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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Brianna Ghey.

263 replies

girlfriend44 · 20/12/2023 18:18

Two teenagers found guilty today of murdering Brianna last Feb.

The murder was plotted on their phones. Discussed between them. The girl had a note in her bedroom found on the floor, of the murderous Plan.

The girl had downloaded the dark Web on her phone and was watching violence and gore and was obsessed with serial killers.

Where are the parents in all of this?
They just seemed to have no idea of what their teens are up to and what they are watching?

Parents are paying for the phone, no doubt, shouldn't they take more interest.

What started out as buying a little payg phone so you could contact your child on the way to and from school has gone way too far.

It's horrible out there what's going on?

Rip Brianna. We have a real problem that people are being evil so young,

Also shied been expelled from previous school lovely young lady.
She came to Briannas school and identified her as vulnerable, makes you wonder if there should be more safeguarding too?

If your expelled from school, why should another school want you. In this case it proved fatal.

OP posts:
Naptrappedmummy · 20/12/2023 18:20

There have always been evil young people, sadly it’s a fringe of human behaviour that is usually only exposed when they kill somebody. Let’s not blame the parents. May Brianna rest in peace.

Original poster
girlfriend44 · 20/12/2023 18:23

Parents surely need to show some interest though?

They bought the phones. It dosent look likely this would have happened if they hadn't been able to message. The whole plan was decided by message it seems.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 20/12/2023 18:23

People committing evil acts, even at a young age isn’t a new thing. It’s awful but it’s not new.

what they have done is awful and they have rightly been found guilty but we don’t know anything of the bigger picture as to how it got to this point and so we shouldn’t point fingers.

XmasPartyhat · 20/12/2023 18:23

There were plenty of children murdering other children before the days of mobile phones. In my day, video nasties were blamed for facilitating it.

strawberryjeans · 20/12/2023 18:24

Poor, poor girl

Naptrappedmummy · 20/12/2023 18:25

girlfriend44 · 20/12/2023 18:23

Parents surely need to show some interest though?

They bought the phones. It dosent look likely this would have happened if they hadn't been able to message. The whole plan was decided by message it seems.

So buy them a phone but ban them from using messenger? Is that even possible?

SausageChopsBellyFlops · 20/12/2023 18:26

Let's not blame the parents here, when you have teens that age you don't check every message and website. You're building them up towards living independently.

There have always been kids who do evil things, this isn't a new thing.

I have nothing but sympathy for the 3 families who have been ripped apart.

Naptrappedmummy · 20/12/2023 18:26

XmasPartyhat · 20/12/2023 18:23

There were plenty of children murdering other children before the days of mobile phones. In my day, video nasties were blamed for facilitating it.

Remember the school shootings in the 90s and early 2000s, they blamed video games and Marilyn Manson if I remember rightly

Sirzy · 20/12/2023 18:26

girlfriend44 · 20/12/2023 18:23

Parents surely need to show some interest though?

They bought the phones. It dosent look likely this would have happened if they hadn't been able to message. The whole plan was decided by message it seems.

So you really think they would have lived trouble free lives if it hadn’t been for them having a phone? Very over simplified view!

Original poster
girlfriend44 · 20/12/2023 18:27

How the he'll did she even know how to download the dark Web and why did she want too?

OP posts:
Mexicansky · 20/12/2023 18:28

Did you see Brianna's mum make a statement outside the court?
She asked for empathy to be shown towards the parents of the young defendants. They have lost a child too was how she put it.

She came across as very dignified - I have the upmost respect for her.

bellac11 · 20/12/2023 18:29

If you dare suggest on any of these threads that kids shouldnt have open access to the internet/smart phones you'll be shot down

But they are being exposed to such harm, horror, violence, warped views etc, whether by another child showing them, send it to them, them seeking it out themselves

The two children may well have had various needs of their own, that is very likely, they may well have had an attraction to criminality, violence, thrill seeking, if you combine that with whatever disorders they had which affects how they see the world and combine that with whatever their experiences were at home, the whole thing makes a horrible propsensity for them seeking out someone - anyone - to harm.

TheShellBeach · 20/12/2023 18:29

I'm very sad for Brianna.
It was a truly dreadful thing to happen.

