To just not send in a packed lunch?

[Unpackedlunch]

Ds is 3, started at a preschool in September. All fine, except it’s a packed lunch and ds doesn’t eat it. Every time he goes I send him with a sandwich, fruit and crisps and every time he comes back with the crisps eaten and nothing else.

I definitely don’t want to be That Parent and the staff are lovely and I don’t want to risk antagonising them, but I can’t see the point of wasting food. It’s also one more thing to do and I know it doesn’t take long but that’s not the point. Would it really be unreasonable to just not bother? It looks neglectful I know but equally what’s the point of sending in food for the sake of it?

Don't send crisps and see if eats something else /fruit or Sarnie

I think you've lost the plot with this @Unpackedlunch

You said he won't eat at pre school.

And it's for one, or both of these.

He isn't hungry (I can't understand why a child at an afternoon sessions eats lunch there and not at home, first.)

He won't sit down and eat, and has been allowed to eat at home, 'grazing' - not sitting at the table.

Instead of being sarcastic, maybe take in what a lot of posters are saying.

You asked for advice but are putting the blame on him.

You are the parent. Look at your parenting skills and maybe try to accept you are not always right?

Stop the crisps? Maybe he'll eat the other bits then

How about varying some shelf stable snacks that are a little healthier than crisps? No extra work for you, no waste and DC can eat if they want to. Things like:

• dried fruit - raisins and apple slices etc
• Roasted chickpeas, edamame or corn etc
• popcorn
• chickpea puffs
• Seaweed
• Rice cakes
• jerky

Most of these things come pre packaged, or you could make up little baggies from big packs. Anything returned uneaten can just be kept for the next snack.

You care that much to post and ask and now you’ve had answers you don’t like you are throwing your toys out of the pram!
as if you’d even ask about not sending them with food- absolutely mad!

Underweight. To illustrate. You can be thin and survive. Had school lunches ate them but still skinny.

@DragonMama3 but just stating your weight and not height means absolutely nothing !

It illustrates precisely nothing!

Hence, my what is the relevance of just randomly stating your weight.

I'd bet my last pound YOUR MUM gave you a lunch either a school dinner or packed lunch. Every single day.

Asda sell cheap boxes of kids packed lunch items. Go have a look. Makes packed lunch easier tbh

PS You ok hun?

Just don't send crisps. My almost 3 year old has never taken crisps I to school, same as my 5 and 7 year old

I've 3 children. Not one educational institution has ever permitted crisps because of healthy eating school status.

😀

It would be funny if it wasn't a sad situation for these two little ones. Can't fathom the idea that OP thinks not eating at a table at home isn't related.

My DD was the same, she never ate anything. In the end DMIL suggested buying party bags and putting everything in there all together cut to the same size. So we got those pink and white paper striped bags and every day she had a crustless sandwich (usually ham or sliced chicken) some cubes of mild cheddar cheese, an orange (all peeled and segmented and one of those tiny bags of animal biscuits or mini cookies. Literally everything just went in the bag together - no packaging or wrapping, all cut up. Lo and behold she’d sit there eating from her ‘party bag’ like it was a bag of sweets.

I absolutely love this! That's bloody ingenious!!

Honestly the fact that you are more concerned about wasting effort trying to feed your child, than about your child not eating at school, makes me wonder what is going on. At 3 it really isn't ok to be going 6-8 hours without food. Rather than not send him with a lunch, maybe bother to try different options and see what he will eat?!

Of course you do need to send it. You need to meet with staff to discuss a plan for ensuring he starts to eat it. E g. X amount of sandwich then crisps.

I'm just laughing at someone on the first page suggesting to try sushi in their pack up.

Why go for sushi @Crishell when there’s perfectly good quails eggs to be had?! 😂

My 2yo absolutely loves avocado sushi, his absolute fav. I had never thought of it but his friend was eating it and he tried it. Loves the mushroom one on the tofu envelope thing as well as the Seaweed Salad 🙂

Talk to preschool. Don’t worry about being ‘that parent’. I think it is normal that you would be concerned about your 3yo not eating. Equally, The adults that are paid to look after him should care about his well-being too and eating is part of this.

She isn't entirely daft. We'd report repeated failure to provide a balanced lunch, just not without talking to the parent first.

We had a child who went home straight after our lunch time, and had a "proper lunch" with his parents then. It was agreed he could just bring a healthy snack for while the others were eating if he wanted, but if they'd not discussed that with us it would have been a cause for concern.

Talk to staff, see what they suggest - what does his best friend have, maybe being the same would appeal? Does he eat at snack time? Do they actively encourage/help open things or is it a dinner supervisor situation with too many to oversee (shouldn't be at this age, but I have seen it)?

i have taught a few Nursery and Reception children who struggle to ‘keep going’ without the encouragement or spoon feeding you describe. Parents always seem surprised they don’t eat well when asked to eat independently yet they aren’t helped to do so at home. Reception might seem a long time away but he won’t suddenly change unless he’s helped at home.

You're making this all your son's issue when really it's a parenting issue.

I don't get why he has to eat his lunch the minute he's in pre-school, if it's an afternoon session (surely those children who only go for the afternoon eat at home not at pre-school?)

Anyway, whatever the system is....

it's clear that he won't sit still at a table and eat, he gets distracted, so he only eats the food he wants to and leaves the rest.

Can you not see that you need to work on this at home?
You admit he grazes and you don't make him sit at the table.
Does he ever sit down to eat hot food? Or is he up and down, wandering around?

Come on- face up to this. Stop getting bolshie when posters tell you that it's up to you to change his habits at home.

It's no different to sending a child to school not potty trained or unable to dress themselves. If you don't expect him to sit down to eat at home, well, why would he at pre school?

Your other posts show you are rigid in your thinking about lots of stuff.
If you want your child to change, you have to change your parenting style.

Start thinking about rewards for good behaviour and setting some expectations at home that will be carried over into pre-school.

And I agree 100% with @1AngelicFruitCake She's saying the same thing just more concisely that I have!

At my dd pre school Afternoon children can eat lunch there or at home

Arrive 1145 eat lunch with kids and learn good eating manners and
Start 1230

Or

Start 1230 having lunch at home

So yes normal to eat lunch as soon as get there if like above

Anyone who is saying it's unreasonable to ask them to encourage him to eat is being ridiculous! Of course they should encourage them to eat, they are small children who are easily distracted. My grandson's pre-school they will encourage the children and help them if necessary, any pre-school that isn't doing that is not somewhere I'd want to send children. I would have a word with his keyworker and say you are concerned he is not really eating anything and what could they suggest.