To think it’s going to look like I’m copying my SiL

[Purplegirly01]

I need some honest advice.

My brother & SIL got engaged a couple of years ago and married this year. I got engaged this year and my wedding is all booked and arranged for next year.

I’d jokingly said to my now fiancé that I expected a bigger engagement ring than my SIL’s - unfortunately he took it literally and got
exactly the same ring, but my centre diamond is quite visibly bigger. My DB and SIL never commented on my ring at all, however I’ve heard through mutual friends that they were both really upset by it. It was embarrassing for me having people comment on how similar they are but I didn’t want to make my fiancé feel awkward about it.

Fast forward to their wedding, and my SIL’s wedding dress is really similar to the one I had already ordered & paid for. I was honestly devastated and could barely hold it together on the day. Everyone kept asking me if I was ok but I obviously couldn’t say what the issue was.

My mum is the only person who has seen my dress and she said it’s fine, no one will remember her dress & compare but I can’t help feeling that I look like a massive copy cat especially with the rings too! I really don’t know what to do - it’s my dream dress but I’m worried I look silly with all the similarities. My SIL and I are not close at all, we are very different people and she’s not really my sort of person and I find her quite formal and uptight which is another reason why I feel so awkward about the dress being so similar.

YABU - you look like you’re copying
YANBU - no one will notice

I would speak to her about it explain you know the rings are similar and you think your df choose it because you had said how beautiful sils ring was.

I would then explain aboutdress and when u ordered it

Me too!

This. Sorry, but I bet your SIL was upset about the ring, let alone the fact that your dress is similar. YABU

@Purplegirly01

Are you coming back. I know you've had a bit of a pasting but have you been reflecting on any of this? Will you change your ring / dress?

I think waiting a month until after someone else’s wedding to choose a dress sounds ridiculous!

and of course OP didn’t purposely choose similar colors.

These are unfortunate coincidences and not the OP’s fault at all. The ring is the husband’s ignorance. If she hadn’t mentioned the size would he have gotten the exact ring still? Suspect yes!

Sorry to many coincidences to not be a copy cat..You have serious problems, leave sil alone and make your own future choices

Could you make small changes like a tiara (no veil) or veil (no tiara)? could you wear a bolero, maybe a different type of bouquet? Or even change the dress completely if there is still time to do that?

Haven't read all of the thread but I get your joke about the ring. Its the kind of joke I might make! People are giving you a hard time over it.

TBH your reaction to the dress is a bit rich after what you guys did over the rings! Change your colour scheme, otherwise this whole thing does look like a massive copy and, if you felt like you did about the dress imagine how she felt about the ring and will feel about everything else!!!

If it wasn’t for the fact that your wedding hasn’t taken place yet, I would think you are my SIL!!

She got a bigger version of my (very distinctive) engagement ring, really similar wedding dress, same colour scheme etc - she even booked the same suppliers as me so same wedding car, same florist, same photographer, same cake maker. People did notice and were commenting to me about it all day - it was really awkward and it did feel like she was trying to out do us to be honest.

I know a few SIL’s who seem to hate their brother’s wife - not sure if it’s a jealousy thing but it’s bloody weird!!