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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you say yes if at front of line and was asked to let a disabled child first ?

230 replies

Nearlyfinished2023 · 19/12/2023 16:06

Today my DD with her aunt went to some Xmas pop up thing, which had a character meet n Greet with one of her fav characters.
her rang me on the way home whilst I was talking with a friend and said how when they got there the line was massive and she took DD to the front to speak to the lady ( DD has visible tubes ) to ask how long the wait was in which they replied 2 hours. Aunt told DD there was no way she would stand in that cold for 2 hours and that maybe they could do something else. The worker then asked the front people if they didn’t mind if they Let her quickly run in to do the meet and greet, they were fine with this and DD got to go in.
my friend was mortified 😂 she was like I would be fuming and what about the people behind the first family what if they cared ?
she thinks it was very unfair as it was such a long line that everyone had to wait.
would you have minded ?

OP posts:
ohdamnitjanet · 19/12/2023 16:53

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:11

That's unfair. If your dd isn't well enough to wait you should have arranged with the organisers to come back at another scheduled time rather than let her push in front of little kids who've been waiting 2hrs in the cold, that's out of order

Well, aren’t you peachy.

Original poster
Nearlyfinished2023 · 19/12/2023 16:53

I am so lost 😅 did someone suggest I stick a tube on her 🙄🙈

OP posts:
LenaLamont · 19/12/2023 16:54

I wouldn't mind in the slightest.

Notmetoo · 19/12/2023 16:54

I would say most decent caring people would says it's fine. It sounds as though a two hour wait would be very difficult for her physically .

Megifer · 19/12/2023 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WalkingThroughTreacle · 19/12/2023 16:55

Not only would I not mind but if other people there did I would stand up vigorously for her and even give up my own space if it came to it. How bloody miserable would you have to be to begrudge a disabled child a bit of grace?

BeadedBubbles · 19/12/2023 16:55

I'd rethink your friendship op. Anyone who would take offence at this isn't worth the time of day.

ChihuahuaMummy · 19/12/2023 16:55

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:11

That's unfair. If your dd isn't well enough to wait you should have arranged with the organisers to come back at another scheduled time rather than let her push in front of little kids who've been waiting 2hrs in the cold, that's out of order

Seriously? The child had tubes and very obviously had health conditions. It's teaching the children who are waiting to put others before themselves.

OP, I would have absolutely no problem with this. I would have probably suggested it before the staff member had to ask.

brickastley · 19/12/2023 16:56

GreatAuntMaude · 19/12/2023 16:44

I would be a bit pissed off about it, depending on the issue.

If I had a fractious 3 year old, had patiently waited 2 hours, and your DD was 10 then yes I would be pissed off, but what can you say?

If your DD was also 3 or 4 then I would grumble internally a bit, because it's hard for any small child to wait in a line.

If my child was 7 plus and yours younger then I wouldn't mind.

I have 2 autistic kids and one with ADHD, and I have a child with a chronic health condition who has had visible tubes at various points (which didn't affect her ability to queue) and think that "can't queue" is a bit of a cop out, and treating disabled children as some kind of homogenous blob who all need to be allowed to cut in line because aww, poor things is a bit patronizing. If you have prearranged a special support of some sort or a priority queue that's completely fine.

You think accommodating disabled people is patronising Confused

ColleenDonaghy · 19/12/2023 16:56

Megifer · 19/12/2023 16:46

Yea, can buy plastic tubes off Amazon and jab them up your nose, works every time for queue jumping 🙄

Show quote history

There's an amazing case in Ireland ATM where a famous athlete faked cancer and defrauded people out of significant sums of money. There's an amazing photo online of him lying in bed, pretending to be ill with a phone charger stuck up his nose.

Obviously the case is appalling and the man in question should burn in hell - but feck that photo is hilarious.

Itslegitimatesalvage · 19/12/2023 16:57

But it doesn’t sound like she needed to skip because of your daughter’s disability. It was your aunt who just didn’t want to wait in the cold?
skipping because you have someone with a genuine need and they cannot wait, absolutely. Skipping because your aunt didn’t fancy waiting, absolutely not.

Verv · 19/12/2023 16:57

Nah I wouldn't mind at all.

WingsofRain · 19/12/2023 16:57

If she is ambulant then definitely - I’m a wheelchair user and so quite happy to wait in queues as I’m sitting down, but in the days when I was still able to walk a little I remember waiting for hours in a queue at I sci-fi convention so get an autograph and it was agony. They wouldn’t let any of the disabled fans there go to the front and the only place to sit down was on the floor.
When you have experienced this sort of thing yourself you know how awful it is having to stand.
YANBU.

