Think this school policy is ridiculous

[sadbutdontknowwhy]

Secondary school
DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term.
Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment
However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it.
Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect
In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well!
Arghhhhh. Rant over.

Sorry?

Posts like this show why education is in the toilet. This is a terrible parent. This is example A why recruitment for teachers is in the bin. Who wants to deal with shite parents like this, with such massive entitlement? I taught in England for a long time ;)

He's struggling? Really? How hard is it to keep the phone in their bag?

Clearly we don't agree on this, but confiscating and taking what isn't yours is never a good way forward.

Given it's the 3rd time I think it's fair. As a mum of a dual diagnosed nuerodiverse child I would use it as a way to teach my child that school rules need followed and if he doesn't follow them he deals with the consequence of his actions both in school and at home.

Regardless of any potential nuerodiversity it's important kids learn to follow rules in life. If my son did this he would have been seriously spoken to the first time, warned the 2nd time that if it happened again there would be consequences. The 3rd time the phone would stay in the school till January. I appreciate it's awkward for you as a working parent to get time of so don't.

Your son is the issue here not the school. If you pick the phone up you are teaching him it's ok to use it in school as mum will sort it out. Show him the school rules matter and he is expected to follow them.

@Maxus

He's struggling with a lot of the changes.
Also they often use their phones in lessons which I can't get my head round

I'm going to pick the phone up, I'm not leaving it till January.

is it though ? a pupil has deliberately disrupted a class 3 times the 3rd time a parent is involved school behaviour should always be a communication between school and carers !

I’m with you @sadbutdontknowwhy regardless of whether your son has misbehaved badly or not ( oh, all these boring and perfect people here ) it is his property - or yours, if it’s your contract - and if the school refused to return it to him I would create merry hell.

Lesson one maths
John can you put your phone in your bag please?
Ok Miss
Lesson two
John can you put your phone in your bag please?
Ok miss
Lesson three
John could you go and put your phone in your locker please?
Ok miss ...... and then disappears for 15 minutes.
John is only one of 30.
Can you see why telling them to put it in their bag or their locker with no consequences if they don't is never going to work?
Next day
John has phone taken and has to collect it at end of the day. So off he goes and picks it up at the end of the day and then he carries on with his day.
Next day same again, getting him to pick it up at the end of the day didn't work so it happens again. Again, John is just one of 30 in the class. Assuming secondary and 5 classes a day that's 150 kids plus the ones in the teacher's form class maybe twice a day. That's a lot of kids. Again, no real consequences for the child though.
How much time do you think is spent on contacting parents for low level disruption?
Having a parent collect the phone from school puts the onus on the child to tell their parents that the phone has been confiscated.

Think yourself lucky it is confiscated until the end of term here.

If the school are imposing a lot of new standards, it sounds to me like behaviour standards needed a big overhaul. I understand it's hard for the pupils to adjust. But adjust they must.

You do understand the whole reason that they won't budge on this for you is because if they budge for you, they budge for everyone.

This rule makes perfect sense to me tbh that if the phone has caused a problem 3 times, they should involve you on the third time, as the school punishments of the first and second time had no impact on him.

Looks like you need to leave work to go collect the phone, then decide on what punishment your son gets for that. He knew the rules. He knew there would be an impact on you. He did it anyway.

It sounds like the school is expecting YOU to reinforce the punishment - they are making it clear to YOU the ‘parent’ that the behaviour is totally unacceptable. You’re being inconvenienced to drive this message home. Jeez. Posts like this make me feel sorry for the teachers… Also do you suppose this behaviour is potentially inconvenient for the teachers - hence them inconveniencing you in return? I’m gonna go with yes!

Clearly you don't understand the concept of rules and consequences for breaking them.

If your son is without a phone for a couple of weeks he will probably think twice about getting it out again. YABU I am sure his teachers are fed up

I would ring and ask to discuss it.
If the person who answers doesn't have the authority to make a call on it ask to speak to someone who does or for a return call. Ring again if they don't get back to you.

People are generally reasonable. Being without a phone for a day or two is one thing (and may be a good lesson) but being without it over Christmas is quite another. I would be surprised if they don't bend the rules in this case. Be very reasonable, speak about having a very serious talk with your son etc. They want a parent’s attention and they have it now - job done.

So just talk to them again if you can.

How does him "struggling" excuse taking out the phone during class? That's just making excuses for his disrespect and disobedience.

Why can't you leave the phone at the school till Jan 8?

It's difficult to believe that the phone is the only way to access the gym.

Tell him school is like a computer game. Learn the rules, follow them, you win. Turn your phone off, keep it in your pocket or a safe place. Ask before you use it in class (I loved it when pupils took a photo of what we'd put on the board to read again at home, or when they wanted to photograph their work 'to show my mum, miss!' Not all phones in the classroom are harmful). In the manner of a computer game, give him a setback if he inconveniences you by getting his phone confiscated. Ground him. He shouldn't be out and about without his phone, anyway.

Well I guess that’s not much of lesson then - is it? The only punishment for breaking a rule is inconveniencing you. Who cares etc. shrugs shoulders

School policy exists to support all children's learning.

Creating "merry hell" when a student receives a consequence he KNEW would come (after 2 previous misdemeanours) is to support poor behaviour.

And once again, for those at the back: school staff CAN confiscate items from students.

Maybe pick up the phone and keep it for a day or so.
If he needs it for the gym then he can inconvenience himself by missing out until he gets his phone back.

Might be the dumbest post I’ve ever read - are you for real?

I know right @adorablecat - how can the schools expect to educate the children on correct behaviour when the parents are total savages…

And they'd have their explanation as to why your child can't follow rules. And they'd roll their eyes and sigh and maybe have a little laugh, while upholding the school rules. And eventually you'd be up there collecting the phone all angry and pent up having achieved nothing.

No one with normal thought processes would have posted that sort of unpleasant and idiotic post.