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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you say yes if at front of line and was asked to let a disabled child first ?

230 replies

Nearlyfinished2023 · 19/12/2023 16:06

Today my DD with her aunt went to some Xmas pop up thing, which had a character meet n Greet with one of her fav characters.
her rang me on the way home whilst I was talking with a friend and said how when they got there the line was massive and she took DD to the front to speak to the lady ( DD has visible tubes ) to ask how long the wait was in which they replied 2 hours. Aunt told DD there was no way she would stand in that cold for 2 hours and that maybe they could do something else. The worker then asked the front people if they didn’t mind if they Let her quickly run in to do the meet and greet, they were fine with this and DD got to go in.
my friend was mortified 😂 she was like I would be fuming and what about the people behind the first family what if they cared ?
she thinks it was very unfair as it was such a long line that everyone had to wait.
would you have minded ?

OP posts:
SleepingBeautySnores · 19/12/2023 16:19

I totally agree that your DD should have been allowed to jump the queue, and if I were the parent of any child in the queue who complained about it, I would have used it as a chance to teach them that if the poorly child hadn't been allowed to go to the front, she would have been unable to go at all.

Gnomegnomegnome · 19/12/2023 16:19

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:11

That's unfair. If your dd isn't well enough to wait you should have arranged with the organisers to come back at another scheduled time rather than let her push in front of little kids who've been waiting 2hrs in the cold, that's out of order

Is it unfair though?
More unfair than living day in and day out with a disability and having to rely on the goodwill of others to be able to take part in an activity put on for children at Christmas?

Having to wait a little bit longer so that a child is able to take part probably wouldn’t add much on to your day.

brickastley · 19/12/2023 16:20

Staff shouldn't be asking the public if it's ok. Many places allow disabled access by simply eliminating the queue aspect.

HardcoreLadyType · 19/12/2023 16:20

I feel like disabled children/people have already been given the short straw of life so why wouldnt we want to help them, even if it's just 5 minutes of our time

This really.

Comedycook · 19/12/2023 16:21

Yes definitely.

AutumnNymph · 19/12/2023 16:22

Absolutely!

ToWhitToWhoo · 19/12/2023 16:22

No, definitely not. And I have some disabilities myself, but would definitely give priority to a young disabled child in such a situation.

And, in any case, how is it your friend's business?

MirrorBack · 19/12/2023 16:22

I’d have waved, smiled and told her to have fun.

helpfulperson · 19/12/2023 16:25

In principle it's totally fine but the risk is the outcome they have at Disney where so many people have priority access that the waits in those lines are massive and the normal lines are a very long wait time. Not sure what the fair answer is.

Paperwhiteflowers · 19/12/2023 16:25

It’s pretty much recognised at most attractions/museums/public places that if you have a disability you can go up to the front and be let through and particularly so with children. Lots of people are unable to queue for all kinds of reasons. People generally don’t mind.

HollaHolla · 19/12/2023 16:26

So, not kids, but I am disabled through a spinal cord injury. I can walk (with a limp, and a stick), but I cannot stand for a long time. At many things, I reserve accessible seating, and almost universally, we have been told (me, and a companion) to just come to the front of the queue, and let them know I'm here. I don't mind going to the side and waiting, but I would need to sit down after about 5 mins.
That's just an example of how people might think I am 'getting something over them', when actually, it's been organised in advance. Is that an option for you, OP. Also, anyone who is a massive twat about it, it would be good to say, 'you can also have the disability, and see how that works out for you. Assholes (them, not you.)
Hope that your DD enjoyed the Christmas activity.

Neriah · 19/12/2023 16:30

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:11

That's unfair. If your dd isn't well enough to wait you should have arranged with the organisers to come back at another scheduled time rather than let her push in front of little kids who've been waiting 2hrs in the cold, that's out of order

I can see who's on the naughty list this year.

I'm a disabled adult and small kindnesses surprise me because they are so unusual. I am gratified that a disabled child was shown one such act at Christmas.

Original poster
Nearlyfinished2023 · 19/12/2023 16:32

Yeh usually I would contact before hand but it was a sort of pop up thing and we didn’t even know about it until this morning ( only on one day )
sometimes if it’s inside and there is no disabled line I will ask if we can sit on near by seating until our time.
anything else like theme parks etc we organise the passes / pre book etc
it’s good to see their is still kindness around !

OP posts:
Startyabastard · 19/12/2023 16:33

I would absolutely not mind.

HollyJollyHolidays · 19/12/2023 16:34

No I wouldn’t mind at all.

Dacadactyl · 19/12/2023 16:34

No I wouldn't have minded AT ALL.

I'd be thankful that I had a child for whom standing in the cold for 2 hours would only inconvenience them, not make them more poorly.

Potentialmadcatlady · 19/12/2023 16:35

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:11

That's unfair. If your dd isn't well enough to wait you should have arranged with the organisers to come back at another scheduled time rather than let her push in front of little kids who've been waiting 2hrs in the cold, that's out of order

God forbid it was your child who needed five mins of understanding to help make a special Christmas memory…

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 19/12/2023 16:36

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:11

That's unfair. If your dd isn't well enough to wait you should have arranged with the organisers to come back at another scheduled time rather than let her push in front of little kids who've been waiting 2hrs in the cold, that's out of order

Those little kids enjoy the priceless privilege of bodies that just work, how they're supposed to, without intervention. That's unfair, it really is. Those kids can wait 5 minutes more.

BabyYoshke · 19/12/2023 16:36

I’m a hard nosed bitch and wouldn’t mind your dd jumping the queue one bit OP.

edited because I misread the first post

Etoile41 · 19/12/2023 16:37

I would have absolutely no issue at all. I hope your daughter enjoyed the experience

DisforDarkChocolate · 19/12/2023 16:37

I'd be happy the staff helped a child.

Newsenmum · 19/12/2023 16:38

You’d be horrible to mind and also she was one person so it wouldn’t have put them out much at all

Greekgreens · 19/12/2023 16:38

Most events will already have a system in place for those who can’t queue. For my family it really helps.

HermioneWeasley · 19/12/2023 16:38

I have been in this situation and I was delighted to let the family go ahead of us and have their special moment, and clearly most people are.

OdeToBarney · 19/12/2023 16:39

I wouldn't have minded at all. And if my child expressed an opinion about it, I would have used it as a chance to teach her kindness. Hope your dd had fun!