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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about ds main present

199 replies

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:20

My DS who is 4 mentioned he wanted a bike a month or two ago. My parents said they would get him one for Xmas. I said ok.

Fast forward to December he met Santa and told Santa he wanted a bike for Xmas even though he hadn't talked about it since the first time in say October

Today all he's talking about is how Santa is bringing him a bike tomorrow

My parents are coming to ours for dinner and they said they will bring the bike with them late morning. I've asked them could we not have it now for him to walk downstairs in the morning. They said no as they want to be the one to give it to him.

For context ds only has a few things from Santa and the rest he knows are from other people. I've offer to swap the value of the bike in presents we have for him. My mum lost it with me and said they want to see his face when he gets it

I'm annoyed. Who's right?

OP posts:
GeorgeA12 · 24/12/2023 12:03

Right - so they are 5 mins away. Just get them to come early with it before your son wakes up, problem solved.

Lovingitallnow · 24/12/2023 12:04

Your mom is being a pain in the arse. You haven't changed your mind the 4 year old has. I'd tell her I'm heading to the shops to get a bike for Xmas morning.

Lifestooshort71 · 24/12/2023 12:04

PurpleOrchid42 · Today 11:46

They didn't make that agreement at all! Granny bought it before telling Mummy that he told her he wanted Santa to bring a bike for Xmas
**
Oh yes they did!! The OP said....

My DS who is 4 mentioned he wanted a bike a month or two ago. My parents said they would get him one for Xmas. I said ok.

ofestivetree · 24/12/2023 12:05

They are right and you need to stop thinking everything has to be magical santa stuff. Make it about the spirit of giving to each other Santa can pass on messages to people sure. But you're only going to have problems like this if you make it all about santa.

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:05

GeorgeA12 · 24/12/2023 12:03

Right - so they are 5 mins away. Just get them to come early with it before your son wakes up, problem solved.

You would think so but they said they will "be here when they get here and won't be rushed" my dad is disabled too so it's not quite so easy. I could walk him to theres in the morning perhaps! why i didnt think of that before i dont know

OP posts:
Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:06

Lovingitallnow · 24/12/2023 12:04

Your mom is being a pain in the arse. You haven't changed your mind the 4 year old has. I'd tell her I'm heading to the shops to get a bike for Xmas morning.

I'll be honest that did cross my mind 🤣

OP posts:
AuntMarch · 24/12/2023 12:07

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:25

I don't want any credit for the bike! It's a gift from Santa not me

But it isn't from santa

Devilsmommy · 24/12/2023 12:07

Your mom paid for it so she deserves to see his face

Lovingitallnow · 24/12/2023 12:07

@ivfbabymomma1 in fairness I'm probably mad but my dp always love the magic of Xmas and walk over hot coals for my dc and would want what would make the dc most happy and not what would make themselves most happy.

ofestivetree · 24/12/2023 12:07

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 11:32

Love this thank you!!!

Show quote history

This is the best way to do it. If he asks about the bike just say something like Christmas isn't over yet.

ofestivetree · 24/12/2023 12:08

Oh and I think you owe your mum an apology

GeorgeA12 · 24/12/2023 12:09

Right - so you could put a box under the tree with some chocs inside and a letter inside. Get him to open it last and the letter from Santa says that he hopes he enjoys his presents and that he has left a special one at his Grandparents. You take him along there. Just discuss with your parents whether the bike is from them or Santa and adjust the letter accordingly.

Justme10 · 24/12/2023 12:09

I think they are being quite selfish to be honest. I can't believe they won't let it be a gift from Santa.

Can you offer to video his reaction so they can see it?

HaPPy8 · 24/12/2023 12:10

Who is the bike meant to be from?! I’m confused. Are your parents saying it’s from Santa and they have a different gift from them? Or are they telling him it’s from them?

DiaNaranja · 24/12/2023 12:11

This is why Santa only delivers the stockings in our house. All the big things they ask for, they know that they won't get from Santa, but that he has to "a okay" it for parents to be able to get it, keeps the magic going, without ludicrous expectations. So they may ask Santa for a bike, but they know ultimately it will be bought by us, Santa just has to approve it first. Maybe developing a different approach in how you do satan will solve future issues.

DiaNaranja · 24/12/2023 12:11

SANTA... NOT SATAN!!

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:13

HaPPy8 · 24/12/2023 12:10

Who is the bike meant to be from?! I’m confused. Are your parents saying it’s from Santa and they have a different gift from them? Or are they telling him it’s from them?

They want to say Santa has delivered him a present at their house. (We've spoken since my initial post) so they get to bring it when they arrive and see his reaction

OP posts:
mottytotty · 24/12/2023 12:13

DiaNaranja · 24/12/2023 12:11

SANTA... NOT SATAN!!

I think you might be on to something there 🤣

The way he climbs down chimneys at night is quite creepy.

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:13

DiaNaranja · 24/12/2023 12:11

This is why Santa only delivers the stockings in our house. All the big things they ask for, they know that they won't get from Santa, but that he has to "a okay" it for parents to be able to get it, keeps the magic going, without ludicrous expectations. So they may ask Santa for a bike, but they know ultimately it will be bought by us, Santa just has to approve it first. Maybe developing a different approach in how you do satan will solve future issues.

I'll definitely do things differently next year

OP posts:
Sirzy · 24/12/2023 12:14

The bike isn’t from Santa. It’s from his loving grandparents who have kindly purchased him one.

if you wanted to control it being from Santa you should have said “no thanks it’s his Santa gift but you could get him x instead”

ofestivetree · 24/12/2023 12:14

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:13

They want to say Santa has delivered him a present at their house. (We've spoken since my initial post) so they get to bring it when they arrive and see his reaction

Show quote history

Seems a fair compromise but I still don't see why it can't be from them

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 24/12/2023 12:17

At this point we are just going to say that it's from his Nan & grandad instead. Thank you everyone for your advice!

OP posts:
NewShoes · 24/12/2023 12:17

On your mum’s side here. She’ll be excited to give it to him. My son asked for a particular toy from Santa but I know my mum’s got it for him. I’m just going to say that he may well get it from his family and that Santa knows what people have already bought him :-)

Offkilter · 24/12/2023 12:17

They are putting their feelings over their grandchild's Xmas morning. A bike Christmas morning is very special.

My lovely lovely PIL always offered the biggest presents to be from Santa. And when they had a big present from them one year they drive a long way to leave it here after bedtime so DC had it first thing.

I like that Grandad is really Father Christmas.

Hesma · 24/12/2023 12:18

YABU

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