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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about ds main present

199 replies

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:20

My DS who is 4 mentioned he wanted a bike a month or two ago. My parents said they would get him one for Xmas. I said ok.

Fast forward to December he met Santa and told Santa he wanted a bike for Xmas even though he hadn't talked about it since the first time in say October

Today all he's talking about is how Santa is bringing him a bike tomorrow

My parents are coming to ours for dinner and they said they will bring the bike with them late morning. I've asked them could we not have it now for him to walk downstairs in the morning. They said no as they want to be the one to give it to him.

For context ds only has a few things from Santa and the rest he knows are from other people. I've offer to swap the value of the bike in presents we have for him. My mum lost it with me and said they want to see his face when he gets it

I'm annoyed. Who's right?

OP posts:
mottytotty · 24/12/2023 11:40

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:25

I don't want any credit for the bike! It's a gift from Santa not me

No, the gift is from your parents.

Don’t take that away from them.

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:41

whatsitcalledwhen · 24/12/2023 11:40

A letter with the bike?

"Dear (son's name),

I know you asked for a bike for Christmas this year so I checked with your mummy and daddy to see if you already had one... and it turns out your grandma had already got you one! What a clever grandma! I've left you some other treats and I hope you enjoy them as well as your bike.

Love Santa x"

Something like that? Everyone's a winner.

Perfect thank you so much

Some people are posting as if I want the credit.... I don't... at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:43

@howdoesyourgardengrowinmay but I don't want to to give him the bike.

OP posts:
PurpleOrchid42 · 24/12/2023 11:46

Lifestooshort71 · 24/12/2023 11:37

PurpleOrchid42 · Today 11:24

I think your mum should understand the whole Santa thing and give the bike to you. You're right, he'll be upset when he comes down and he hasn't got a bike. And that's her doing. Next year, don't tell her what he wants for Xmas, and get those things yourself. She can buy whatever she likes, and you can ensure he gets what he wanted, at the right time.
How is that her doing? The OP and she agreed that her parents would get him a bike and now she's backtracking and want it to be from Father Christmas! If I was her mum I'd take it back to Halfords and say, mistake, FC is bringing one. If her son is upset that it's not under the tree when he comes down in the morning then say perhaps he couldn't get it on his sleigh but hopefully it'll arrive later. If I was his gran then I'd want to see his little face when he opened something from me and his grandpa.

They didn't make that agreement at all! Granny bought it before telling Mummy that he told her he wanted Santa to bring a bike for Xmas...

eddiemairswife · 24/12/2023 11:46

Once upon a time a child might express a wish for a present. Now it seems they provide a shopping list and expect to get everything on it.

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:47

eddiemairswife · 24/12/2023 11:46

Once upon a time a child might express a wish for a present. Now it seems they provide a shopping list and expect to get everything on it.

Erm 😂 sweeping statement considering you do not know my son or what he's asked for or what he's got.

OP posts:
Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:50

eddiemairswife · 24/12/2023 11:46

Once upon a time a child might express a wish for a present. Now it seems they provide a shopping list and expect to get everything on it.

Santa literally asked him what he wanted for Xmas. He said a bike. If children aren't allowed to ask for things... someone needs to have a word with all the Santa's in the uk

OP posts:
mottytotty · 24/12/2023 11:50

.

WeedAndDrivingDontMix · 24/12/2023 11:50

My mum lost it with me and said they want to see his face when he gets it

Your mum is childish. He is 4, and he thinks he is getting it from Santa. Don't ever let GP's control how your DC are going to feel on Christmas Day again. You have both messed up TBH. GP for the real gift of giving herself joy, and you for letting her take over.

Next year you need to buy his main present yourself, and tell him the stocking is from Santa, and GP's can get him something on the rest of his list.

mottytotty · 24/12/2023 11:51

PurpleOrchid42 · 24/12/2023 11:46

They didn't make that agreement at all! Granny bought it before telling Mummy that he told her he wanted Santa to bring a bike for Xmas...

Show quote history

They did agree. Reread the OP:

My DS who is 4 mentioned he wanted a bike a month or two ago. My parents said they would get him one for Xmas. I said ok.

Fast forward to December he met Santa and told Santa he wanted a bike for Xmas even though he hadn't talked about it since the first time in say October

mottytotty · 24/12/2023 11:51

WeedAndDrivingDontMix · 24/12/2023 11:50

My mum lost it with me and said they want to see his face when he gets it

Your mum is childish. He is 4, and he thinks he is getting it from Santa. Don't ever let GP's control how your DC are going to feel on Christmas Day again. You have both messed up TBH. GP for the real gift of giving herself joy, and you for letting her take over.