Original poster
Nearlyfinished2023 · 19/12/2023 16:59

I don’t treat my child like a what do you call it a homogenous blob.
I treat her with circumstances in mind. She is an older primary school child but does not have the capabilities of one so her age does not come in to factor. If for example it was indoors and seating where she could maybe rest whilst the line was going down then I would make her wait.

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 19/12/2023 16:59

Ds is disabled. We've never asked in that situation but we have been at booked events where staff have just ushered us past the queue. I've always felt awkward about it, but thankfully no one has complained about it that we heard.

itsmyp4rty · 19/12/2023 16:59

I would never stand in a 2 hour queue to see a character! That sounds like madness.
When we were at an attraction in Ireland a boy with autism was walked past us to the front of the queue and I thought 'good to see they have access arrangements like that'. I have one with ASD too but fortunately he is ok with waiting, so not a problem for us.

Original poster
Nearlyfinished2023 · 19/12/2023 17:00

@Itslegitimatesalvage no her aunt had told my DD that she wouldn’t be able to wait and stand in the cold ( meaning my DD ) not her. I would not have let DD which she knew. I’m not sure I would have asked but I probably would have taken her home if no other option.

OP posts:
Wellhellooooodear · 19/12/2023 17:02

No I wouldn't mind

Itslegitimatesalvage · 19/12/2023 17:03

@Nearlyfinished2023
Ah, ok. I misunderstood. Then of course she should have skipped! It’s not giving her an advantage, it’s giving her the same opportunity as every other child. Other kids are perfectly capable of waiting; I mean, it’s annoying and boring but they’re not going to suffer for it. But your daughter would have actually suffered because of the wait, so she wouldn’t be able to see the character like the other kids did. Letting her go ahead just gives her the same opportunity that the ither kids get.

ManateeFair · 19/12/2023 17:03

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 19/12/2023 16:11

That's unfair. If your dd isn't well enough to wait you should have arranged with the organisers to come back at another scheduled time rather than let her push in front of little kids who've been waiting 2hrs in the cold, that's out of order

Apart from the fact that you don't seem to understand that coming back at another scheduled would not mean there was no queue, and would still have meant going in ahead of other people - the 'little kids' who had been waiting two hours in the cold a) only had to wait an additional couple of minutes at most to accommodate the OP's daughter and b) were physically capable of doing so, whereas the OP's daughter was not.

Do you also think people with disabilities shouldn't have allocated parking spaces that are closest to the supermarket, because that's not fair on able-bodied people who got there earlier than them?

A fair and equitable society, in which disabled kids have the same opportunities as non-disabled kids, means occasionally giving those kids a little bit more help than other kids would get, in order to allow them to participate. This isn't complicated stuff.

medianewbie · 19/12/2023 17:04

HardcoreLadyType · 19/12/2023 16:20

I feel like disabled children/people have already been given the short straw of life so why wouldnt we want to help them, even if it's just 5 minutes of our time

This really.

Agree.
I've had 2 people be really aggressive with me just this week - 1 queried my use of a blue badge space at parents evening - I have a blue badge due to very obvious mobilisation with double crutches - 1 got very upset that a train person let me through a barrier - not a queue - so I could get to a train. Both middle aged men would clearly swap my crutches (& pain) for my 'privilege'.

But to object to a CHILD? That's awful.

itsmylife7 · 19/12/2023 17:04

A visible disabled child I'd not mind in the slightest.

And if I heard anyone moaning I'd probably start a " debate "

MushMonster · 19/12/2023 17:04

Your friend can get lost!
Of course I would, anyone with a bit of heart would.

ChihuahuaMummy · 19/12/2023 17:05

It would also come under reasonable adjustments under the Equality Act to ensure those with a disability can access things the same as a non disabled person.

easylikeasundaymorn · 19/12/2023 17:06

ColleenDonaghy · 19/12/2023 16:56

There's an amazing case in Ireland ATM where a famous athlete faked cancer and defrauded people out of significant sums of money. There's an amazing photo online of him lying in bed, pretending to be ill with a phone charger stuck up his nose.

Obviously the case is appalling and the man in question should burn in hell - but feck that photo is hilarious.

Show quote history

Can you link this/provide the name? It sounds hilarious 😂

OP usually in pushing in questions I do think of all the people BEHIND the first person who is the only one who gets asked but in this case even if I was back of the queue my initial thought was id be fine with it - If dd wasn't able to wait 2 hours (or even if she technically could but it would tire her out disproportionately to a healthy child) then absolutely I'd have no issues with her going ahead. Most theme parks etc allow that as a matter of course. But an earlier poster does make a fair point that the way your post is worded suggests that it was literally just your sister who couldn't be arsed to wait rather than anything to do with dd so perhaps thats why your friend thinks its cheeky?