Can someone unpick this text for me from woman I'm seeing?

[kyletile]

I've been in a relationship with someone for the past 5 months. It is going much slower than she would like, I am aware of that. This is due to my work, and when I have my children. She has said that I am 'emotionally closed off' and don't arrange dates often. I would agree with her on this but it is who I am and at 5 months in it's how I feel comfortable at the moment. This morning I woke up to this text and haven't yet responded as to be honest, I'm not really sure what she wants from it. Is it a break up text? Is it an ultimatum? Anyone any idea?

'Hey, I’m been having a think and I feel you are emotionally unavailable at the moment. This has been playing on my mind quite a bit and I don’t feel emotionally you can give me what I need at the moment due to this. I feel I have been making a lot of effort, trying to arrange to see you, expressing my feelings, trying to have open conversations with you and I am being met with a lack of enthusiasm, a lack of interest and an overall aloofness that leaves me feeling discontented.

Therefore, I’ve decided that I’m going to pull back and live my life. I will leave the door open, however, I’m no longer interested in texting everyday or expending my energy, if we’re not moving forward in some way. Ie, you arranging dates frequently and for a change/getting to know me on a deeper level. You said you noticed I hadn’t been as sexual, and I need emotional closeness with someone for my sexual desire to be kept ignited. It can’t possibly survive on dick pics and sexts with no depth or closeness to the person I am sharing with. I’m going to continue living my life, I’m going to start dating others again and I’m going to step away from, what feels to me, to be a toxic situation.

I’m not sure if this is how you are in general, or if it’s just with me. As much as I hope you can work through your emotional blocks and allow yourself to be vulnerable, I’m not asking you to apologise or change yourself. However, should this be a temporary state of mind then as I’ve said, I’ve left the door open for now if you wish to reach out. If not, then I wish you the best.'

I'm not sure what she wants from me. I tell her I'm interested and have feelings for her, but she says she doesn't feel it. She wants dates arranged within a few days of our last and I'm quite happy to wait.

But lots of women post details of the texts/letters/emails they have received from their partners on here

This is either a joke or you're literally one of the worst people to date on the planet, OP. Good on her.

The OP said she sends him nude pics also

I’d say she had given you 5 months so she likes you but she has decided you don’t feel the same.
It’s all one sided and she what’s more . If you can’t show her at the start then when will / would you.
Relationships are two sided .

She is saying she is fed up waiting around

I want to clap for this woman! Bravo on being clear about what you want and communicating it in a clear and mature way and for having the self confidence to step away from a. Situation that doesn’t work for her.

meanwhile OP, how exactly are you showing her you are into her. Beyond saying you are. Actions are important too. What do you do other than send d.pics

😂😂 brilliant reply

She wants more than you can give, so let her go

Don't say it. Show it. She's told you exactly what she needs in a relationship and it's actions that prove you want to be with her and know her. Arrange dates. Talk to her. Make an effort to do things shes said she likes.

If that's not who you are, then you're not compatible and she's told you she's happy to look for someone she is compatible with instead of begging you to change who you are.

It's up to you. If you want her, show her. Words are cheap.

Actions speak louder than works. You can say your into her all you like, but you need to show her.
It's quite concerning that you need help to unpick that very clear and direct message from her.

Yes this. Such a puzzle. Woman says clearly what she wants and what the problem is.

Man thinks it is such a mystery he has to ask for other women to unpick it.

I mean. really?

She could not be clearer.

Your 'confusion' is mystifying.

I would leave her on read OP. That way she can find someone with a bit of pep.

OP isn’t coming back. He thought he’d ask a bunch of service humans (women) what they thought, since women exist to help men it. and then decided to ignore them and not bother to respond or thank them. Fairly typical of men like you, OP. Women falling over themselves to respond to you and you just cba to read or reply. That tells you everything you need to know about why you think women are mysterious.

Big tip OP. Just listen to what women are saying. That’s all you need to know.

he's soliciting methinks. Seen a similar post where ladies started saying this works for me- I'll DM you. OP is not quite as successful though.

