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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you say yes if at front of line and was asked to let a disabled child first ?

230 replies

Nearlyfinished2023 · 19/12/2023 16:06

Today my DD with her aunt went to some Xmas pop up thing, which had a character meet n Greet with one of her fav characters.
her rang me on the way home whilst I was talking with a friend and said how when they got there the line was massive and she took DD to the front to speak to the lady ( DD has visible tubes ) to ask how long the wait was in which they replied 2 hours. Aunt told DD there was no way she would stand in that cold for 2 hours and that maybe they could do something else. The worker then asked the front people if they didn’t mind if they Let her quickly run in to do the meet and greet, they were fine with this and DD got to go in.
my friend was mortified 😂 she was like I would be fuming and what about the people behind the first family what if they cared ?
she thinks it was very unfair as it was such a long line that everyone had to wait.
would you have minded ?

OP posts:
PopandFizz · 19/12/2023 17:08

Very common for disabled people to get a queue jump, your friend needs to get some compassion!

johnd2 · 19/12/2023 17:08

It's a victims crime, it's worth 24 families times 5 minutes delay to get in first.

Sirzy · 19/12/2023 17:09

Life’s unfair. Especially if you’re a disabled child, if you get the odd perk then that goes a teeny tiny way to balance out a tiny bit of the unfairness.

Didiplanthis · 19/12/2023 17:09

itsmylife7 · 19/12/2023 17:04

A visible disabled child I'd not mind in the slightest.

And if I heard anyone moaning I'd probably start a " debate "

I have 2 dc with disabilities... one is more visibly disabled, but able to queue. The other has no visible disabilities but the scenario of queuing for 2 hours would be utterly impossible, snd throughly unpleasant for everyone in the queue as well... does that mean only one of my children should be able to access the event ? Although tbf bitter experience means this is often both miss out if there is no prebooked access arrangements 🤷‍♀️

fitzwilliamdarcy · 19/12/2023 17:10

I can’t have kids so highly unlikely to ever be in such a queue but fuck me of course this is OK. Anyone saying otherwise needs to take a long hard look at themselves.

SoNotRainbowRhythms · 19/12/2023 17:10

No. I have a child who also has a hard time waiting and whose tics increase massively in those conditions, there have been times when people have noticed and asked us if we want to go first so would definitely do the same for a child with greater need

brickastley · 19/12/2023 17:11

itsmylife7 · 19/12/2023 17:04

A visible disabled child I'd not mind in the slightest.

And if I heard anyone moaning I'd probably start a " debate "

Why does the disability have to visible to you?

Thegoodbadandugly · 19/12/2023 17:12

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:11

That's unfair. If your dd isn't well enough to wait you should have arranged with the organisers to come back at another scheduled time rather than let her push in front of little kids who've been waiting 2hrs in the cold, that's out of order

Sorry but you absolutely everything that is wrong with this generation!!!! Absolutely selfish.............

Whiskeypowers · 19/12/2023 17:15

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:11

That's unfair. If your dd isn't well enough to wait you should have arranged with the organisers to come back at another scheduled time rather than let her push in front of little kids who've been waiting 2hrs in the cold, that's out of order

Think that in terms of what you find unfair about this scenario compared to what a disabled child has to contend with ….. well you can get to fuck

itsmylife7 · 19/12/2023 17:15

Didiplanthis · 19/12/2023 17:09

I have 2 dc with disabilities... one is more visibly disabled, but able to queue. The other has no visible disabilities but the scenario of queuing for 2 hours would be utterly impossible, snd throughly unpleasant for everyone in the queue as well... does that mean only one of my children should be able to access the event ? Although tbf bitter experience means this is often both miss out if there is no prebooked access arrangements 🤷‍♀️

Edited
Show quote history

I assume you're talking "behaviour issues " with one child.

personally I'd not have an issue and let you go ahead.

Anisette · 19/12/2023 17:16

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:11

That's unfair. If your dd isn't well enough to wait you should have arranged with the organisers to come back at another scheduled time rather than let her push in front of little kids who've been waiting 2hrs in the cold, that's out of order

She'd still "push in front" if she came back another time. Would you really be the dickhead who would complain in that situation?

MILTOBE · 19/12/2023 17:17

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:11

That's unfair. If your dd isn't well enough to wait you should have arranged with the organisers to come back at another scheduled time rather than let her push in front of little kids who've been waiting 2hrs in the cold, that's out of order

You must have felt really good about yourself when you wrote that. Would you really not let a disabled child jump the queue?

itsmylife7 · 19/12/2023 17:17

brickastley · 19/12/2023 17:11

Why does the disability have to visible to you?

Show quote history

Ridiculous question.

A child with tubes and/or in a wheelchair needs no explaining.

