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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you say yes if at front of line and was asked to let a disabled child first ?

230 replies

Nearlyfinished2023 · 19/12/2023 16:06

Today my DD with her aunt went to some Xmas pop up thing, which had a character meet n Greet with one of her fav characters.
her rang me on the way home whilst I was talking with a friend and said how when they got there the line was massive and she took DD to the front to speak to the lady ( DD has visible tubes ) to ask how long the wait was in which they replied 2 hours. Aunt told DD there was no way she would stand in that cold for 2 hours and that maybe they could do something else. The worker then asked the front people if they didn’t mind if they Let her quickly run in to do the meet and greet, they were fine with this and DD got to go in.
my friend was mortified 😂 she was like I would be fuming and what about the people behind the first family what if they cared ?
she thinks it was very unfair as it was such a long line that everyone had to wait.
would you have minded ?

OP posts:

pontipinemum · 19/12/2023 16:40

100% would not mind at all. I hope she had a great time.

Burgundylover · 19/12/2023 16:41

When I was a child many years ago we used to go to see Father Christmas in one of the West End department stores. There were always big queues and my DB was in callipers, so clearly could not stand or walk for too long. My parents would go to the staff on the door and ask if we could skip the queue. Everyone let us in and no-one seemed upset. This happened in other places as wel,l which seemed quite normal with a disabled child. I was just lucky I could take advantage of it!

TheShellBeach · 19/12/2023 16:41

Of course your daughter should have gone first!

I hope she really enjoyed it, too.

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:42

This reply has been deleted

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Niallig32839 · 19/12/2023 16:42

Absolutely wouldn’t mind. To make someone else’s life a bit easier and take a few minutes of your own time, it’s a no brainer.

CagneyAndLazy · 19/12/2023 16:42

Of course I wouldn't mind, no. I hope your DD had a lovely time. 😊

(Wasn't sure how to vote on this - not unreasonable to have asked to go first)

Edit: just realised it was your friend who was mortified, not you, so voting is clear!

brickastley · 19/12/2023 16:43

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Reporting this little gem

Conkersinautumn · 19/12/2023 16:43

No, I'm used to things like that at events I go.to. in order to make an event accessible sometimes people need reduced waiting or separate waiting areas or other sorts of assistance, and that's OK.

WeWishYouAMerryChristmas2023 · 19/12/2023 16:43

Greekgreens · 19/12/2023 16:38

Most events will already have a system in place for those who can’t queue. For my family it really helps.

I was just going to say this, surely they would have some sort of system for those that couldn’t queue.

GreatAuntMaude · 19/12/2023 16:44

I would be a bit pissed off about it, depending on the issue.

If I had a fractious 3 year old, had patiently waited 2 hours, and your DD was 10 then yes I would be pissed off, but what can you say?

If your DD was also 3 or 4 then I would grumble internally a bit, because it's hard for any small child to wait in a line.

If my child was 7 plus and yours younger then I wouldn't mind.

I have 2 autistic kids and one with ADHD, and I have a child with a chronic health condition who has had visible tubes at various points (which didn't affect her ability to queue) and think that "can't queue" is a bit of a cop out, and treating disabled children as some kind of homogenous blob who all need to be allowed to cut in line because aww, poor things is a bit patronizing. If you have prearranged a special support of some sort or a priority queue that's completely fine.

QueenBean22 · 19/12/2023 16:44

@Letsgetouttahere2023

yeah everyone walks around with visible tubes don’t they?! Get over yourself please. Everyone behind would have waited an extra 2 minutes at the most

Motomum23 · 19/12/2023 16:44

I despair with humanity sometimes. No I wouldn't have minded - I would find myself thinking I'm so thankful not to have a child that couldn't wait in the cold for 2 hours without possibly becoming poorly.

FuckityFuckBollocks · 19/12/2023 16:46

No I wouldn’t mind at all

Megifer · 19/12/2023 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yea, can buy plastic tubes off Amazon and jab them up your nose, works every time for queue jumping 🙄

TomeTome · 19/12/2023 16:46

Nobody with any once of compassion would have the slightest problem with this.

gotomomo · 19/12/2023 16:47

Kind of depends on how disabled the child is, profoundly of course but if they had mild neurodiversity I would be annoyed because no way would I have let my dd push in, if she wants to do something she queues like everyone else. She has autism and complex mental health issues but im not one for special treatment, sorry but no kid likes queuing and it's not fair to push in

Electio7899 · 19/12/2023 16:47

Even if I had a toddler waiting with me I wouldn’t mind, and really, I would think very little of anyone that did.

Fundays12 · 19/12/2023 16:50

I wouldn't mind at all. My son has hidden disabilities and wouldn't manage an event like that but my other kids love them..I would happily let a clearly disabled child go in front. It might be they can only stay out so long because of the cold, Feeding tubes etc

gotomomo · 19/12/2023 16:50

@HollaHolla

Not being able to queue due to standing is very different to kids not wanting to stand still in the queue! With so many people, especially children technically having a disability these days you can't have a single rule - I'd always let someone struggling to stand past, whereas my friend uses a wheelchair and can queue easily

CatkinToadflax · 19/12/2023 16:50

DS1 has ASD and ADHD and genuinely can’t queue or cope in crowds. We get priority queueing and boarding in airports and I do cringe when we get taken straight to the front of a long queue. It’s the only way for us though.

quirkychick · 19/12/2023 16:51

Dd2 struggles to wait. She often uses a wheelchair, but the main issue is ASD. She'd be likely to have a meltdown and we'd have to leave if we couldn't go anywhere quickly.

SemperIdem · 19/12/2023 16:51

No, I wouldn’t mind. My daughter would probably suggest it herself to be honest!

Zanatdy · 19/12/2023 16:52

No absolutely not, I would have been happy to wait a few more mins in these circumstances

lostonmars · 19/12/2023 16:52

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:11

That's unfair. If your dd isn't well enough to wait you should have arranged with the organisers to come back at another scheduled time rather than let her push in front of little kids who've been waiting 2hrs in the cold, that's out of order

And what if there isn't another time? It would take 5 minutes tops. The difference is that the non-disabled children won't potentially get seriously ill from standing out there. Would waiting a few extra minutes for that really make you that angry?

Nevermind31 · 19/12/2023 16:52

I think it is fine… however, by say the 5th child I probably wouldn’t…

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