OP, you should be arrested for sending those pics.
What is it with people, that they think others want to see that ?

She seems perfectly clear in her message. She wants and needs more. I, too, wouldn't be happy if the person I was in a relationship with didn't want to see me more than once a week after five months. With kids it's hard of course, but she feels like you're not putting in the effort. You say you are, but you also said you're happy to wait in between dates.

She obviously likes you, hence the leaving her door open thing, but she feels like she's being strung along.

That's a very formally written text! Does she work in a professional environment by any chance?!

You are basically just after a casual shag

She want an actual relationship

There, that better?

Good for her. She has told you why she is pulling away. My now H was somewhat like this initially and I explained to him why it is not good enough to say bye at the end of a date and walk off. In his mind he knew he was going to see me again and didn't need to confirm it then and there. That didn't work for me as I had a busy life and needed to know plans even if it was just a tentative "let's plan something for Wednesday". She doesn't feel like Plan A to you - she feels like a back up or Plan B!

Does any woman honestly want a photo of a penis ? I fortunately ended my dating days before this became a thing, but if I am being honest a photo of the offending article wouldn't have given me the fanny gallops, more a 'oh well done for it being in focus' or a 'has it grown' if I was feeling generous !

She's incredible and very clear. She wants more. A real actual relationship. You want sex.
Presumably your partnership with your kids mother broke down for similar reasons.
Dick pics are fine if you live together you both like it she's asked to see it. But this is not the case here I don't think.
Why would you share her text on a women's forum? Is this real? It's such a betrayal.
End it with this woman she's worth so much more.

The whole thing reads as though GPT has met GPT.

A colleague sent the infamous Father Ted quote as a reply to an unsolicited dick pic 'small, far away ?'

She sounds as though she has had enough of you being rubbish, so is setting you free to find someone else to put up with photo's of your nethers and little else of note.

I just bumped into OP in the pub and he asked me to pass the following messages on:

To my (ex) girlfriend
I was mystified and puzzled by your text. I have heard so much about how complicated women are and how difficult they find it to speak directly (they suffer from low self esteem and find it hard to express themselves directly poor things). But the ladies on MN suggested that I read your text exactly as it is. When I read the actual words you wrote and imagined you were a rational adult just like me, then I was able to understand. So, apparently women in RL want to have relationships with real connection rather than swapping dick picks and having occasional meet ups with lots of alcohol and sex? Wow! I Find that hard to take in. Women in porn and the women my mates talk about when we are in the pub are like walking and talking sex dolls. They aren’t like adult humans. You don’t have to get to know them. When you aren’t with them they don’t really exist. You can get on with your normal man life ie working, wanking and seeing mates. I can see now that you are an actual human with needs and a personality. This is a revelation to me and I may need some time to take it in

To the ladies of MN
My mum, sister, female colleagues and ex girlfriends love to help me (do my laundry, add my name to Christmas cards etc) so naturally when I heard about a forum for ladies who chatted I assumed you would be very happy to help me out with advice. I am far, far too busy to respond or to thank you for engaging with me. I have porn to watch and friends to drink with. Besides which, apart from the fact that you ladies are naturally caring, you don’t have very much to do in your lives, do you? After you have done the cleaning, shopping, childcare and gone to work what else do you have to do? I expect you are quite glad to take the time to help me out amidst your full routines. And perhaps you actually find it quite exciting to deal with a virile young man like me? Anyway, I really don’t need to thank you for taking the time to respond. As ladies it’s your job to rush to help me isn’t it. And you understand that my life is full of very important things which means I can’t possibly respond and discuss things with you. So, I will leave you to witter on like a bunch of silly birds.

mm wonder why I am single and lonely? A total mystery.

A colleague sent the infamous Father Ted quote as a reply to an unsolicited dick pic 'small, far away ?'

haha! I also like to respond "aww its so small and cute!"

She sounds like hard work and you have dodged a bullet.

You are quite right to take things slowly and put your children and work first.

She was sta to be with someone who doesn't have any baggage which she will probably find is going to be difficult.