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Original poster

To think I don’t deserve to be called greedy and a thief for this?

600 replies

Lolabear38 · 21/12/2023 03:25

My daughter attends a dance class and has done for over 2 years. She loves it and to date we’ve had no problems or issues. It’s a small set up - one lady who owns it and runs the classes.

She held a Christmas party this year, we all paid $15 for our kids to attend which included a meal deal from a fast food restaurant. The restaurant has a loyalty scheme where you collect points for every order and then get money off future orders.

I volunteered to help at the party and was asked to go and collect the food - no problem. As I was leaving I asked the owner of the dance school if she had an account with the restaurant to collect loyalty points and she said, and I quote - ‘No I don’t have one. I never bother with those things.’ When I picked up the food I scanned my own rewards barcode - in retrospect maybe a bit cheeky but I figured as I’d asked already and the owner didn’t have an account, I may as well collect the points myself.

I got back to the party and while I was out the owner had been talking to one of the other mums about the rewards scheme and she decided she did in fact want to be part of it. She asked me for the receipt so she could collect the points later on and I said sorry, I’d actually collected them myself. She immediately got really angry with me, asked how dare I take them from her, she couldn’t believe how greedy I’d been and I was basically a thief! She also told me I should be ashamed of myself. Apparently she didn’t understand how the rewards scheme works and didn’t realise it could her her money off in future and I should have explained this to her?! This was all said in front of a few other parents who were at the party too. I was so taken aback - I think mainly because it was so public - I quickly collected my daughter and left. Now I’m home I’m mortified to have been so publicly shamed for something I didn’t think would be such a big deal. I also don’t know if I feel comfortable taking my daughter back to the classes after being spoken to like that.

I feel like I should message the owner and apologise for taking the points and explain why I didn’t think it would matter - as far as I thought at the time she didn’t want them and it was a ‘waste not, want not’ situation. But at the same time I think her reaction was really inappropriate (in front of so many other people) and also she had clearly said she didn’t even have an account anyway? I’d really appreciate some other perspectives before I send any messages! Thank you

OP posts:
Goodlard · 22/12/2023 19:47

surreygirl1987 · 22/12/2023 18:04

It's the OP who must apologise. She stole something. Personally, I'd cringe to be in her position. Awful. To have acted in such a way would make me want to hide away in shame. The points were not hers. She put them on her card. That is stealing however small the amount. She needs to apologise. And she will probably need to find a new dance teacher for her DC because that dance teacher is highly unlikely to have that child back and there is also no way back for what the OP has done.

This is utterly ridiculous (are you the dance teacher?)

No, I think she's just 🦇 💩 🤪!

Fussyhousewife1 · 22/12/2023 19:48

I worked in Company that offered loyalty points and they had a rule - the loyalty was only to be given to the customer and no-one else as it was considered theft. I have been in places where a customer offers points earned to person in queue and the operative has accepted that - it was a sackable offence where I worked (yes seriously). If it had been me I would have left the points and not claimed them. Being shamed as you were is unacceptable and I would certainly send an email to that affect also mentioning that it was perfectly acceptable for you to offer your time and fuel so you did not deserve to be "outed" in the way you were.

Noisinmaro · 22/12/2023 19:54

Like whats the big deal.
I often went to boots did a shop forgot my clubard and and gave thw points to my sister to.collect asshe might be with me,so they weren't wasted....
Like the owner didn't even treat the kids....to the food...say she didn't look for the receipt for that purpose would she have been bothered....

Emotionalsupportviper · 22/12/2023 19:55

Fussyhousewife1 · 22/12/2023 19:48

I worked in Company that offered loyalty points and they had a rule - the loyalty was only to be given to the customer and no-one else as it was considered theft. I have been in places where a customer offers points earned to person in queue and the operative has accepted that - it was a sackable offence where I worked (yes seriously). If it had been me I would have left the points and not claimed them. Being shamed as you were is unacceptable and I would certainly send an email to that affect also mentioning that it was perfectly acceptable for you to offer your time and fuel so you did not deserve to be "outed" in the way you were.

