Can someone unpick this text for me from woman I'm seeing?

[kyletile]

I've been in a relationship with someone for the past 5 months. It is going much slower than she would like, I am aware of that. This is due to my work, and when I have my children. She has said that I am 'emotionally closed off' and don't arrange dates often. I would agree with her on this but it is who I am and at 5 months in it's how I feel comfortable at the moment. This morning I woke up to this text and haven't yet responded as to be honest, I'm not really sure what she wants from it. Is it a break up text? Is it an ultimatum? Anyone any idea?

'Hey, I’m been having a think and I feel you are emotionally unavailable at the moment. This has been playing on my mind quite a bit and I don’t feel emotionally you can give me what I need at the moment due to this. I feel I have been making a lot of effort, trying to arrange to see you, expressing my feelings, trying to have open conversations with you and I am being met with a lack of enthusiasm, a lack of interest and an overall aloofness that leaves me feeling discontented.

Therefore, I’ve decided that I’m going to pull back and live my life. I will leave the door open, however, I’m no longer interested in texting everyday or expending my energy, if we’re not moving forward in some way. Ie, you arranging dates frequently and for a change/getting to know me on a deeper level. You said you noticed I hadn’t been as sexual, and I need emotional closeness with someone for my sexual desire to be kept ignited. It can’t possibly survive on dick pics and sexts with no depth or closeness to the person I am sharing with. I’m going to continue living my life, I’m going to start dating others again and I’m going to step away from, what feels to me, to be a toxic situation.

I’m not sure if this is how you are in general, or if it’s just with me. As much as I hope you can work through your emotional blocks and allow yourself to be vulnerable, I’m not asking you to apologise or change yourself. However, should this be a temporary state of mind then as I’ve said, I’ve left the door open for now if you wish to reach out. If not, then I wish you the best.'

I'm not sure what she wants from me. I tell her I'm interested and have feelings for her, but she says she doesn't feel it. She wants dates arranged within a few days of our last and I'm quite happy to wait.

I have never received nor sent photos of genitals, nor indeed any unclothed photos, and if anyone either sent them to me or requested them from me, I would cease all contact immediately. Utterly repulsive. Your penis is not as nice as you think it is, and what you might do with it will never be explained in a photo. Just vile.

Ha! Thanks, but dic pics aren't my cup of tea. I haven't got a phone anyway, so I'd have to find a man who would be willing to take a photo of his prick then go to Boots and wait for a week to get the pictures developed before putting them in an envelope and finding a stamp and a post box to send them to me. I doubt that even the keenest dick-picker could be arsed with that.

This. You can say a million perfect things but no action. I was seeing someone just like this and cut it off. I was not interested in being someone's texting relationship. You are a time waster. I think maybe online no strings attached might be a better option for you.

This seems to happen often with men ostensibly asking for advice, they tap out when they don't get the answer they want. It's a shame because they always get.good advice then dismiss it !

I was thinking this, too - hilarious! 😂 (Pity the OP isn't able to read the room...)

She's seen it - and decided she don't want it...or perhaps she had difficulty seeing it? Those that want to show it off, usually don't have much to show off.

@DriftingDora he can’t read the room or pretty clear texts it seems

I have a friend you'd be perfect for, she only wants to see her boyfriend once every 3 weeks ish and he's only been to her house 4 times they've been together 10 months! He's got an issue with it too lol

I think you've got different love languages which is causing issues. If you do like her as you say then you could maybe arrange dates in advance so she knows you're still interested inbetween and try a few night in inbetween or maybe sending her flowers or similar so she feels thought of.

It sounds like she's thought this through hard, the text is very well written she's probably had a hand from a friend. She's made it very clear she'd be open for more...maybe she wants you to chase her.

Actions speak louder than words. Telling someone you have feelings for them and showing them are entirely different. You do sound a bit emotionally unavailable and that is hurtful if she wants more. 5 months is a decent amount of time to know how you really feel about someone.

There’s a drink waiting a bar mumsnet for that woman from me. Well done her

I think the OP's disappeared...trying to find a magnifying glass before taking another photo...

10 pages about dick pics I am impressed. What else do you like about her do you see a future. The woman's womb is ticking and she can't wait for you she wants a meaningful man in her life not dick pics.

She's saying "I'm getting the impression you don't give a shit about me so I'm going to stop begging and fighting for your attention. If you want me, prove it."

"That's just who I am" is never going to cut it.

You just want different things, if you're happy to just see someone occasionally and take it really slow that's fine, but if someone like your partner isn't content with that and wants more then that's okay too. They've been clear and honest about what they want and need, you either like them enough to make more of an effort to at least meet half way, or you move on and find someone you're more suited to in this regard. Liking someone isn't always enough to be honest.

Also been in her situation. I need a certain level of

Man here

So it's pretty self explanatory really isn't it OP, you havn't made the effort so she's moving on.

What she wants is to be made to feel special and wanted, you to arrange things, take her out, share happy times. It also sounds like she is looking for more than "dick pics"

And on that subject REALLY, you say you are grown adults, grown adults don't sent pictures of there willy to their girlfriend, they book a nice meal out or weekend away and hopefully their appendage gets viewed in person if you catch my dift, dick pics, give me strength!!

The text is easy to interpret. She's saying 'Bye, Kyletile!'
You have shown her, by your behaviour, that you want sex but you have no real interest in her. She'd rather have more. She must have thought you were ok at one stage or she'd simply have ghosted you.
Never contact her again. You'll be doing her a favour.

Her text reeks of ChatGPT.

It sounds like you're just not compatible.

I love this girl! This is a great message. She is setting her boundary that she thinks you aren’t making enough effort, she’s saying that she’s walking away for her own peace of mind but that if you do buck up in the future then she likes you enough to maybe give you another chance. She is basically saying ‘get your life into gear, become the kind of man who deserves a fantastic woman and fight for me’. I hope she finds someone who treats her like a queen because hearing your excuses I don’t think that’s going to be you

100% this. Dick picks are not what the vast majority of women want.

Dick pics instead of proper dates - and you are confused why she’s ending it?

Seriously you OP says you’re happy, that you want things to stay as they are - well she obviously doesn’t. So unless you’re ready to take her needs into account, leave her to move on with her life.

The fact that you are posting on a womens forum is creepy af

Good for her. I’d be out too.

I was seeing a man once, for a longish time, and I liked him lots but I felt it was rather one sided emotionally, which isn't what I wanted and probably not what it looked like. He was charming and warm (excellent at small talk and regular messages) but something was off. Then I realised. He revealed so little of himself, no vulnerabilities, no secrets... nothing. I doubt he knew much about me either, although I'm very open. He seemed almost terrified of being emotionally intimate and while he was fine watching TV/going to the pub he was so aloof I realised I could never truly love him because - despite spending so much time with him - I barely knew him. He was basically a very pleasant colleague I'd ended up in bed with. It wasn't just me either. My friends liked him loads, but all commented it was surface level. Things ended for different reasons, but honestly I'm not sure I could've stayed long term with him. My boyfriend now does my head in but also knows the bones of me. I need that.

Blimey, what a load of waffle. She's not dumping the OP, she's flouncing in the hopes they'll chase.

You're obviously either in different places in your lives right now, have very different expectations or communicate in very different ways. Whichever it is, you don't seem compatible.