People make an unnecessary fuss about Christmas

[mikado1]

Or maybe I'm not doing it right/doing enough?

I love Christmas and family traditions etc. But I can't quite understand the weeks of 'Are you all set?' and the general angst. Santa presents were organised here in November, decorations went up two weeks ago, ham and turkey ordered weeks ago. Chocs, biscuits, drinks added into weekly shop over the last few weeks. So now it's a case of getting in the fresh stuff and doing a regular weekend house clean. Granted, it's just immediate family here but even so, do people overdo the craziness/overwhelm maybe? I'm not sure what I'm missing. I'm going out for lunch with friends today and others have commented that they can't believe I have the time to do that this weekend. I did spend an hour in town yesterday getting the stocking bits - books, chocolate coins, trinkets etc. In and out with list. Done.

Jolly good for you that you knew what your kids wanted in November and manged to buy everything then.

Some of us have kids who weren't sure what they wanted. And parents who were loathed to buy incase of last minute changed of mind.

Nobody wants Christmas stress along with the other zillion things that need done in a week.

I have a small family so it isn’t too overwhelming. One of my friends married into a family of six children who now have 15 children, partners and a couple of grandchildren. So when it’s her turn to host them all I can understand she feels a bit stressed!

If you’re only hosting for immediate family obviously that is a lot less work than if you’re hosting for a large group of extended family and friends or if you’re having extra people stay for a few days either side etc. Hosting for your DP and DC is obviously not going to be as stressful as hosting for a group of 20 ILs for example! It also probably depends on your personality type and how often you usually host, how often you usually cook etc, for some people Christmas Day is just a fancier version of the Sunday dinner they do for friends and family every week, for others it’s the only time they host all year and the only time they really see family who live on the other side of the country etc. YABU not to understand how other people version of Christmas might be more stressful than your own!

Op you sound v sensible to me (and I mean that as a compliment, not "boring sensible" but as in you've nailed it, as a pp said).

Why are you worried you're not making it magical or special enough? Angst and stressing don't make Christmas special for anyone surely?! Don't waste time comparing yourself to others, just enjoy your family Christmas, I'm sure your dc find it magical and special so ignore everyone else!

It sounds like you have free time to be sorted, and not an overly stressful life. Nothing wrong with that of course, but I think for many that will not be the case.

Always thought it’s over hyped. a humongous fuss over absolutely nothing

if you just host immediately family then it is not much to do

I agree op, add a few bits to food shopping,every week from oct..all the cupboard stuff (mince pies, yule log, Christmas pudding, stuffing mix, cranberry sauce, crackers/crisps/chocolates) then all Christmas dinner food by end of November, yes frozen turkey crown, I know

Christmas dinner food (all frozen) delivered 3-4 weeks ago, fresh Christmas food bought 2 week ago

presents all bought by mid November...I don't wrap presents (I'm disabled so physically can't, can't rush, cant deal with crowds so everything needs to be done in stages when energy and pain allows.

No rush, calm, everything ready so I can relax...

I feel exactly the same as you OP, I order most of my presents online, buy stocking fillers from the supermarket, do one extra food shop, I spend a few hours wrapping, one hour to put the tree up and that’s it.
I also wonder if I’m doing it wrong, I’ve had lots of messages from stressed friends this week which I go along with but I’ve never ever get stressed over Christmas.
I started hosting my divorced DM and DB at the age of 20 (I was a young mum) in my flat and have always took cooking Christmas dinner in my stride.

I don’t think it’s a humble brag. I agree with you, it’s a lot of fuss.

I suppose if you’re hosting a lot of people then it’s more stress but for immediate family I think people overthink things.

How can fresh Christmas food be bought 2 weeks ago?

You'd be bouncing the rolls of the walls they'd be rock 🪨 solid.
Cream would be a tad minging
Any soft fruits would be covered in mould

You'd be bouncing the rolls of the walls they'd be rock 🪨 solid.
Cream would be a tad minging
Any soft fruits would be covered in mould

Maybe the OP buys squirty cream, part baked bread or makes their own.

We have the next week full of hosting various family and friends and visiting. 20 here for Christmas Eve's big traditional dinner, 18 for Christmas Day, 25 for Boxing Day. 10 guests sleeping over. Then the days following we hit the road visiting various friends and family. It's a logistical puzzle and a lot of work and organising to ensure it all runs smoothly and we have everything we need and everyone is prepared for and welcomed.

I was the same about wedding planning. Booked the various things, bought dress etc. Don't get all the 'stress' people talk about.

