Think this school policy is ridiculous

[sadbutdontknowwhy]

Secondary school
DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term.
Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment
However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it.
Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect
In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well!
Arghhhhh. Rant over.

You are angry with the school because they are trying to sort out the behaviour and your DS doesn't like it.

My sons school used to do this. They weren't allowed phones at school which would be fine, except he had to get the bus to school and they only issue digital bus passes.

I lost my shit at them in the end as DS didn't have a choice but to take his phone to school, along with all the other bus kids.

They now give them back at the end of the day. But I pulled my son out of the school anyway because this was possibly the least bat shit thing they did! DS spent a day in isolation once for having on white socks not back ones! Give some people a bit of power....

You're not teaching him consequences if you go get it.

I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well!

They're trying to motivate you to do more at home with your son to sort this out, I know you say that you give punishment when needed and he has consequences to his actions but what you've done so far is not working to prevent future rule-breaking if he's now had his phone taken 3 times. They clearly have some kind of 3 strikes rule on this.

In my school (mix of boarding /day) students lose their phones for 24 hours for the first offence (a term) 48hrs the 2nd and 36hrs for the third. I don’t think there have ever been a fourth.

If they need it, parents need to contact tutors and it can be handed back, but must be returned the next morning.

Students moaned a lot at first but then got used to it and phone use hugely declined.

The school is not the enemy here, in this case!

As I've said, I understand the confiscation
I engage with the scho. I make sure he attends detentions, does homework etc etc
I'm under no illusions that the confiscation wasn't warranted, it will have been
I just don't get the policy

Your son is still not following the rules so they have to escalate it to inconvenience parents to encourage them to intervene in their child's behaviour......its your son you need to speak to

So I should just leave it there?

The school has a policy.
OP's son broke the rules three times.
Any ire should be directed at the son.

Well, it's apparently made you angrier than the previous confiscations did so that's a good thing. The previous sanction clearly had no effect.

Plankingplanks - Taking a phone to school and keeping it in a bag all day is fine, the problems arise when children get them out during lessons or break times.

So you need to address those things with the school- there’s no point getting angry about this particular consequence if other problems are more significant.

The school have been quite generous in letting your son collect the phone the first 2 times-many schools have a policy of parents collecting after the first misdemeanour.

So third time, but first time you have to collect the phone, not him? I assume they have developed the policy because without inconveniencing the parents, after the third time they reckon the kid doesn't care to follow the rules?

Why can't he be without his phone for a couple of weeks? He might learn his lesson if he is. I pity the teachers having to deal with some of these kids.

The policy has been explained to you multiple times and is really very simple. If you still don't understand I don't think there is anything any of us can do for you.

What consequence did you give to your son on the first and second occasion he had his phone confiscated?

DD2's school's policy on phone and attitude to tech use rather muddies the water.

They make everything electronic so things like timetables are available on phones, they are sometimes told off for using their phones in the corridor but they have to use it to check where they are going next, and some kids will have to do homework on phones if they don't have another device.

I much preferred it as a parent, and DD2 preferred it, when homework was done in books, taken in and marked by the teachers and they had to write homework in a diary that was provided by the school, with a printed timetable per year that was stuck into the front of the diary. This was only a few years ago - how it was done at DD1's school who is only four years older and only finished school this year.

Where everything is done on tech there is too much temptation to be distracted or misuse it, or get told off when you are actually using it correctly, even for adults, never mind teenagers. Plus it's divisive, not everyone has a printer or an appropriate device they can access individually to do homework, or a fantastic fast fibre connection.

DD2's school, a few years before she joined were thoroughly shamed in the press for requiring all parents to buy an iPad, and had to quickly drop it. I sometimes think these academy types don't live in the real world. Or think they are in a wealthy area and everyone can afford things, whereas actually there is a big difference in incomes and many disadvantaged kids.

I’d guess it’s intentional to massively inconvenience the parents so they can feel thoroughly pissed off enough to punish their child which is fair enough. He obviously didn’t learn the first two times.

You could do.

What would happen if it didn't have it until 8th January?

This

OP, why are you so angry at the school. You should be angry with your son, who keeps breaking the rules. Confiscating the phone and then giving it back hasn't worked. So the school has upped the consequences. Perhaps your son will start following the rules from now on, as it's not just affecting him anymore.

1. If it's the third time then he should have learned his lesson and clearly he hasn't, so as parfents you need to step up.
2. He should have thought of that before he broke the rules for the third time. 3)It's actually not legally "his property" since at the age of 15 he can't enter into a contract - it's your property.

Glad to see that schools are upholding standards of behaviour and preparing pupils for the real world where breaking the rules has consequences. Perhaps you should mention the real world consequences of things like "work" and rule breaking.

the school want parents to back school up and show a united front on behaviour its supposed to be an inconvenience its a fine rule it just doesn't suit you or your son or probably the staff member who has to.faff about wait on parents to turn up.

The policy is probably there to ensure that parents know about the child's behaviour. He could have covered up the first couple of times it happened. He can't now.

Are you going to do anything to punish your son for causing this inconvenience? Or are you going to blame the school?

This seems like it would be such a hassle for the school that I'd be amazed if they kept it up for long.

How ridiculous. A better idea might be to make more effort to get her nuisance of a son to comply with the rules, and not to collect the phone until she can do it conveniently for her.

By confiscating it they are stealing it, from the child and the parent - they don't own it or pay for it and it doesn't belong to them.
I am not sure what your replacements are about, as you've changed it to something people wouldn't routinely carry to work or school or use throughout the day.