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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about ds main present

199 replies

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:20

My DS who is 4 mentioned he wanted a bike a month or two ago. My parents said they would get him one for Xmas. I said ok.

Fast forward to December he met Santa and told Santa he wanted a bike for Xmas even though he hadn't talked about it since the first time in say October

Today all he's talking about is how Santa is bringing him a bike tomorrow

My parents are coming to ours for dinner and they said they will bring the bike with them late morning. I've asked them could we not have it now for him to walk downstairs in the morning. They said no as they want to be the one to give it to him.

For context ds only has a few things from Santa and the rest he knows are from other people. I've offer to swap the value of the bike in presents we have for him. My mum lost it with me and said they want to see his face when he gets it

I'm annoyed. Who's right?

OP posts:
Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:48

jollywhite · 24/12/2023 12:46

Santa doesn't bring big presents, parents and grandparents do.
He wont' remember when opening his stocking - he's 4.

Let your mum and dad take the credit and stop being a selfish idiot to your mum and dad. Of course they want to see his face and see his joy that they have got him what he desperately wanted.

This proper made me laugh Xmas Grin

OP posts:
Ellie1015 · 24/12/2023 12:48

If you or Santa tell him gran is bringing a bike that still ruins her seeing his reaction anyway. Not saying you shouldn't do it but it will cause more agro with your mum.

I would manage his expectations by saying santa doesnt always bring exactly what you ask for but will get some lovely presents. (Handy message when he asks for something you arent willing to get him anyway).

Likely he will be excited with what he does have and if he mentions bike say "yeah looks like Santa didnt manage bike this time we can get you one for your birthday"

TiredOfSayingItAgain · 24/12/2023 12:49

Bloody hell, your parents are buying the bike and bringing it. Your boy can surely wait a couple of hours. Try having a bit of gratitude.

CrapBucket · 24/12/2023 12:49

I would do a letter from Santa ‘you’ve been such a good boy this year especially [example] and I’m very happy you are on my nice list! Here are some presents from me and I know your family has got you some lovely things too, aren’t you lucky. Have a Merry Christmas and keep being good in the new year’

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:49

Ellie1015 · 24/12/2023 12:48

If you or Santa tell him gran is bringing a bike that still ruins her seeing his reaction anyway. Not saying you shouldn't do it but it will cause more agro with your mum.

I would manage his expectations by saying santa doesnt always bring exactly what you ask for but will get some lovely presents. (Handy message when he asks for something you arent willing to get him anyway).

Likely he will be excited with what he does have and if he mentions bike say "yeah looks like Santa didnt manage bike this time we can get you one for your birthday"

She's told me that she's told him he's getting a bike for Xmas now so he's ruined her own surprise lol

OP posts:
Notmetoo · 24/12/2023 12:51

Your mum is right. She bought it she wants to see him open it. It's only fair
This is why we never made the bug gifts from Santa. Only the stocking which we bought .
Can't you give him something else from Santa then when your mum gives him the bike say he knew grandma was getting him s bike so he didn't get him one .
Best just not to overthink it too much

Wheresmykitten · 24/12/2023 12:52

your parents are putting their own feelings ahead of your son. Of course he will be disappointed when he comes down and Santa hasn’t brought his bike , yes he will be happy later when he gets it but it’s all about walking in in Xmas morning isn’t it? Video his reaction for your parents. I’m totally with you on this one x

HiCandles · 24/12/2023 12:53

In my family Santa only brings stocking bits and all main presents are from the actual gift purchaser. It's very odd that your mum thinks it's ok that Santa would leave a present for him at their house. Doesn't Santa have enough to do without delivering to TWO for houses for one child. I would tell her the bike is from her and not to confuse him by letting him think he gets Santa presents in 2 locations.
I would start a conversation with him today saying 'I wonder what Santa will bring you? Will it be (list a few small things you have bought, plus other random bits)? He must have so much to fit on his sleigh, how does he do it! No way he'll have room for big things like bikes. I wonder if he'd like whisky or sherry tonight...' etc.
Then tomorrow he'll be prepared that there'll be no bike and when granny gives it to him the surprise will be there.

Parky04 · 24/12/2023 12:54

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:48

This proper made me laugh Xmas Grin

Show quote history

I'm not sure why, as the poster is correct, in my opinion.

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:54

Wheresmykitten · 24/12/2023 12:52

your parents are putting their own feelings ahead of your son. Of course he will be disappointed when he comes down and Santa hasn’t brought his bike , yes he will be happy later when he gets it but it’s all about walking in in Xmas morning isn’t it? Video his reaction for your parents. I’m totally with you on this one x

Thank you!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:55

@Parky04 😂 one post can tell you how intelligent or not intelligent I am? That's why I'm laughing

OP posts:
calishire · 24/12/2023 12:59

Pineapplewaves · 24/12/2023 11:36

Your DS won't notice who gifted him the bike, just that he got one. Every year my two DS ask Santa for something more expensive than we would spend on Santa so the expensive gift comes from us as their main present and Santa gifts all the cheap things. Neither of them have ever asked why the main gift they asked Santa for didn't come from Santa - too much excitement going on!