Next year you need to buy his main present yourself, and tell him the stocking is from Santa, and GP's can get him something on the rest of his list.

Edited

He won’t care who the bike is from, he is excited for the bike.

JMSA · 24/12/2023 11:53

It's not your parents' fault that you haven't bought much for your son, and are relying on them for his main present.

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:54

JMSA · 24/12/2023 11:53

It's not your parents' fault that you haven't bought much for your son, and are relying on them for his main present.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah I've bought him plenty and spent a lot more money than they have. I don't mean main present as in the most expensive, I mean the main thing he wants

OP posts:
toomanyleggings · 24/12/2023 11:56

I agree with you. It should be under the tree Christmas morning. My dd 3 has also asked for a bike, a specific one she saw in the shop. My mum transferred me the money for it and it’ll be there Christmas morning. Can you invite them to stay Christmas Eve so they can be there ?

SophieJo · 24/12/2023 11:57

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:25

I don't want any credit for the bike! It's a gift from Santa not me

So why are you so annoyed then?

BodyKeepingScore · 24/12/2023 11:57

whatsitcalledwhen · 24/12/2023 11:40

A letter with the bike?

"Dear (son's name),

I know you asked for a bike for Christmas this year so I checked with your mummy and daddy to see if you already had one... and it turns out your grandma had already got you one! What a clever grandma! I've left you some other treats and I hope you enjoy them as well as your bike.

Love Santa x"

Something like that? Everyone's a winner.

But then that totally spoils the surprise and the grandparents don't get the joy of a spontaneous reaction to the wonderful gift they've bought.

MStarG · 24/12/2023 11:58

Surely Christmas should be about what is best for your little one and coming downstairs to the bike he's hoping for is going to make him the happiest. I think YANBU and if I asked my mum if my lo could have it in the house for Christmas morning she'd be more than happy to. My Granny's presents were always 'picked by her but delivered by Santa' and were there on Christmas morning. She got to see my delight later in the day when I thanked her and spent the afternoon playing with the gift.

GeorgeA12 · 24/12/2023 11:59

Did you tell your parents the bike was going to be a gift from Santa? If so I think it needs to be their christmas morning when your son wakes up. If not your parents are in the right to bring it.

Sorry whatsitcalledwhen - I dont think the OP should definitely not do what you suggest. This then takes the surprise of the bike away when the grandparents turn up for it.

The problem for the son is that he is going to be disappointed christmas morning if the bike is not going to be there. How you manage that expectation until it arrives you will need to think about.

SEG152 · 24/12/2023 11:59

They purchased the bike, they want to be able to give it to him. You’re being unreasonable.

ZombieGirl86 · 24/12/2023 11:59

All the credit stuff is nonsense. He is 4. It should be what makes him happy which would be to get it first thing. They are going to ruin his belief in santa for the sake of them being there ffs selfish on their part.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 24/12/2023 12:00

You’re being weird.

Santa isn’t real, his grandparents are. They bought a lovely gift and want to surprise him.

Please don’t put a card in his stocking ruining that surprise.

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:00

GeorgeA12 · 24/12/2023 11:59

Did you tell your parents the bike was going to be a gift from Santa? If so I think it needs to be their christmas morning when your son wakes up. If not your parents are in the right to bring it.

Sorry whatsitcalledwhen - I dont think the OP should definitely not do what you suggest. This then takes the surprise of the bike away when the grandparents turn up for it.

The problem for the son is that he is going to be disappointed christmas morning if the bike is not going to be there. How you manage that expectation until it arrives you will need to think about.

Exactly!! As PP said I'm hoping the excitement of the presents he does have will take over and he will forget. If he does bring it up I might just say nan & grandad bought it you and they will be here later!

OP posts:
GeorgeA12 · 24/12/2023 12:01

could the granparents stay over tonight or come very early tomorrow? Everyone happy then.

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:02

GeorgeA12 · 24/12/2023 12:01

could the granparents stay over tonight or come very early tomorrow? Everyone happy then.

I ask them and they said they will be here when the are here but they live 5 mins away thankfully

OP posts:
GeorgeA12 · 24/12/2023 12:02

no dont tell your son the grandparents are bringing it! Will ruin the surprise.