The OP was the one collecting and paying for the food - technically she was "the customer".

Islandgirl68 · 22/12/2023 20:03

Nothing wrong with what you did, that is the perk if you are the person picking it up using your own time and fuel. Considering every parent paid their own, they were not the teachers either. If I pick up items for my work etc, I will use a loyalty card to claim points etc. That is the perk for doing it in yiur own time and using your own fuel.

FeeBee73 · 22/12/2023 20:09

You snooze, you lose! What an aggy bitch. She didn't want the points at first so why waste them? I would be thinking twice about having my children at her dance school if that is the way she treats people. Honestly she needs to STFU!

LalaPaloosa · 22/12/2023 20:40

She is pathetic to make the fuss about a few points at a fast food restaurant. She also has no right to publicly shame you. I’d find another place for my daughter to dance.

CandyLeBonBon · 22/12/2023 20:46

Fussyhousewife1 · 22/12/2023 19:48

I worked in Company that offered loyalty points and they had a rule - the loyalty was only to be given to the customer and no-one else as it was considered theft. I have been in places where a customer offers points earned to person in queue and the operative has accepted that - it was a sackable offence where I worked (yes seriously). If it had been me I would have left the points and not claimed them. Being shamed as you were is unacceptable and I would certainly send an email to that affect also mentioning that it was perfectly acceptable for you to offer your time and fuel so you did not deserve to be "outed" in the way you were.

Good job op is not an employee and was in fact, 'the customer' in this scenario then!

Silvercandlesticks · 22/12/2023 21:15

You did nothing wrong op. I can imagine being in your situation, getting there and it occurring to me that I could just take the points, that I at that point believed would otherwise be wasted, umming and arring for a minute and then just putting them on mine as she wasn’t there to consult at that point. When she became rude, however, I would have probably asked her how much I had “stolen”, she would have been unable to answer, I’d have thrown the question out to the other parents in earshot and just handed her over that amount there and then to hi-light how petty and unreasonable she was being. A bit difficult if no one knows the amount though.

mandlerparr · 22/12/2023 21:49

Think of it like this. You saw money on the ground. You asked if the money was hers, and she said no. You asked her if she wanted the money and she said no. She has no right to come back later and not only demand the money, but call you a thief for taking it.
We used to get free coupons thrown into our driveways every week. Every week tons of people would just let those packets full of free money sit there. Every time it was in a driveway, I ignored it. but, whenever I saw one of those in the street, abandoned, run over and it was safe to do so; I would pick it up and use the coupons in it.
She not only abandoned the points, but she also wasn't even entitled to them in the first place as the parents all paid for their own. And since you were the one to go get the food, then you should be allowed to have the points.

Sallywag134 · 22/12/2023 22:07

I really don’t see what her problem is you did nothing wrong. But tell her if it is really that much of a problem you will give her the cash value of these points. Work out their worth…it’ll be pence. She’ll feel quite embarrassed, I’m sure.

GeeEss · 22/12/2023 22:11

She said she couldn’t be bothered! So you really did nothing wrong. She is the one who should apologise for losing it in front of others. I would find another class for my child too as I would resent paying her any more money. Teach her to keep it shut!

Grammarnut · 22/12/2023 22:27

GonksAreNotJustForChristmas · 21/12/2023 18:19

@Grammarnut are the sort of person who asks for 5p change if someone nips to the shop yor you?

I'd expect my change, yes. Why would I not? It might be five pounds, not 5p. But that is not the point and I notice that this has been constantly missed. The OP acted dishonestly by taking points that were not hers. Someone has suggested her mistake was to say she'd taken them rather than saying that since the teacher did not have a points account they could not be claimed later (she possibly did not know this, though if she has a Nectar card, she ought to for you can have your receipt validated and claim later IF you have a nectar card - you can't collect ones you didn't claim because you did not have an account once you have an account). Saying that the points couldn't be retrospectively collected by a new point collector on an old receipt is also dishonest since she had claimed the points. Does no-one think lying is wrong any more?

