To think I don’t deserve to be called greedy and a thief for this?

[Lolabear38]

My daughter attends a dance class and has done for over 2 years. She loves it and to date we’ve had no problems or issues. It’s a small set up - one lady who owns it and runs the classes.

She held a Christmas party this year, we all paid $15 for our kids to attend which included a meal deal from a fast food restaurant. The restaurant has a loyalty scheme where you collect points for every order and then get money off future orders.

I volunteered to help at the party and was asked to go and collect the food - no problem. As I was leaving I asked the owner of the dance school if she had an account with the restaurant to collect loyalty points and she said, and I quote - ‘No I don’t have one. I never bother with those things.’ When I picked up the food I scanned my own rewards barcode - in retrospect maybe a bit cheeky but I figured as I’d asked already and the owner didn’t have an account, I may as well collect the points myself.

I got back to the party and while I was out the owner had been talking to one of the other mums about the rewards scheme and she decided she did in fact want to be part of it. She asked me for the receipt so she could collect the points later on and I said sorry, I’d actually collected them myself. She immediately got really angry with me, asked how dare I take them from her, she couldn’t believe how greedy I’d been and I was basically a thief! She also told me I should be ashamed of myself. Apparently she didn’t understand how the rewards scheme works and didn’t realise it could her her money off in future and I should have explained this to her?! This was all said in front of a few other parents who were at the party too. I was so taken aback - I think mainly because it was so public - I quickly collected my daughter and left. Now I’m home I’m mortified to have been so publicly shamed for something I didn’t think would be such a big deal. I also don’t know if I feel comfortable taking my daughter back to the classes after being spoken to like that.

I feel like I should message the owner and apologise for taking the points and explain why I didn’t think it would matter - as far as I thought at the time she didn’t want them and it was a ‘waste not, want not’ situation. But at the same time I think her reaction was really inappropriate (in front of so many other people) and also she had clearly said she didn’t even have an account anyway? I’d really appreciate some other perspectives before I send any messages! Thank you

Yep - we have those videos as well!

"Is that her ear? Behind Abanazer's left shoulder?"

"Not sure . . . doesn't she have a bigger lobe than that?"

😂

😂😂😂

One thing that hadn’t been mentioned, which frankly I would be raising to the teacher if you haven’t already replied to her again, OP, is that technically you didn’t take the points.

What I mean is that based on the interaction you have related, you asked if she had an account to put the points on and she said no. Therefore you put them on yours. At no point did you say ‘I am spending these points on myself’ so for all she, the other parents, or even you yourself know (😉), you may very well have just thought it would be such a shame for the points to go to waste so you would putting them on your account to HOLD them until the next party when you would not only be a wonderful human being and volunteer to collect again, but you would then use the points you were KINDLY holding onto in order to obtain some free food for either the kids or as a thank you to the teacher herself for being such a wonderful influence.

But since the teacher jumped to conclusions of bad faith AND called you a thief in front of others, therefore humiliating you, you felt too upset and too ashamed to speak up and explain that you had not yet, and had no intention of spending the points on YOU. As per above narrative. And now you will be withdrawing your child and your support, but you are SO grateful to all the other parents who reached out to console you since they did not jump to the same awful conclusions as the teacher.

😇

I think I would have asked her if she minded if you collected the points ,when asking If she had the scheme. But I still wouldn't feel bad, as she didn't have it ! She's rude and unprofessional calling you out in front of the other parents. She should be ringing you to apologise. I'm surprised the other parents haven't messaged you, to give you some support. Hopefully when you next go to the class she apologises.

Businesses can't collect or use loyalty points or they would become taxable. The only way the dance teacher could have the points is on her own personal account unrelated to the dance school. So the dance teacher collecting the points would be no more morally right than OP who actually went and collected the food 🤷‍♀️

That’s not correct. Lots of business suppliers run loyalty/rewards points schemes and they are not taxable. They are classed as a discount, not income.

I think @happinessischocolate means that businesses can't CLAIM/ COLLECT points offered by other organisations. They would count as business income.

(Apologies if I've misunderstood your post and picked up the wrong end of the stick altogether.)

Yes, I know that’s what happiness means and they are wrong, it is not classed as business income according to both HMRC & our accountant. Only referral bonuses might be.

