Walked out of family Christmas lunch and cancelled plans for Xmas day as felt ignored

[Wensleydales]

Big family lunch today , MIL kept saying how she thought I looked ‘pale’ and ‘unwell’ going on about why I wasn’t drinking etc etc etc. just generally being irritating and critical.

In the end I told her the truth ( I hadn’t wanted to ruin a family event with bad news) that I’d had a MC a couple of weeks ago . When I said she said nothing ?? Started telling me that actually I just hadn’t been eating properly I thought maybe she hadn’t heard ?? So I explained again and she just said nothing then walked off to talk to SIL??

I burst into tears . We left and dh called her when home and she tried to ignore it again - he then asked her what the issue was with her acknowledging it? She proceeded to say women find out too early now (I had told her I was 12 weeks???) and it’s no more than a heavy period and she can’t entertain my attention seeking over that .

Im so upset that we’ve said we are not hosting them on Xmas day now

That last update is a classic 😂They really are prize knobs, aren't they?!

They'll be so butt hurt that their little plan to derail Xmas Day didn't work out.

Well played, OP's DH 👏👏👏

They managed to derail it for themsleves didn't they.

They did, and it's GLORIOUS! 😁

Your DH played it perfectly, well done that man.
They are a prize pair aren't they!!

After a bit of self reflection they'll realise it was a situation entirely of their own making and you'll all be joking about it this time next year
'Remember that time I was a twat, emotionally callous and then twisted the knife on Xmas day - what was I thinking!?' <slaps thighs> <everyone laughs>

Wow only a couple of hours on Christmas Day. That’s almost unbelievable.

Mil spat her dummy out and flounced when ds was born premature and dh refused to go on their annual trip. 9 years of glorious peace we have enjoyed...
Enjoy yours op.

If only....the play book suggests otherwise in my experience. They'll just double down and insist they are soooo hard done by.

People like that are rarely capable of self reflection, sadly. Kudos to them if they are.

It's very sad for @Wensleydales and her DP that they didn't get support from his parents, and instead they made it all about them. I hope you have supportive friends and family otherwise 💐

Does anyone have any links to the MIL playbook? It would be good for me to read up on this behaviour, having been on the receiving end of it myself.

Highly recommend the Stately Homes Threads on the Relationships board. Many useful links on there :)

Absolutely not! (In response to would I call my adult children on Xmas day and expect them to come to hospital).

@Namefleeting my thoughts also... I was being sardonic. 🙃

If they dare try to give you and your dh a hard time for not being sympathetic about her panic attack you can rip them to shreds for thinking a panic attack is worse than a miscarriage

Sorry, been a long day x

I came over all literal which is not like me at all 😂

How are things now @Wensleydales x

Wondering if the inlaws have ever apologised as well, for MIL's treatment of OP at the lunch, post-lunch, and then the likely fake medical emergency where they just wanted OP's husband 'fetched' to attend to his mother.