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Original poster

My daughter knows that everything is fake

307 replies

Krismuss · 20/12/2023 09:48

I don’t know what has gone wrong here. My 3 year old daughter knows everything is fake. A few examples - I took her to see Santa - afterwards I asked if she enjoyed it and she said “yes, but it’s only pretend isn’t it?”
We went to Disneyland earlier this year and I said “wow look DD, a real princess castle!” And she said “silly mummy, it’s not real”. Same with the characters - she knew they were just people playing dress up.

Last week I took her to a party and “Elsa” was there. “Elsa” danced with her and when we got home I told DH that DD had been dancing with Elsa - DD said “not the real Elsa though, because it’s not real, only pretend”.

I said to her this morning “you best be good because Father Christmas is watching!” And she again said “it’s not real mummy”

she has no older siblings or relatives that would tell her this and she isn’t at school or nursery. Why doesn’t she believe in anything? :-( I feel like there is no point in doing the usual small child activities because she knows it’s all fake. Even at the Christmas market there were reindeers there and I said “I wonder which one is rudolf?” And she said “they’re just reindeers, none are rudolf”.

DH hasn’t told her anything is fake either, he’s as perplexed as I am. So not to drip feed she is on the waiting list for autism assessment, could this have something to do with it?

OP posts:
Puffling235 · 20/12/2023 18:25

This thread made me smile. I've always intuitively known not to take dd to 'meet Santa', knew she'd see straight through it and have far too many questions. Confirmed when we spotted one from afar at a lights show and she asked 'why is that man dressed up as Santa, mummy?' 😅 Better to keep a bit of distance/mystery for these kinds of kids. We managed through til age 7 / y2....

Balloonhearts · 20/12/2023 19:09

And also be thankful that you will never have to know the torture of doing bloody elf on the bastard shelf.

Aroundthewaygirl · 20/12/2023 20:59

She sounds like she would be fun to be around.

I knew at around 5 yrs old that Santa wasn't real but didn't take away my enjoyment of Xmas.

gannett · 20/12/2023 21:05

NeverDropYourMooncup · 20/12/2023 09:57

She's smart and insightful.

However, it might be a plan to start teaching her about protecting other's feelings, as although she's only disappointing you at the moment, you don't really want her to be the reality check kid telling all of Reception Santa's not real - or declaring that religion is nonsense either in school or to somebody whose parent has died that their Daddy isn't in Heaven, silly, there's no such thing.

I was that kid in reception class. I didn't understand why it was such a bad thing to have just told everyone the truth, and yet I was the one who got in trouble. A part of me still doesn't understand.

I never believed in Santa. I knew what stories were and I knew what myths were and I just naturally put Santa into that category. (I still loved reading stories, knowing that it's fiction doesn't take away any magic at all.)

Not believing in God proved rather more problematic in a heavily religious family and was probably the origin story of having to go NC with them.

ThreeLocusts · 20/12/2023 21:53

Sounds to me like your daughter has good intuitions. A good bullshit detector. I don't think anything has gone wrong. You can teach her to be polite about others' beliefs without sharing them.

Anotherpinkginplease · 21/12/2023 17:52

Does she watch YouTube? We've had some near misses thanks to YouTube videos!

DewHopper · 21/12/2023 17:55

She's a smart kid OP. Stop trying to pretend that all that shit is real!

BlueFlowers5 · 21/12/2023 17:57

OP she is a very clever little girl. She probably has decided through observation that a lot of the stuff for children is fantasy.

There are other areas, nature, music, playing chess or Scrabble.

CRD67 · 21/12/2023 17:58

Don't agree or disagree when she says it's fake say "It's all part of the fun and magic of Christmas".

sumayyah · 21/12/2023 18:14

I wouldn't have thought it was an autism trait.
Both my children are autistic though at your daughter's age both were completely non verbal

My daughter found out Santa wasn't real when she was heading towards age 13 as I slipped up in a sleep deprived state and told her we needed to go buy some bits for the stockings
My son is almost 8 and has only understood Christmas for the last couple years and believes everything which made it difficult when a staff member in his unit told him Santa will bring him everything he wants

Blueey · 21/12/2023 18:23

I always knew it was fake as a child and therefore haven't pretended anything is real to mine. They still find Christmas absolutely magical despite knowing Santa as a story/belief.

ManagedMove · 21/12/2023 18:25

MrsMiagi · 20/12/2023 09:51

I knew it was all fake and I am not autistic. Some kids are just like that but for me it didn't take away any of the magic of events like Xmas. I'm almost 40 amd still love Xmas!
She will find out eventually so as long as its not putting a dampener on things just make it like your little secret she can't tell others so not to ruin it for those who do believe in it.

Exactly this, I don't think I ever thought any of it was really but I loved it anyway.

Freesiabritney · 21/12/2023 18:50

I always knew, and definitely my DD always knew that disney characters etc weren't real, but she may have believed in santa till she was about 5 or so. I still always found it very fun joining in with the make believe of it all.

MarvellousMonsters · 21/12/2023 18:51

Have you actually asked her why she feels that way? It's weird that she 'knows' this if no one has told her, the first thing I'd do is ask her why she thinks it's all fake.

DewHopper · 21/12/2023 18:55

No it's not weird! It means that she is pretty clever I would have thought. What's weird is lying to little kids and 'pretending' that it's real, surely?

laraitopbanana · 21/12/2023 18:58

I got a hint it was fake when I realised Santa beard was cotton wool… 🤣🤣🤣

LBFseBrom · 21/12/2023 19:02

Your daughter sounds wonderful and insightful, op, she is not prepared to buy into myths and lies, not even to please you, and that is to her credit. She'll still have a magical Christmas so don't worry.

sidebirds · 21/12/2023 19:14

be glad you have such an incredibly perceptive child! bodes well for her future 🔥🔥🔥

Ilovecleaning · 21/12/2023 19:41

Your DD sounds to be a bright little girl.

itsonlysubterfuge · 21/12/2023 19:56

My daughter is 11. She knows it's all fake, but she loves doing it anyway. She just wrote a letter to Santa and was excited to get a response. It's still fun and magical anyway. Why not approach it that way? IE, I know it's not real, but isn't it fun to pretend DD?!

Orangeandgold · 21/12/2023 20:31

I do think more children these days are intelligent and can think for themselves. My DD stopped believing in Santa etc since the age of 6 and they had a huge discussion with her friendship group in the playground about it.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Childhood is always a little magical as children have great imaginations regardless of what they believe.

Winnipeg23 · 21/12/2023 20:36

She sounds clever and mature!

Yousay55 · 21/12/2023 20:41

Many of the autistic children I’ve taught, find writing stories and using their imagination for role play and games etc, tricky. Not all, but most.
Sometimes I think it’s their way of rationalising things that they’re a little scared or unsure of and want things to make sense.
I think most dc know things aren’t real but enjoy playing along and pretending they are.

Bailar · 21/12/2023 20:48

OP, is your little girl an Aquarius? They are born knowing everything, and i say this lovingly, as I have Aquarius DS.
There is no fooling some kids, they are wiser than their years.

Retired65 · 21/12/2023 21:02

I think she is a very clever girl to have worked out that it is all pretend.