So the company I work for has an account at a particular suppliers. For every £100 we spend we get points which are then converted into Argos/GoToShop cards. The value of those cards are not classed as business income.

However if the supplier ran a refer a friend scheme with £20 cashback for every referral that could potentially be classed as business income.

Ok - thanks.

Apologies.

Yeah I didn't explain what I was trying to say very well.

I meant the dance school couldn't claim the loyalty points without putting the transaction through the books, and generally non business account loyalty points (nectar, argos, Tesco etc) can be claimed by the employee making the purchase as they aren't a taxable benefit.

So the dance teacher would have put them on her own personal loyalty card which is no better than OP collecting them.

Loyalty points don’t get put through the books.

The dance school owner is likely a sole trader not an employee.

She's horrible. She said no. It's really not a big deal I wouldn't take my child back

She's doubled down with that response, run for the hills and don't look back. Bonus your dd is excited about another school. If any other parents reach out, I'd share your email thread.

Well, fuck her. Tell her you’re certainly not going to see her in January. Tell all the people who messaged you exactly what she’s said. Take your DD to classes not run by a loon.

I’m even more indignant in your behalf OP having read her response.

Who gives a flying fuck about loyalty points on a one off purchase. Utter batshittery.

She sounds like an absolute creature, and I do hope you have replied to her in such a way that she is made to realise how inappropriate her behaviour was.

What did she think loyalty points meant?? She made out she didn't understand what she was missing out on, but really?! She was way over the top! I think there's something else wrong with her and she just took it out on you. If the problem was real and rational, she would have had a word in private with you, not a public explosion! She should be ashamed, not you!

You have done absolutely nothing wrong! The women sounds unhinged!
Don't apologise!
She should be apologising to you!
I would perhaps see if there is another dance club somewhere else

She did nothing wrong. I have done this myself. Dance teachers loss for not joining the scheme.

Ime (my daughters did ballet for 15 years!) this is very Ballet Teacher. I have experienced Ballet Teacher asking me to buy props for the end-of-year show, which I can't even watch as I'm chaperoning other people's children for free, without offering reimbursement (Ballet Teacher then jets off to the Caribbean for extended Christmas break with show takings) ... promising my kids plum parts, then rescinding the offer...making a profit on "ballet school family" Christmas parties...oh and charging about £850 for GCSE dance lessons where no-one got above a Grade 4 (one only got a grade 1!), even the kids with places at Birmingham Royal Ballet/ Elmhurst or the one who got 9s in everything else & went on to dance at Trinity Laban, then asking us to foot the bill to request remarking.

But they're not her points either! Everyone paid for their own food, you went to the effort of collecting it. They're no more her points than they were yours.
I'd pull my daughter out tbh, she's clearly to be avoided

She should apologise to you. You had asked her if she had a rewards card and her reply was "I never bother with them." So you collected the food and the points.
You used your vehicle, your gas, your time and you also paid $15 for towards the party. All to be treated badly over some silly loyalty points. I'd be emailing her asking for an apology not offering one.

You all paid 15 dollars for the meal so what gives her the right to have them anyway?? Technically you all should have got a share of the points!!!

I would be absolutely fuming if I was you and I certainly would not apologise. In fact I'd be ringing her to tear a strip off her as you have done nothing wrong. The woman is nuts and I would not want my child around her!

@Lolabear38 well done on standing up to her! I hope you did use that reply and the addition, because you're entirely right - and she's probably arguing over points worth less than a fiver anyway!
I hope other supported you (not just on here I mean) and I hope your daughter enjoys joining a new dance school. Small town dance teachers can be absolute (insert word of your choice here) in my experience - I'm glad you stood up to her!

Oh @Lolabear38 - the dance teachers reply was terrible! You did the mature thing in getting in contact and addressing it and she sends you that?!
i know I previously said that you should keep your daughter there if she likes the classes, but the teachers reply makes me wonder how she handles disputes between the kids and what behaviours she is demonstrating and teaching them?
if daughter is happy with a different school then go elsewhere. If other parents ask why then I would tell them the truth, and if the other school is better then tell them about it. It sounds like this teacher is not worthy of yours or anyone’s business.