I am the same as you OP, I don’t get the stress just before going on holiday either that people talk about.

I can easily see why Christmas is overwhelming for some people.
I have guests on Christmas eve evening and am hosting Christmas day. It's a lot of extra pressure.
Extra cooking, extra cleaning, presents to buy (and spend bloody hours wrapping). All of this is on top of normal daily life like the children's activities and full time work for both parents. Life is stressful enough and then along pops Christmas, a day that is supposed to be filled with amazing food, drink and much merriment!!! Unfortunately the elves don't provide that so I have to get off my backside and make it happen.
Just for clarity I don't go around whinging about any of it (maybe to my husband!) but sometimes I do panic that it won't all get done in the time I have to do it!

@Jbrown76 That's great if you have the money to be buying extras each week, and the freezer space. Our freezer space is three shallow drawers which we need for normal weekly food shop.

These kind of threads are getting a bit tiresome.

I have never found Xmas stressful or difficult. We host for ten every other year. But I understand why others find it difficult.

Use your imagination.

I think it depends how laid back / adaptable you are.

One of my friends is presently complaining vociferously at a supermarket on her socials. Apparently the beef and ham joints delivered in her order are too small to feed her family (they look like regular joints from the photos, FYI) and she can't possibly go to the shops herself, of course. She has a family of 5 - she's not feeding the five thousand.

Whereas if it were me, I'd just cook the damn joints, bulk up the vegetables and stuffings, and share the meat out. So what if you don't have as much meat as you want? It won't do you any harm, no-one is going hungry, and you can still have a nice Christmas dinner. And let's face it, if she'd had the big joints there'd just be leftovers anyway.

Everyone has their own way of celebrating Christmas. We’ve gone crazy this time but I’ve had a really difficult year so it’s nice to have a bit of joy to look forward to. Our tree went up a lot earlier this year and we’ve spent more on presents. I’m really looking forward to seeing the children’s faces when they open their presents on Christmas Day. It’s been lovely spending time with them wrapping, making cards and doing Christmassy crafts.

I agree with you OP but don't forget it gets easier with experience. The first few times it will be alot but after a few years you can do it with ease.

Like pretty much everything, it depends on:

finances
if you have a job outside the home/what that job is/how stressful
the number/age of your kids
if you have a partner/a helpful partner/a shit partner
if you are hosting
if you have to travel
if you have personal circumstances that make this time of year particularly difficult
if you have to work over Christmas/in between Christmas and new year.

This is the first year for ages I’ve not felt stressed. 3 kids. SAHM for now. Not travelling anywhere eg to family, and my family are incredibly hard work and it always causes stress. We hosted them and some other family for a few hours a few weeks ago instead. We we hosting just FIL on Boxing Day for a few hours which is not stressful.

Got my Xmas food shop slot months ago and it arrived today with almost nothing missing and nothing important. We live very near lots of shops so easy to pop out and get things. Gifts have been a bit of Black Friday sales, a bit of buying through the year and a couple of last minute buys. Husband does no Christmas prep BUT has worked all last week so that he can take the full ten days off starting today, and is brilliant with the kids, eg taking our toddler out all morning today.

We have a lovely Christmas tree, but I’ve not decorated the house otherwise. We didn’t do loads of ‘Christmas’ events. We are going to a farm we always go to to see Father Christmas tomorrow (Christmas Eve) but otherwise have deliberately scaled back on events. Plenty of time now just to chill, have a nice family time.

I don't like Christmas. I like the time off work (I'm a teacher). I like the time with my dh and dc, who now they are both teenagers are very chilled about the whole thing, we don't have the Santa angst, they don't get up a 4am etc etc.

But the nonsense from the wider family does my absolute head in. The panic starts in September. I long to go away to somewhere warm, where my meals are cooked and all the cleaning done. If it wasn't for the fact dh and the dc like being at home on Christmas I'd sack it all off.

How many people are you buying presents for and delivering to people?
Do you have caring responsibilities?
Working over Christmas?
Hosting for people?
Have people staying for the week?
People all have different experiences of the same event.

Respect to you @TotteringByRosie

What food are you offering to all these guests, out of interest? It sounds exhausting!

I don’t find it overly stressful but:

• we can comfortably afford it
• my kids are good at decision making so no last minute present requests!
• only host immediate family (who aren’t going to judge or cause issues)
• in laws are in another country so no arguments about where to spend christmas
• I’m good at decision making so can just write a list and buy it, no worrying about present buying etc.
• I’m a capable cook so the idea of extra food etc doesn’t stress me out

I can easily see that if any of those factors were different I’d be stressing about it!