats and I hope you enjoy them as well as your bike.

Love Santa x"

Something like that? Everyone's a winner.