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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about ds main present

199 replies

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:20

My DS who is 4 mentioned he wanted a bike a month or two ago. My parents said they would get him one for Xmas. I said ok.

Fast forward to December he met Santa and told Santa he wanted a bike for Xmas even though he hadn't talked about it since the first time in say October

Today all he's talking about is how Santa is bringing him a bike tomorrow

My parents are coming to ours for dinner and they said they will bring the bike with them late morning. I've asked them could we not have it now for him to walk downstairs in the morning. They said no as they want to be the one to give it to him.

For context ds only has a few things from Santa and the rest he knows are from other people. I've offer to swap the value of the bike in presents we have for him. My mum lost it with me and said they want to see his face when he gets it

I'm annoyed. Who's right?

OP posts:
ActDottie · 24/12/2023 13:24

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 24/12/2023 11:22

Your mum gets to give him the bike because it's from her and your dad.

Basically this…

He’s still getting a bike. If he doesn’t get it first thing that’s fine. Just tell him to wait and see. It’s not like he’ll have long to wait.

I think you’re really overthinking this.

Mumof2NDers · 24/12/2023 13:25

I can see it from both sides tbh.
He believes in Santa so you don’t want him to be disappointed on Christmas morning.
Your parents are excited because they’ve bought him something he really wants and understandably want to see his face when he receives it. I think in this situation I’d say nothing unless DS mentions it. Then maybe say Santa didn’t get the bike because someone else who loves him very much wanted to get him one. Hopefully as a PP said he’ll be so excited by everything else that he won’t mention it x

purpleme12 · 24/12/2023 13:29

Your mum is right.
I am not surprised she's annoyed with you for saying that.
She should be able to give him the bike and see his face

Ariela · 24/12/2023 13:30

I think it's a useful lesson to learn that not everything you ask for from Santa is possible. You can always say it's a bit too big for Santa to fit in the sleigh - if he asks. I suspect he won't as he'll be delighted with the other stuff you got him.

I think as the grandparents have got him a bike it's absolutely fine that they should give it to him.

mumsytoon · 24/12/2023 13:31

PossumintheHouse · 24/12/2023 11:37

Give over. Your parents have bought the bike. He doesn’t have to open everything 30 seconds after he views them. It’s good to have a gap between presents.

This. Pretty pathetic how people are prepared to upset others all over this Santa nonsense. It really is. I remembered someone telling me way back before kids to not let Santa get any credit. You worked hard to buy the gifts so let them know it comes from you. Also some kids don't get any gifts, so that sends a message that some kids are underserving of gifts. Gifts from Santa is for the privileged who won't even comprehend this. My kids get a book from Santa. That's it. Christmas can still be magical without this ridiculousness.

FuzzyPuffling · 24/12/2023 13:33

mumsytoon · 24/12/2023 13:31

This. Pretty pathetic how people are prepared to upset others all over this Santa nonsense. It really is. I remembered someone telling me way back before kids to not let Santa get any credit. You worked hard to buy the gifts so let them know it comes from you. Also some kids don't get any gifts, so that sends a message that some kids are underserving of gifts. Gifts from Santa is for the privileged who won't even comprehend this. My kids get a book from Santa. That's it. Christmas can still be magical without this ridiculousness.

Show quote history

Yes, this. Beautifully put.

Nowtbettertodo · 24/12/2023 13:37

Everyone is different but Santa always brought the stocking with small gifts in our house.

Not everyone can afford big gifts and I always imagined the kids at school who didn't have much being told by other kids that Santa brought them a bike/games console etc and they only got a small gift from him.

crumpet · 24/12/2023 13:37

No need for a letter. Simply explain that Santa knows what do to at Christmas. And if he asks where his bike is, you can just say you don’t know but of course Christmas isn’t finished yet so let’s see what happens before Christmas is finished. Done.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 24/12/2023 13:39

He's 4. Tell him Santa sent an elf to your grandparents asking them to get it as it's too big to fit in his sleigh with all the other children's presents.

What a non event!

Whataretheodds · 24/12/2023 13:43

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:25

I don't want any credit for the bike! It's a gift from Santa not me

It's a gift from your parents, you said!

Of course they want to see his face. They've already made it clear they're happy to give the credit to Santa.

YABU. If you think it will be such an issue that he doesn't get the bike in the morning, ask them if you can take it him to theirs in the morning because Santa left another present there. That way they get to see his face and he doesn't have to wait.

ofestivetree · 24/12/2023 13:45

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 13:01

@ofestivetree this is a women who told me my husband had bought me an engagement ring.....

