Can someone unpick this text for me from woman I'm seeing?

[kyletile]

I've been in a relationship with someone for the past 5 months. It is going much slower than she would like, I am aware of that. This is due to my work, and when I have my children. She has said that I am 'emotionally closed off' and don't arrange dates often. I would agree with her on this but it is who I am and at 5 months in it's how I feel comfortable at the moment. This morning I woke up to this text and haven't yet responded as to be honest, I'm not really sure what she wants from it. Is it a break up text? Is it an ultimatum? Anyone any idea?

'Hey, I’m been having a think and I feel you are emotionally unavailable at the moment. This has been playing on my mind quite a bit and I don’t feel emotionally you can give me what I need at the moment due to this. I feel I have been making a lot of effort, trying to arrange to see you, expressing my feelings, trying to have open conversations with you and I am being met with a lack of enthusiasm, a lack of interest and an overall aloofness that leaves me feeling discontented.

Therefore, I’ve decided that I’m going to pull back and live my life. I will leave the door open, however, I’m no longer interested in texting everyday or expending my energy, if we’re not moving forward in some way. Ie, you arranging dates frequently and for a change/getting to know me on a deeper level. You said you noticed I hadn’t been as sexual, and I need emotional closeness with someone for my sexual desire to be kept ignited. It can’t possibly survive on dick pics and sexts with no depth or closeness to the person I am sharing with. I’m going to continue living my life, I’m going to start dating others again and I’m going to step away from, what feels to me, to be a toxic situation.

I’m not sure if this is how you are in general, or if it’s just with me. As much as I hope you can work through your emotional blocks and allow yourself to be vulnerable, I’m not asking you to apologise or change yourself. However, should this be a temporary state of mind then as I’ve said, I’ve left the door open for now if you wish to reach out. If not, then I wish you the best.'

I'm not sure what she wants from me. I tell her I'm interested and have feelings for her, but she says she doesn't feel it. She wants dates arranged within a few days of our last and I'm quite happy to wait.

It’s still yuk.

Sounds like you don't deserve this woman. Good on her for knowing her worth and getting out.

Oh, this poor woman. She sounds absolutely lovely. But you sound like you have the emotional depth of a puddle. Even your complete lack of interaction on this thread : you asked for women's opinions, and you got hundreds of women giving you their take - and you lasted 9 minutes before disengaging.

AND - you haven't replied to her heartfelt text! How heartbreaking for her.

I cannot believe that you even need this text unpicking. It's crystal clear! The fact that you don't get it is very revealing, and says so much about your lack of emotional maturity.

When I met my DH, he was invested in us, as a couple, from day 1. Asked me to be exclusive on date 2. He couldn't get enough of me. We are still together 15 years on, and he is STILL the same.

Do you even want a long term girlfriend/wife?

Anyway, in fairness to you, she isn't the woman for you. If she was, you'd be locking her in before any other bloke could beat you to it.

She wants more closeness and intimacy (emotional and physical) in a relationship and you aren't providing it.. so she's moving on until you're willing to step up and put the effort in.

Even your complete lack of interaction on this thread : you asked for women's opinions, and you got hundreds of women giving you their take - and you lasted 9 minutes before disengaging.

Exactly. This woman has had a lucky escape and I hope she goes on to find a wonderful man. OP seems utterly baffled why she's not jumping for joy at receiving the odd dick pic and sexts now and then. As if she should be over the moon at this wondrous, generous gift that has been bestowed upon her. How needy of her to expect more out of an "adult" relationship than a few pathetic photos of his willy. 😂

This.

With dick pics, not arranging dates, hercdoingvtge chasing, she probably feels like you treatvher like a shag buddy and she wants a relationship after 5 months of just dick pics and shags. Real emotion?

What is it with men and dick pics? There is nothing wrong with sending sexy photos and they can be great if you really like the person but I don't understand why men seem to think photos of their dick are likely to make any woman instantly faint with lust.

They are rarely that impressive and men act as if women get a photo of their dick and literally can't control themselves or as if it's what we've been yearning for all these years. They aren't that amazing (every guy has one), and they're decidedly garbage if that is ALL you bring to the dating table. I mean, come on, put some bloody effort in- taking a photo of your dick hardly shows originality, talent, or charm does it? Its all a bit juvenile if that's the only way you can express interest to a woman.