This ^

You are being massively unreasonable!

exitviathegiftshop · 24/12/2023 13:00

Stop telling kids that Santa brings expensive stuff! It just makes the kids in less well off families feel like they have done something wrong and Santa doesn't think they deserve a massive present.

ofestivetree · 24/12/2023 13:00

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:49

She's told me that she's told him he's getting a bike for Xmas now so he's ruined her own surprise lol

Show quote history

Why did she do that?!

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 13:01

@ofestivetree this is a women who told me my husband had bought me an engagement ring.....

OP posts:
Glenthebattleostrich · 24/12/2023 13:03

This is why in my house Santa brings the stockings and 1 small present. The rest are from us / grandparents etc. Frankly I have 1 fat bloke taking credit for my efforts, I don't need. a second 😂. (It's a joke DH started before anyone jumps on the comment).

Baffledandalarmed · 24/12/2023 13:04

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:55

@Parky04 😂 one post can tell you how intelligent or not intelligent I am? That's why I'm laughing

I didn't think anyone in that chain had said anything about how intelligent you are? All they said was that of course your parents want to see your sons reaction to the present they got him?

It's Christmas. Ultimately, it's not about what you want, it's about what everyone around you wants...Christmas is the time of year everyone else comes first. Your son won't suffer for waiting a few extra minutes and it'll make your parents happy. Doesn't their joy trump yours?

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 13:06

@Baffledandalarmed well I got called a selfish idiot so I'm assuming the idiot part suggests that but thank you, advice taken :)

OP posts:
Lifestooshort71 · 24/12/2023 13:09

ivfbabymomma1 · Today 13:01

@ofestivetree this is a women who told me my husband had bought me an engagement ring.....
Oh, come on then, drip feed what an unhinged person your mum is....

macaronicheezepleeze · 24/12/2023 13:11

My 2 year old has asked Santa for a ride on fire engine. He has talked about it all December. When you ask him what he wants from Santa he says "big fire engine" without fail every time.

My parents bought it for him and wrapped it in Santa wrapping paper with a message from Santa on it and snuck it to our house last night.

They don't care that they won't be there to see him get it on Christmas morning. We will take photos of him opening it and they are simply overjoyed to be part of the magic for him. They have some other little presents for him to open when we visit their house later on.

I think you're not being unreasonable but I would simply tell your son that Santa knew his gran and grandad were getting him the bike so he sent all these other presents instead. Maybe make a card from Santa with a picture of a bike on it that says something along the lines of there being a big surprise to come later today.

And next year don't let anyone else buy his request to Santa 🎅🏻

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 13:11

Lifestooshort71 · 24/12/2023 13:09

ivfbabymomma1 · Today 13:01

@ofestivetree this is a women who told me my husband had bought me an engagement ring.....
Oh, come on then, drip feed what an unhinged person your mum is....

Sorry 😂 it's been years so I completely forgot about that until someone asked why would she ruin a surprise lol! & I guess it's not really relevant to bikegate

OP posts:
FuzzyPuffling · 24/12/2023 13:16

Santa doesn't exist.
How much better that you son knows he has loving and generous grandparents.

FlutteryButterfly · 24/12/2023 13:16

There seems to be alot of confusion on this thread. I understand it as-

OPs DS had mentioned he wanted a bike. GPs said they'd get one for Christmas, from them, no suggestion it was a santa gift.

In the last week or so OPs DS has asked Santa for a bike.....

If this is correct I'm with the GPs! Just give him what you already had/have as you were. He is 4! He'll still love his bike from his GP. I don't think they are making it about them.

WolfFoxHare · 24/12/2023 13:16

Lifestooshort71 · 24/12/2023 11:37

PurpleOrchid42 · Today 11:24

I think your mum should understand the whole Santa thing and give the bike to you. You're right, he'll be upset when he comes down and he hasn't got a bike. And that's her doing. Next year, don't tell her what he wants for Xmas, and get those things yourself. She can buy whatever she likes, and you can ensure he gets what he wanted, at the right time.
How is that her doing? The OP and she agreed that her parents would get him a bike and now she's backtracking and want it to be from Father Christmas! If I was her mum I'd take it back to Halfords and say, mistake, FC is bringing one. If her son is upset that it's not under the tree when he comes down in the morning then say perhaps he couldn't get it on his sleigh but hopefully it'll arrive later. If I was his gran then I'd want to see his little face when he opened something from me and his grandpa.

If I was her mum I'd take it back to Halfords and say, mistake, FC is bringing one

Wow, I’m very glad you’re not my mum or MIL. You’re so keen on getting the credit that you’d rather he didn’t get a bike at all than he thought Santa had given it to him? That’s messed up.

Myhusbandearns150k · 24/12/2023 13:18

I’m only an auntie but I would happily buy the bike and then have it there for the morning from Santa. You really don’t need credit when you see the magic.