Almondmum · 20/12/2023 18:29

I think it's crazy to suggest that this could have been prevented if the parents were monitoring their phone use. Their behaviour was way way out of the bounds of normal teen behaviour. There's clearly way more going on than any of us could possibly know - whether that's a difficult home life or some sort of mental illness or just plain old being a psychopath

LenaLamont · 20/12/2023 18:29

If your [sic] expelled from school, why should another school want you

Because children have a legal right to an education. Even the horrible ones.

WhatsInStoreFor2024 · 20/12/2023 18:29

girlfriend44 · 20/12/2023 18:23

Parents surely need to show some interest though?

They bought the phones. It dosent look likely this would have happened if they hadn't been able to message. The whole plan was decided by message it seems.

I work in a custodial position and I can promise you there are many young people in custody with loving parents!

Just like you and me and most on this thread

Knife crime is rife. One thing we as parents can do is change our kitchen knives to a square tip

Weird I know, but removes the 'impulse' which young people are renowned for

DidiAskYouThough · 20/12/2023 18:31

There’s a better thread about this: (by ‘better’ I mean intelligently written and links etc.)
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womensrights/4967164-guilty-verdict-in-brianna-ghey-case

SausageChopsBellyFlops · 20/12/2023 18:32

The dark Web is piss easy to get on, it doesn't require a load of specialist knowledge and equipment.

PonyPatter44 · 20/12/2023 18:32

Who knows whether she really did go on the dark web or not? From what they said in court, Girl X talked epic amount of shit, and half the things that came out of her mouth were lies (same for the boy).

I've just looked at my Sky EPG. From 8pm onwards, I can watch programmes about gruesome murders back to back. Those kids grew up on a diet of serial killer fetishism and were both broken enough to actually act on their nasty little fantasies instead of just talking about them.

RIP Brianna.

dottypotter · 20/12/2023 18:32

Sirzy · 20/12/2023 18:23

People committing evil acts, even at a young age isn’t a new thing. It’s awful but it’s not new.

what they have done is awful and they have rightly been found guilty but we don’t know anything of the bigger picture as to how it got to this point and so we shouldn’t point fingers.

That is no comfort for Briannas family is it,that we shouldn't point fingers. Bit Namby Pamby.

Agree, the girl had been expelled for doing something to another pupil at her previous school. Why was she allowed just to move schools with no risk assessment done?

All stinks as usual.

Original poster
girlfriend44 · 20/12/2023 18:35

Mexicansky · 20/12/2023 18:28

Did you see Brianna's mum make a statement outside the court?
She asked for empathy to be shown towards the parents of the young defendants. They have lost a child too was how she put it.

She came across as very dignified - I have the upmost respect for her.

Did they not fear their parents finding out what they've done?

Remember when you didn't step out of line because you were afraid of getting into trouble with your parents?

OP posts:
Original poster
girlfriend44 · 20/12/2023 18:37

bellac11 · 20/12/2023 18:29

If you dare suggest on any of these threads that kids shouldnt have open access to the internet/smart phones you'll be shot down

But they are being exposed to such harm, horror, violence, warped views etc, whether by another child showing them, send it to them, them seeking it out themselves

The two children may well have had various needs of their own, that is very likely, they may well have had an attraction to criminality, violence, thrill seeking, if you combine that with whatever disorders they had which affects how they see the world and combine that with whatever their experiences were at home, the whole thing makes a horrible propsensity for them seeking out someone - anyone - to harm.

Exactly she sorted out the dark Web for herself says it all?

OP posts:
WhatsInStoreFor2024 · 20/12/2023 18:37

Stop trying to blame parents!

Naptrappedmummy · 20/12/2023 18:37

girlfriend44 · 20/12/2023 18:35

Did they not fear their parents finding out what they've done?

Remember when you didn't step out of line because you were afraid of getting into trouble with your parents?

Show quote history

OP, they’re (probable) psychopaths. Psychopaths think they won’t get caught, and think if they do they will persuade people to feel sympathy towards them. You’re putting them in the same group as gang members and petty criminals, kids who can be deterred from bad behaviour using techniques for normal people. They’re not normal people.

Neriah · 20/12/2023 18:39

WhatsInStoreFor2024 · 20/12/2023 18:29

I work in a custodial position and I can promise you there are many young people in custody with loving parents!

Just like you and me and most on this thread

Knife crime is rife. One thing we as parents can do is change our kitchen knives to a square tip

Weird I know, but removes the 'impulse' which young people are renowned for

Show quote history

Jesus Christ! I'm not into the blame culture but if
young people have an impulse for pointed knives, we are in a shit load more problems than I thought. When did this impulse come about?