It's hardly cryptic.

What part of her message dont you understand?

Women around the world who want dick pics... the number may run into double digits.

I think someone just wanted to light the tough paper and watch.
Threads like this are useful for others I think as they have so much insight in them that they will always help someone.
But I don't see the point in still addressing the op. Hairy handed or not, they're gone.

You sound like you want a relationship completely on your terms. You expect as much sex as you want (her message insinuates you can be a bit of a sex pest and are already hassling her about it), you want dates on your terms, you want communication on your terms, and you want her to accept that ‘emotionally unavailable’ is just how you are.

It might just be best to remain single!

🤣🤣 maybe some men believe the porn crap they watch? Dick pic sent, woman overcome with lust ready for them, takee me, take me, blah blah blah... 🤢 in the real world though ...🤮

Dick pics aside (do you respond immediately to any sexting pics she sends?? Just wondering) it sounds as if you are just at different speeds.

IMO you are right to proceed at a speed that suits your commitment to your kids, and needs of work. It sounds as if she wants to move deeper faster. Also not wrong if it is what she is looking for.

Be open and honest, tell her everything about how you feel, the good and your own needs.

“AND - you haven't replied to her heartfelt text! How heartbreaking for her.”

It’s really sad, but it’s actually a brilliant example of why you should never send an essay like this when someone is treating you like this. Why expose yourself more? They don’t give a shit or see the problem. OP is a great example.

’not working for me, we are different, goodbye’ or block and delete is the best thing to do if you still have hankering feelings and can’t be trusted to text them again.

she’s an utter mug to leave the door open to this loser. I don’t think her text is amazing or demonstrates a confident woman at all. It’s just sad. She’s clearly hoping he does a 180 when she should be telling him to fuck off.

I'm so surprised people think this is a great message. It's fairly pathetic, IMO, begging for a reaction from the OP, not dumping him at all! Leaving the door open...It's nothing but drama and flouncing off in the hope he'll chase. A dumping text would be along the lines of:

I've decided to call it a day, it's obvious to me that we have different expectations and want different things from a relationship.

I think it’s more that it’s eloquent and direct compared to what appears to be the OP’s style of communication via grunting and taking photos of his penis.

Maybe he uses dick picks as semaphore.

Erect= get your knickers off, I’ll be over in 15
Flaccid= not feeling it, bye.
Semi-erect=do the ‘pick me’ dance

I think it’s more that it’s eloquent and direct compared to what appears to be the OP’s style of communication via grunting and taking photos of his penis.

I didn't think it was at all eloquent. It was, rambling and self indulgent! Not that dick pics are eloquent either!

You sound cold. I've been "in" love, their voice gave me butterflies, texting all day, weak at the knees etc. whilst it seems you are not dissatisfied, you are not in love and are happy to string her along for the sex. Where is she on your list of priorities? Third place? Fourth?

Let me lay it on the line for you OP.

You aren't in the right place for a relationship and she can see that so she's exited. Don't blame her, you're not compatible. She's given you a full explanation of why so you can't possibly be confused - she wants, and deserves, more from an adult relationship than you can give. Its that simple. Thanks but no thanks. Let it go.

She sounds like a boundary Queen 👸
Good for her.

Love this😂

I too am amazed by the greatness men bestow on photos of their willies. It's like they see it as the 8th wonder of the world- as majestic as the hanging gardens of Babylon or the pyramids.

It's usually some semi flaccid cocktail sausage with sagging hairy balls taken awkwardly in their bathroom where you can see their open toilet in the background and their toothpaste stained mirror. Hardly something women are going to combust with desire over just by looking at it. Its certainly a very tedious and uninspired way of trying to keep women interested when you simply can't be arsed to actually put the effort in of actually getting to know the person and taking them out to interesting places.

Yet again, another man with an ego the size of America who cannot understand why his stupid dick photos aren't enough to keep a woman gagging to see him again and probably is probably complaining to all his mates how women are 'so hard to understand". So depressingly predictable and pathetic.

Or “that looks just like a willy, only much smaller!l

😂😂😂

only much much much smaller