Not letting ex take baby on Xmas Day?

[confusedex2]

I have a DC with my ex who is 10 months old.

Ex has never had DC alone and sees them sporadically (once went almost 2 months without a visit) although has been getting better recently.

Exes parents have also only seen DC a few times. I've offered and invited them to things, offered to meet, but they've not taken me up on offers.

Ex wants to take DC to his parents for half the day on Xmas and thinks it's his and his parents right to have baby there on Xmas Day.

I've offered ex and his parents to come here and visit DC, but he thinks I'm being unreasonable to not let him take baby. His parents live 2 hours away and I'm also still breastfeeding.

Ex isn't on the BC. He does pay maintenance now though (after I went to CMS).

AIBU? Thanks

When MN is good, it is very, very good, but when it is bad it is horrid. 😉

How did things pan out OP? I hope you had a lovely Christmas

Call his bluff now and ask him which days he would have the little one if he wants 50/50. Would save you at least a day or two of nursery costs if those are his days. Even more if you can work all of the days he wants (I'm presuming here he'll ask for weekend days). Once he realises you're serious he'll likely back off. If not then at least you know where you are and might be able to save a bit of money

And also I know it's over with now but there was nothing stopping them from travelling to see the baby. You have invited them and they said no so they're the ones stopping themselves from seeing the little one on Xmas day

Hi, just wanted to say I hope you all had a lovely Christmas!

To update, I had a lovely day with my little one, a relaxing morning playing with toys and eating rubbish... I had Xmas dinner with my friend who is also a single parent so that was really nice!

My ex did make the trip up in the evening to see the little one for a couple of hours which I accommodated. At least he made the effort! The parents didn't come of course.

He did ask me again on Xmas day again if I was "sure" about not coming... I said yes. He then asked if it was too late for him to come over.

So he didn't relent to the final minute. But my little on had a nice day and had a nice couple of hours playing with Dad so that's what matters I guess. Not that they will remember.

I'm glad I posted here as it gave me the confidence to stick to what I knew was best for me and LO. Thank you all for the advice.

I’m really glad you had a lovely Christmas, that you held firm and that your DD’s dad eventually bothered putting in the effort to see her too. Good for you for letting him do it while also sticking to your own terms. Happy new year 🎉

Good outcome. You’ll both remember though, hopefully he realises it was worth it and will make more effort for future. Continue to hold your boundaries while accommodating quality time for you and him with your little one xx

Well done! And the vile parents missed out on seeing their grandchild entirely because of their own behaviour and attitude to you.

Glad to hear it OP. You deserved a nice day.

Keep protecting your boundaries and your peace. It will be a marathon not a sprint with that family.

I’m glad you had a lovely Christmas x

Well done. That's great.

Glad you had a fab day! And that dad made the effort ❤️

Glad you had a lovely day and that making your boundaries clear with your ex worked well. Tbh it was better for your ex as well as his plan would have been stressful for him as well as your little one

Tell them to take a short walk off a high cliff. Why do they want to see the baby when they didn't want you to have a baby? They want you to apologise for having the baby?!

The baby doesn't know them, barely knows your ex, so not acceptable for them to have baby for several hours without you. Don't feel guilty - they are at fault. Your ex is a piece of work, hasn't a proven track record and didn't even support baby until you took action.

Have you been preoccupied the last few months @GillianCarole ? Christmas has come and gone