CF Sister in Law

[DailyMailHater]

SIL has been having a hard time recently, end of long term relationship and made redundant and is struggling for money , she called DH yesterday to say she has no food in the cupboards and no money.

Dh and I each pay 50/50 on household bills etc and then all other finances are separate , DH said he didn’t have much to help her at the moment, but I said I could as I have some extra this month due to Xmas bonus… so suggested we do an online food shop for her to be delivered this week, (she lives 3hrs away) , my view is she is family and if you can help out, you help out.

DH spoke to her and she said that would be really appreciated and then proceeded to send an extensive list through (first hint of CF!)

I managed to get a delivery slot with her local supermarket for Tuesday afternoon and added everything off her list - mostly tins and frozen foods so long lasting and should keep her going for a while, I then added a few extras like her fav biscuits, a bottle of wine and some flowers just to cheer her up as she is really down at the money in total it came to almost £200

DH text her and confirmed delivery date and time etc (was surprised to get a slot - Xmas week!) all good.

She has then called today and asked if we can see if we can change delivery to Tuesday morning as she has booked a last minute 2-day spa break (about 1.5hrs away from her home) to relax and de-stress from all the recent upset and needs to leave at lunch time on Tuesday to “make the most of it”

I am shocked that she feels it is ok to do this after pleading poverty - i said DH should ask where this money suddenly came from considering I have just done her food shop for her he says it is none of our business….

I am happy to help family out but this is totally taking the piss isn’t it?

Or, to frame it the other way, somebody whose husband has just died and all she can think about is to use it as an opportunity to pretend she's struggling to afford the essentials, so that people will give her money that she can go on a shopping spree with.

Seriously?

It does sound as if SIL has realised the error of her ways

Realises she's got caught out, more like!

I do feel slightly sorry for her, though - a bad relationship breakdown can leave you feeling worthless and unattractive. Maybe she's trying to fill a void - this doesn't excuse her actions, but if the is unusual behaviour for her, it makes it a bit more understandable.

Agree with keeping the shopping to the basics, but I wouldn't cut off contact as long as this stayed as a one-off.

I should not engage further with her at all. Otherwise it would be draining experience leading to depression. This is what I would have to do. As I have experience if dealing with people like this.
I once took a ex work colleague off the street from near homelessness. Once In my spare room, continued with asking for extra items, did not pay rent only half the time, laid in the bath for hours using ALL hot water up, then continued to moan, complain!!!!!!!!!!!! Not surprisingly, I had to grey Rock, then one month notice to quit. I COULD NOT BELIEVE HOW UNGRATEFUL A B IT WAS.

Exactly id wonder if she had form before and that's why he doesn't seem bothered really!

Yes, seriously - if you read my whole comment and not just the first part that you quoted.

My sister in law copies everything i do and it’s starting to get on my nerves.
she is my boyfriend’s sister ive allways had a good relationship with her she never used to copy me but now since weve both had kids my two boys are 6 and 4 and she had a 5 year old son and 4 year old daughter she has started copying everything to the way i dress the way i decorate my house and she buys everything the same as i do for my kids if she can afford it but if she cant she will say something like she doesn’t like it and i have quite a unique style i wont buy clothes and shoes that everyone els has but she will get everything that i have a few weeks or months later, even her sister and our other sister in law has said they have noticed, ive even noticed she follows all my friends on social media’s most of them she doesn’t even know. This seems like more of a rant but i just dont know what to do

Start a new thread instead of hitchhiking on an old one !

Waah waah