GreatAuntMaude · 19/12/2023 17:18

Nearlyfinished2023 · 19/12/2023 16:59

I don’t treat my child like a what do you call it a homogenous blob.
I treat her with circumstances in mind. She is an older primary school child but does not have the capabilities of one so her age does not come in to factor. If for example it was indoors and seating where she could maybe rest whilst the line was going down then I would make her wait.

I didn't mean YOU treat her that way. I mean there is a sort of patronizing undercurrent to some people's treatment of disabled people that makes assumptions about their capabilities based on looks or diagnosis. The same people who say "aww, what would your daughter like to eat" because she is in a wheelchair instead of asking her what she'd like to eat.

I remember taking my 9 year old autistic son to see Santa and the queue was too long, it would have taken all our scheduled time at the venue and we had other stuff to do. So I told him this, and he had a meltdown, and I apologized, and we both survived, and made sure I booked a priority ticket next time. Should he have been allowed to cut in? Not really, there were 4 and 5 year olds in the queue who also find queuing hard. I don't think my DS ' needs were greater than theirs on that occasion.

On the other hand, when we were at the airport queuing for security and the line snaked around and contained thousands of people, DS then aged 15 did begin to get very distressed because of the crush of people all around when we had been queuing for 20 mins or so. It wasn't a setting where he could have had a meltdown safely so in that situation I did ask for assistance.

The point I am making is just that "being disabled" isn't a reason to cut the queue every time. It depends on the nature of the disability, the age of the child, the circumstances they are queuing in, etc. Most posters here seem to be saying any disabled person can cut the queue because poor them, they are disabled. I just think it's ok to be a bit more considered about it.

Sirzy · 19/12/2023 17:18

itsmylife7 · 19/12/2023 17:17

Ridiculous question.

A child with tubes and/or in a wheelchair needs no explaining.

Show quote history

My son’s tube is under his clothes and he doesn’t always need the wheelchair. Would he need to take him top off just to prove he is disabled?

ColleenDonaghy · 19/12/2023 17:19

Sure, here you go. What a gobshite Grin

(Hopefully the screenshot works, phone is broken so I can't actually see it. Google DJ Carey if not)

Would you say yes if at front of line and was asked to let a disabled child first ?
Willyoujustbequiet · 19/12/2023 17:20

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:11

That's unfair. If your dd isn't well enough to wait you should have arranged with the organisers to come back at another scheduled time rather than let her push in front of little kids who've been waiting 2hrs in the cold, that's out of order

You have so shown yourself up here.

RoseMarigoldViolet · 19/12/2023 17:20

I wouldn’t have minded.

NumberTheory · 19/12/2023 17:21

I ‘m happy for children who can’t wait because of a disability being allowed accommodations. But I think when there’s no gatekeeping it’s often abused (because I have acquaintances who have described abusing it) and making people who are in line for two hours wait longer so that one person doesn’t have to (even if they aren’t capable of waiting) is unreasonable and it would be better to give them a pass to come back at whatever time they would make it to the front of the line.

In this case the OP made it sound like it was the aunt who wasn’t prepared to wait, not the child who was unable to, but that could just be the way it was written.

itsmylife7 · 19/12/2023 17:22

Sirzy · 19/12/2023 17:18

My son’s tube is under his clothes and he doesn’t always need the wheelchair. Would he need to take him top off just to prove he is disabled?

Show quote history

That's a ridiculous question and not what this post is exactly about. 🙄

goneaway2 · 19/12/2023 17:22

I wouldn't have minded at all. In fact years ago I was queuing for a Lego Friends event in a shopping Centre with my Autistic son, he wasn't interested in the youtuber girls who were promoting it, just the Lego. We didn't ask to jump the queue but whilst we were queuing a staff member saw us and asked if we were just there to do the Lego bit and took us in front of the queue. It was such a lovely thing for them to do that, especially as he's not obviously disabled.

pilates · 19/12/2023 17:22

I wouldn’t have had a problem with this.

Willyoujustbequiet · 19/12/2023 17:23

You'd have to be an absolute twat of a person to object. Devoid of any moral compass at all..

Ahhhhhbisto · 19/12/2023 17:23

I would absolutely let your DD go ahead and have done in similar situations.

2 of my 3 children have autism and adhd so it would likely cause some disruption/reaction from them (they are very opinionated on rules!). As their parent I would just explain the circumstances to them just as I would with my neurotypical child.

I appreciate I am fortunate enough to be able to queue and explain with the boys understanding although it wouldn't be without a battle WinkSmile

brickastley · 19/12/2023 17:23

@itsmylife7

Ridiculous question.

A child with tubes and/or in a wheelchair needs no explaining.

And a child with a non visible disability doesn't need explaining to you either. My question wasn't ridiculous.