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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my 13 DS sleep over at his girlfriend's house?

160 replies

user1496146479 · 19/12/2023 17:43

Help me out! I think I'm losing the plot!
My DS13 wants to sleep over at his girlfriend of about 5 weeks (not sure that matters) house!
Apparently her parents are fine with it, and she has had boys sleep over before!
I've said no.... he is kicking off, I don't think IABU..... I have suggested collecting him late if they want to watch a movie etc.
For info, I have only met the girlfriend's dad once briefly when I collected her for a disco, and have only met the girl for the duration of that car journey!

OP posts:
schoolallergies · 19/12/2023 17:44

They'll bang, so on that basis it's a no from me

Rosiiee · 19/12/2023 17:44

lol. No. Nice try though kiddo 😂

Edit to add: I was 17 when I was allowed to sleepover at my bf of a year. Even then, we had to sleep in different bedrooms (obviously we did all the sneaking into each others room business) but 13 is just madness!!

fingerguns · 19/12/2023 17:45

Here's another "NO" vote.

MuttsNutts · 19/12/2023 17:45

Hahaha…not a hope in hell 😂

Let him kick off all he likes.

StephanieSuperpowers · 19/12/2023 17:45

What are those imminent grandparents thinking?

Girlsjustwannahavefundamentalrights · 19/12/2023 17:46

Hell no.

Hiddenvoice · 19/12/2023 17:46

No definitely not, he’s far too young for that in my opinion.
I’d stand your ground and stick with your offer of a late pick up. I’d even offer for the girl to go to your house for a late night film but that’s it.
I’d also point out that you’ve barely met his girlfriend and see what he says!
I imagine the girls family won’t be home the night your son wants to stay.

c3pu · 19/12/2023 17:46

If my DS (13) tried this, he'd be met with a laugh and a "you must be joking"

2dogsandabudgie · 19/12/2023 17:46

schoolallergies - They could do that at any time though if they wanted.

electriclight · 19/12/2023 17:46

I think it depends on the circumstances. DD's bf stayed over at that age if there was a genuine need. He was obviously in the spare room on a different floor, and she shared with her sister at the time.

thismummydrinksgin · 19/12/2023 17:47

2dogsandabudgie · 19/12/2023 17:46

schoolallergies - They could do that at any time though if they wanted.

Yes but this is handing it them on a plate !

MuttsNutts · 19/12/2023 17:47

And if he carries on kicking off you need to withdraw the offer of a lift as well so he won’t be going anywhere.

velvetoptions · 19/12/2023 17:47

WTAF?

Itsallgoingtopot · 19/12/2023 17:47

Absolutely not.

thismummydrinksgin · 19/12/2023 17:48

Set your rules now otherwise when he's 15 you won't be able to go back. Don't make it normal x

schoolallergies · 19/12/2023 17:48

2dogsandabudgie · 19/12/2023 17:46

schoolallergies - They could do that at any time though if they wanted.

Yeah but I wouldn't be making it so easy for them.

JustWhatWeDontNeed · 19/12/2023 17:48

How is this even a question? Absolutely not.

AllIsWellish · 19/12/2023 17:49

Nope not a chance

cardibach · 19/12/2023 17:50

electriclight · 19/12/2023 17:46

I think it depends on the circumstances. DD's bf stayed over at that age if there was a genuine need. He was obviously in the spare room on a different floor, and she shared with her sister at the time.

This. There are lots of reasons why this might be ok.
Do you live very rurally?
How many other people live in the house?
Where would he sleep and how likely is it that he’ll have to stay there?

MrsJPinkman · 19/12/2023 17:50

Kicking off? He needs reigning in. He's 13, not 23, ffs! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Dragonsandcats · 19/12/2023 17:52

I wouldn’t allow this.

BooksAndHooks · 19/12/2023 17:54

No I didn’t allow any sleepovers where either are under the age of consent. Certainly not at 13.

Lavenderflower · 19/12/2023 17:54

This would be an absolute no. I'm surprised the parents allowed this. It would make me suspicious about possible grooming behaviours etc.

DidiAskYouThough · 19/12/2023 17:55

What the actual fuck? You’re not sure of what to do? 😄

FluffyUnicorn84 · 19/12/2023 17:57

DS 13 No!!