DH told MIL about my abortion

279 replies

NameeeeeeeChangeeeeed · 19/12/2023 12:50

I have been very depressed. He says he was worried about me and needed advice. So he told MIL everything without my permission.

We have a 3yr old child and the abortion was over the summer. MIL lives the other end of the country so she couldn't offer practical help. It was just emotional support for him.

I had specifically told him not share this with her. He claims not to remember that conversation. If he told a male friend for support then fine. But not MIL.

I feel shattered. I don't see how I can ever trust him with anything private or confidential again. He had no right to share my private medical information with his Mother.

Right now I feel like the relationship is over. We've been together a decade though, have a house and a child. But how can I stay living with a man where I have to hide secrets from him because he can't be trusted? She is the last person in the world I would confide in and he knows that. Now all their family will know.

OP posts:

crumblingschools · 22/12/2023 10:13

I’m with @Didimum I can’t see evidence of coercion. However, if there had been then telling MIL is the least of OP’s problems

LBFseBrom · 22/12/2023 13:30

I think the point now is, can the op forgive her husband's indiscretion and is it worth continuing the relationship? My opinion is, if it has been quite good up to now it is not something to be given up easily because of a breach of confidentiality, as long as he understands he was in the wrong and will not do it again. I haven't caught up with all the posts on this thread so may have missed something.

Lachimolala · 22/12/2023 20:11

PricklePop · 22/12/2023 09:19

The irony of accusing someone who disagrees with you on such a benign topic as spewing 'hatred, bigotry and ignorance' is off the charts.

At times Mumsnet can be extreme in taking the side of women. But I'm this case, you have no right to know intimate details of another woman's body.

You should encourage your adult son to seek appropriate support from other people (friends, siblings, MH professionals...) and respect his wife who had a very simple ask from him.

Not complain because he doesn't share every sordid detail with you. So unhealthy and the 'it's abuse of a man' is just an excuse to be nosy. Nightmare mil does not even begin to cover it.

Lol is that what she said about me before it was deleted? Deary me 😂

girlfriend44 · 22/12/2023 21:43

It's done now, surely not worth throwing your marriage away.

That would just add another whole layer of problems.

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