Grammarnut · 22/12/2023 22:33

mandlerparr · 22/12/2023 21:49

Think of it like this. You saw money on the ground. You asked if the money was hers, and she said no. You asked her if she wanted the money and she said no. She has no right to come back later and not only demand the money, but call you a thief for taking it.
We used to get free coupons thrown into our driveways every week. Every week tons of people would just let those packets full of free money sit there. Every time it was in a driveway, I ignored it. but, whenever I saw one of those in the street, abandoned, run over and it was safe to do so; I would pick it up and use the coupons in it.
She not only abandoned the points, but she also wasn't even entitled to them in the first place as the parents all paid for their own. And since you were the one to go get the food, then you should be allowed to have the points.

It's not like picking up discarded coupons in the street. She did not ask permission to take the points on what was someone else's purchase. That's the point. Lying and taking something by deception are immoral. That's it.

BoredofBlonde · 22/12/2023 23:23

@Grammarnut the only person's whose purchase it definitely WASN'T, was the dance teacher's. If you we are splitting hairs, it was the purchase of all the other parents as it was food they had paid for for their kids.

So do you think the OP should have gone round each parent to check if they minded her taking the points for their kid's food?

RiddlePiddle · 22/12/2023 23:40

Is there also a parents group chat so you can explain yourself there and so nobody that witnessed thinks you’re in the wrong? Because you’re absolutely not and you deserve to have your name cleared.

CandyLeBonBon · 22/12/2023 23:44

Lying and taking something by deception are immoral. That's it.

You're absolutely right @Grammarnut. Which is why the dance teacher is utterly off her head, thinking that she was in any way entitled to anything.

But I suspect most have got the measure of your posts by now!

CandyLeBonBon · 22/12/2023 23:47

@Grammarnut are you also missing the part where the dance teacher said she doesn't have a reward account because she never bothers with that stuff, and only decided she wanted the points AFTER the op had returned, having already organised, driven,and paid?

The teacher didn't have a reward account.

You're aware of that?

Littlemisscatlover · 22/12/2023 23:50

I’ve done this loads of times. If I’ve fetched things for work from Asda I’ve used my rewards card. Why would I not, they don’t have a rewards card so they would just go to waste. Plus I’ve used my time to go and fetch the stuff.
Pay no mind, she didn’t even know about the points until she was told.

changeme4this · 22/12/2023 23:59

I would have collected the points as you did but I would have stood my ground when confronted and made it known I had asked her before doing so.

I wouldn’t have thought they could be collected retrospectively anyhow…

Swishswish26 · 23/12/2023 00:34

@Grammarnut is definitely the dance teacher! Op you have literally hundreds of supportive comments, you have done nothing wrong. The dance teacher is unhinged!

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 23/12/2023 00:58

Icouldbehappy · 21/12/2023 03:43

I’d have collected the points. You used your car and time to go and collect the food.
Tell her to fuck off.
She had her chance.

100% this!

mandlerparr · 23/12/2023 01:49

Grammarnut · 22/12/2023 22:33

It's not like picking up discarded coupons in the street. She did not ask permission to take the points on what was someone else's purchase. That's the point. Lying and taking something by deception are immoral. That's it.

Show quote history

point to where that happened? If any of them gave a shit about the points, they would have offered to go.

wonderwomaninaus · 23/12/2023 04:47

Very petty, she needs to get a life!

Pluviophile1 · 23/12/2023 07:08

CandyLeBonBon · 22/12/2023 23:44

Lying and taking something by deception are immoral. That's it.

You're absolutely right @Grammarnut. Which is why the dance teacher is utterly off her head, thinking that she was in any way entitled to anything.

But I suspect most have got the measure of your posts by now!

I am also missing the part where OP lied and was deceitful.

She offered the teacher the points before she collected the food. She didn't lie when the teacher spoke to her about the points after the purchase. I can't see any lies or deceit from the OP here.

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