Can someone unpick this text for me from woman I'm seeing?

[kyletile]

I've been in a relationship with someone for the past 5 months. It is going much slower than she would like, I am aware of that. This is due to my work, and when I have my children. She has said that I am 'emotionally closed off' and don't arrange dates often. I would agree with her on this but it is who I am and at 5 months in it's how I feel comfortable at the moment. This morning I woke up to this text and haven't yet responded as to be honest, I'm not really sure what she wants from it. Is it a break up text? Is it an ultimatum? Anyone any idea?

'Hey, I’m been having a think and I feel you are emotionally unavailable at the moment. This has been playing on my mind quite a bit and I don’t feel emotionally you can give me what I need at the moment due to this. I feel I have been making a lot of effort, trying to arrange to see you, expressing my feelings, trying to have open conversations with you and I am being met with a lack of enthusiasm, a lack of interest and an overall aloofness that leaves me feeling discontented.

Therefore, I’ve decided that I’m going to pull back and live my life. I will leave the door open, however, I’m no longer interested in texting everyday or expending my energy, if we’re not moving forward in some way. Ie, you arranging dates frequently and for a change/getting to know me on a deeper level. You said you noticed I hadn’t been as sexual, and I need emotional closeness with someone for my sexual desire to be kept ignited. It can’t possibly survive on dick pics and sexts with no depth or closeness to the person I am sharing with. I’m going to continue living my life, I’m going to start dating others again and I’m going to step away from, what feels to me, to be a toxic situation.

I’m not sure if this is how you are in general, or if it’s just with me. As much as I hope you can work through your emotional blocks and allow yourself to be vulnerable, I’m not asking you to apologise or change yourself. However, should this be a temporary state of mind then as I’ve said, I’ve left the door open for now if you wish to reach out. If not, then I wish you the best.'

I'm not sure what she wants from me. I tell her I'm interested and have feelings for her, but she says she doesn't feel it. She wants dates arranged within a few days of our last and I'm quite happy to wait.

Re: Dick pics

We're grown adults in a sexual relationship so...yes. They are reciprocal.

@kyletile Here as in important piece of life advice for you.

No woman wants to receive a picture of a penis. Here is why. Think of how you feel when you see a photograph of a pair of nice tits - any tits - generic porn tits- probably aroused and turned on right?maybe want to look closer? if you are in the right kind of mood, take it a bit further watch a bit of porn and have awank?

Woman do NOT have that kind of reaction to photographs of penises. They are not erotic or a turn on for woman as a generic image.

Photographs of penises of any kind, errect or flacid, are not by themselves erotic to women. Penises unlike breasts are not aesthetically pleasing or erotic.

That isn't to say that some women might not get turned on watching porn or in the moment with their live partner be hugely turned on by a real life errect penis attached to the man they love.

But a photo? sent electronically? Absolutely not.*

*as with all things there will be exceptions in tiny amounts, you can always find an exception, but it doesn't prove that the majority subscribe to the basic rule.

PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE: DO NOT SEND PICTURES OF YOUR PENIS TO WOMEN. THEY DO NOT LIKE IT.

Ah, where's the OP? Willie ever return to us?

😂

We can’t dick-tate to him, @DriftingDora.

@DriftingDora Willie ever return to us?
@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius We can’t dick-tate to him,

The thing with penis puns is that is a vas deferens between those who find them funny and those who don't.

OP isn't coming back is he 😂

It must be hard for him @lostonmars

She has very clearly told you what she wants from you.

She is a wonderful communicator.

You two are wildly incompatible.

I am cackling 😂

Never mind OP- if she won't shag you any more, maybe you can still be Frens?

There aren’t enough vas deferens jokes in the world.

Er? And we need to have 'vas deferens' clearly explained. Whatever it is, can I have three of them? (edited to say only joking, no explanation needed).

She's very clear in the message. She wants you to arrange more dates and be more interested in spending time getting to know each other. More emotional commitment.

If you don't want more that's fine, let her know and she can move on. If you do tell her and then back your word with actions.

The OP's probably feeling crotchety.

@DriftingDora - The vas deferens is a long, muscular tube that travels from the epididymis into the pelvic cavity, just behind the urinary bladder. The vas deferens transports mature sperm to the urethra in preparation for ejaculation.

It sounds like vast difference - hence the joke.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius I think @DriftingDora understood my vas deferens joke! see her edit.

I'm an idiot - sorry, @DriftingDora and @howandwhyyy!

No worries, SDT - this thread has been hilarious, big thanks to everyone for making me laugh so much! You cheeky lot almost brought a blush to my cheek with some of your naughty comments, (and me such an innocent soul....)

I had a relationship like this minus the dick pics ☠️ and I wish ai had the balls at the time to send a long winded well thought out email like that

5 months into a relationship and she’s looking for reassurance it’s going somewhere and she’s not wasting her time. She’s probably wanting nice dinners, weekend breaks, romantic nights out and you’re saying ‘nah can’t do that love but here’s another photo of my cock’

As I said before and others have said, if you base your relationship mostly around sex then it won’t end well. People can fool themselves into thinking it’ll be ok but on the whole in my and others experiences it ends in tears, usually when one or the other is bored of the sex. I’ve had the romantic dinners, weekends away too but have always known it’s been more sex based or maybe I’ve been using them and vice versa so it’s all a bit hollow. I’ve also had the future faking and done the same back.

You are dumped. It's over. You're toast. It's finished. Can you read between the lines.

Yeah, basically this. After the 3rd or 4th dick pic it all gets tediously boring if that's all you're bringing to the table.

I'm not surprised she's dumped you!