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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Think this school policy is ridiculous

771 replies

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 11:50

Secondary school
DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term.
Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment
However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it.
Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect
In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well!
Arghhhhh. Rant over.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 20/12/2023 11:53

They punish the parents to motivate them to take a stand against their child taking their phone out in class.

You've been inconvenienced for the third time this term by your son's inability to follow a simple rule. What will the consequences be for him? I'd suggest maybe a lovely Nokia brick for Christmas?

Parker231 · 20/12/2023 11:53

Was your DS aware in advance of the punishment for having his phone out?

catsnore · 20/12/2023 11:54

Time to stop collecting it until it's convenient I guess?

catsnore · 20/12/2023 11:55

(Ie make him feel the punishment so he thinks twice next time)

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 20/12/2023 11:55

It does seem OTT but if this is the 3rd time this term you've had to go in and get it then I suggest you come down hard on your son and tell him next time it happens he'll have to wait until its convenient for one of you to go in. A couple of days without his phone might stop him getting it out at school don't you think

NuffSaidSam · 20/12/2023 11:55

Or don't pick it up until after Christmas. Let the lesson sink in for your son.

Catza · 20/12/2023 11:55

Invoice the school for your time off work.

Christmasbrie · 20/12/2023 11:56

NuffSaidSam · 20/12/2023 11:53

They punish the parents to motivate them to take a stand against their child taking their phone out in class.

You've been inconvenienced for the third time this term by your son's inability to follow a simple rule. What will the consequences be for him? I'd suggest maybe a lovely Nokia brick for Christmas?

This!

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 20/12/2023 11:56

Catza · 20/12/2023 11:55

Invoice the school for your time off work.

Don't be ridiculous

fingerguns · 20/12/2023 11:56

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 20/12/2023 11:55

It does seem OTT but if this is the 3rd time this term you've had to go in and get it then I suggest you come down hard on your son and tell him next time it happens he'll have to wait until its convenient for one of you to go in. A couple of days without his phone might stop him getting it out at school don't you think

My thoughts exactly!

Or can they post it to you?

Original poster
sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 11:56

NuffSaidSam · 20/12/2023 11:53

They punish the parents to motivate them to take a stand against their child taking their phone out in class.

You've been inconvenienced for the third time this term by your son's inability to follow a simple rule. What will the consequences be for him? I'd suggest maybe a lovely Nokia brick for Christmas?

I haven't been inconvenienced 3 times, just once.
DS has had a really tough term behaviour wise, we think he possibly has ADHD but he doesn't want to be assessed. That's fine
We do give punishment when needed, he has consequences to his actions
Not sure how you managed to turn an issue with school policy into how I parent

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 20/12/2023 11:56

Catza · 20/12/2023 11:55

Invoice the school for your time off work.

The son, surely? It's his actions that have led to the OP needing to leave work.

NameChangeAgain23 · 20/12/2023 11:56

My kids school has same policy. I'm ok with it and tbh if it was 3rd time for my DD I wouldn't rush to pick it up...

AyrshireTryer · 20/12/2023 11:57

Maybe he'll learn this time.

Christmasbrie · 20/12/2023 11:57

Catza · 20/12/2023 11:55

Invoice the school for your time off work.

Or invoice your son. It seems like the two times prior to this one didn't sink in so it's been appropriately escalated. The hope is parents who probably had no idea/weren't bothered before might be included to support the school on this rule once it inconveniences them.

Original poster
sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 11:58

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 20/12/2023 11:55

It does seem OTT but if this is the 3rd time this term you've had to go in and get it then I suggest you come down hard on your son and tell him next time it happens he'll have to wait until its convenient for one of you to go in. A couple of days without his phone might stop him getting it out at school don't you think

It would be fine for a couple of days. However my next day off isn't till Friday and school closes tomorrow at 3.15. He can't be without his phone until 8tj January

OP posts:
Finteq · 20/12/2023 11:58

YABU.

qotsa · 20/12/2023 11:58

Is it because it's the third time they won't give it back unless to a parent. Or was that the case the first and second time too? If it's been the case all 3 times I'd be pissed off but if it's because it's the third time I can kind of understand. Upping the ante I guess.

Fieldofbrokenpromises · 20/12/2023 11:58

Catza · 20/12/2023 11:55

Invoice the school for your time off work.

Aye, great plan, let us know how that goes 😂

elliejjtiny · 20/12/2023 11:58

Is the theory that if it inconveniences the parent then it's less likely to happen again because the parent will be more likely to make sure it doesn't? Which would work for some things but not for this. It's ridiculous, especially in this day and age when lots of parents can't just drop everything to be there at 3:15. The government want parents working while their dc are at school/childcare but the schools want parents to be able to drop everything and get to the school asap. They can't have it both ways.

Finteq · 20/12/2023 11:59

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 11:58

It would be fine for a couple of days. However my next day off isn't till Friday and school closes tomorrow at 3.15. He can't be without his phone until 8tj January

Show quote history

If he didn't have it all holidays- I think he'd learn not to use it in school.

You've got to come down hard on him, otherwise it will keep happening.

Ohchristmastree23 · 20/12/2023 11:59

Its a punishment. It's meant to be inconvenient otherwise they just do it again.

Original poster
sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 11:59

To clarify, he's had it confiscated 3 times but this is the 1st time I've to collect

School have been awful this term with new standards and a lot of the kids are struggling

OP posts:
Original poster
sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 11:59

Finteq · 20/12/2023 11:58

YABU.

Cheers

OP posts:
Catza · 20/12/2023 12:00

Fieldofbrokenpromises · 20/12/2023 11:58

Aye, great plan, let us know how that goes 😂

Show quote history

I previously invoiced the TV license people. They wanted to come and check that we don't need a TV license (we only watch streaming services). I said they are welcome to but please to pay X amount to compensate for my time off work. Not heard from them for years.

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