Ah right. There are complex emotions here that understandably can't be conveyed in one post on an Internet forum. I wish you a happy Christmas

caringcarer · 24/12/2023 13:45

You told your parents your DS wanted a bike they offered to buy it and you said yes. If you wanted the bike to come from Santa you should have said no Santa will bring it. Your parents are not being unreasonable wanting your DS to know they bought it for him. Santa can bring his other gifts. Think more next year what you want Santa to bring. Your DS won't care who he got it from anyway, just happy he got one. You can always tell him bikes are a bit big to fit on Santa's sleigh.

MissBuffyAnneSummers · 24/12/2023 13:45

GPs and Santa have discussed it and agreed that GPs are getting the bike and Santa is getting other things.

CurlewKate · 24/12/2023 13:45

I do think Father Christmas is more bloody trouble than he's worth, frankly!

caringcarer · 24/12/2023 13:46

Beamur · 24/12/2023 11:40

Your Mum is being a bit selfish. If it from Father Christmas it should be there in the morning.
Personally I think having any expensive gifts 'from Santa' sets up this kind of faff.
We have only had stockings from Santa and everything else from the person who bought it.

The bike is not from Santa it's from the Grandparents. They bought it for their DGS.

caringcarer · 24/12/2023 13:47

GeorgeA12 · 24/12/2023 12:09

Right - so you could put a box under the tree with some chocs inside and a letter inside. Get him to open it last and the letter from Santa says that he hopes he enjoys his presents and that he has left a special one at his Grandparents. You take him along there. Just discuss with your parents whether the bike is from them or Santa and adjust the letter accordingly.

FFS the bike is not from Santa it's from his Grandparents.

caringcarer · 24/12/2023 13:49

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:27

@MulledWineBeMine okay point taken, if by chance my son mentions the bike tomorrow, what would you suggest I say?

Bikes are too big to go on a sleigh.

saffronsoup · 24/12/2023 13:51

whatsitcalledwhen · 24/12/2023 11:40

A letter with the bike?

"Dear (son's name),

I know you asked for a bike for Christmas this year so I checked with your mummy and daddy to see if you already had one... and it turns out your grandma had already got you one! What a clever grandma! I've left you some other treats and I hope you enjoy them as well as your bike.

Love Santa x"

Something like that? Everyone's a winner.

It is pretty spiteful to spoil the gift from grandparents and the surprise because you are mad they wouldn’t give you their gift and give him nothing from them.

this is why we don’t do Santa. Craziness that grandparents can’t give a Christmas gift without it turning into a conflict because of Santa.

MargotBamborough · 24/12/2023 13:52

They bought it, of course they want to see him open it.

Another perspective: my kids won't be getting big presents from Santa because when they all go back to school after the holidays and talk about what they got, it seems like Santa buys more stuff for kids from rich families than for kids from poor families.

So we will just have a few small things from Santa and the big presents will be given to our children from the people who they are actually from.

Maybe a note from Santa saying he couldn't fit the bike in his sack but he wrote to Nanny and Grandad and let them know he would like one.

Z1hun · 24/12/2023 13:54

I think you are in the wrong. You can't let someone buy something and then take it away from them last minute.

you should apologise to prevent ill feeling over Xmas and Tell your son that santa has delegated some of the gifts to other family members to give.

Benibidibici · 24/12/2023 13:55

In our house santa fills the stockings.

This controls for expectations for the bigger things under the tree - my kids have a vague notion that FC helps deliver some of that, but they know the gifts are from family.

The stuff in the stockings is small stuff/sweets etc.

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 13:57

Thank you for your comments, I have actually sorted this with my family now and so we are off to enjoy Xmas eve!

Have a lovely Xmas all
Xx

OP posts:
Raindancer411 · 24/12/2023 13:57

I am with your mum as it was said ages ago they would get it.

All you need to say is when they give it, Santa knew his grandparents had already got him one, so he didn't need to get one and got other items

Ffsmakeitstop · 24/12/2023 14:03

Santa was always just a delivery person when ours were little. So much easier.

WhichIsItWendy · 24/12/2023 14:06

OP you really need some perspective. He's 4 for god's sake, he won't even remember if it was Santa or your parents. He doesn't care what Santa gets him, he just wants a bike.

You sound really entitled. Your mum offered to buy him a bike and you said..."fine"? Fine? That's so rude. You should have said something along the lines of "that's so generous mum, thank you. If you're sure, that would be great!". Not fine.

Now, you want to take it so that Santa can give it?

My kids are 3 and 5 and they don't care who gives them what, they're just excited for Christmas.

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