Think this school policy is ridiculous

[sadbutdontknowwhy]

Secondary school
DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term.
Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment
However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it.
Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect
In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well!
Arghhhhh. Rant over.

It's way less hassle than kids dicking around with phones in class. For the teacher it's easy, give phone to admin office, they stick it in a drawer until the parent shows up.

So your son doesn't go to the gym today. Consequences.

Stealing has a very clear definition- taking with intention to permanently deprive

Confiscation doesn’t in any way fit this definition. You are wrong on this

I'm not sure what you don't understand about the policy. It's been explained here several times. If a child can't learn to follow the rules (given 2 chances to learn it) perhaps if the parents are inconvenienced they will help their child to learn to follow the rules.

The sanctions which inconvenience the parents are doing my head in.
I am a lone parent, working full time.
I know my son's behaviour needs to improve. Trust me, I am doing my best.
He is a horribly normal 14 year old, too cool for school. He will mature.

It is not helped by school fart arsing around with him not being on the after school detention list meaning he has to do it another day.
In my last (nearly tearful) call with the HOY I asked how other parents are managing. I have always supported school sanctions, but it's getting ridiculous and I'm feeling inadequate. She said parents finish work early or have family that help. So that made me feel even more inadequate.

Their system is that after school detentions are done the day they are issued.
My son gets bus transport.

I think schools should deal with behaviour in school, carry out the sanction and that's it and it's done. If bad behaviour happens at home then the parents deal with that.

No policy should attempt to punish or inconvenience parents, that is overstepping. I do agree that it's daft that you have to come in and get the phone.

they are not stealing it stop being ridiculous ! i actually laughed at that 😂

Thanks to everyone for assuming I don't punish my son

And for the poster who said he's 'one of those kids' he really isn't. He's just having a difficult time

Of course I'll be collecting. I'm frustrated and think it's ridiculous but it's the way the school has been since September so I shouldn't have been surprised

I think not collecting until Jan would stop your son taking his phone out in lesson! Maybe a consequences lesson is needed so he doesn't do it again?

OK, then let's not use steal, lets say 'taking something that isn't theirs, which they have no right to take'.

Probably too late now, but could one of you pick up at your lunchtime and keep it/return to work?

He'll need to miss the gym (or find another way to access) tonight but at least it will be available when needed over Xmas (after an appropriate confiscation at home)

what are you talking about what if a child punches someone or steals something are the parents not to be involved because well it happened in school!

OK then, shall we do that to everyone who uses their phone on work time?
Shall we completely overreact or not?
Collect the phone OP, or phone the school and explain why you cannot collect it and tell them to please return the phone to him at the end of the day. They actually cannot refuse to do so.

It's not like parents can really change or influence policy if they disagree with it. There is very little choice in what school kids go to for most either. It's not like going to a cafe where if you don't like how you are treated then you can go elsewhere.

Or, we could say 'take away something they shouldn't be messing around with in lessons, until they can get their heads around a simple rule'.

As it’s his third, they want the parent to come into collect as giving it back at the normal time clearly isn’t working as a punishment. Looks like he misses out on the gym or looks at ways he can pay you back for the time you will have to take off.

My dds school do this. She got her phone confiscated because she didn't have it on silent and it rang in class. We left it a week before we picked it up, she hasn't had it confiscated again.

edited to add even for a first time offence parents have to pick it up at dds school.

That's different and would eventually lead to suspension or expulsion so of course parents would be involved. Pretty irrelevant for this discussion.

I often think a parent should sit with a teacher and just see what they have to manage- not talking about actual teaching but everything else.

Im not a teacher but I remember the head master standing up on one of the initial parents
meetings - saying we will send you (parents) the link to the policies around uniform/hwk/mobiles etc by sending your child here your supporting those policies If you don’t want to support them then maybe this isn’t the school for you.

This is your sons fault point the blame towards him

You’re being absolutely ridiculous

Of course they have a ‘right’ to take and confiscate things when keeping those things would be a breach of school policy

I don’t know how teachers cope when people hold idiotic ideas like these, it’s mind boggling

Why can't the child be told to either leave the phone in their bag under the desk or their locker during class time, instead of them taking something which isn't theirs to take? When they confiscate this phone who has access to it, who is responsible for any damage, who is responsible for missed emergency calls?

(I say bag or locker because I know some schools have lockers to leave stuff in whereas others carry their bag around all day).

Why is it idiotic to put the phone in your bag under the desk/in your locker though? That's much better than taking something that isn't theirs to take!

That's different from the OP's situation.

They shouldn't be denying your child the ability to get home safely via the school bus. I would leave him at school until such time as you can get there after work. They can either keep him until then or find a way to make a lunchtime detention work.

Go get it in January and I expect he pay a bit more attention to the rules.

Well if they had left in their bag they wouldn't have needed to have it confiscated...

Rule breaking needs a consequence.