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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Boxing Day is for family and not football?

348 replies

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:38

So sick of it! Every year, DH and DS want to go to DH’s hometown to watch the Boxing Day game. Plans have to be worked around this and given it’s an 8 hour round trip, it’s pretty much an overnight stay. If we’re with the in-laws for Christmas, fine, crack on. But when we’re in our home town and have other family to see, really?! It also means an early night Christmas Day as they want to be up and out to get to the game on Boxing Day the next morning 😭

OP posts:
UsingChangeofName · 17/12/2023 21:10

but I just want a family day with us all lounging around in PJs and eating chocolates!

and you got that for a few years, when the dc were little. Now it is dh's turn to introduce his tradition to his dc. Seems fair to me.

NaughtybutNice77 · 17/12/2023 21:12

Who else is in the family? If I got left with young kids I'd be pissed off. If hes taking all the kids and they want to go I'd probably join them every now n then but make alternative arrangements for that day. Depending how you feel I might make a point of choosing another day for 'me' for example NYE and leave him out. Of course that's not gonna work if you didnt want to go out.
It doesnt sound like hes opted out of family life, it's just the family want to do something you dont like. Its tough but idont think hes being unreasonable.

SliceOfBread · 17/12/2023 21:12

OP - how would you feel if DH stopped you going to something you and one of your DS wanted and had been looking forward to for months - say a gig - to lounge around in pyjamas on the off chance someone might pop in?

Also… how do you think your DS would feel about it?

ForTonightGodisaDJ · 17/12/2023 21:16

Sounds like a family tradition it's not the end of the world - road trips are fun!

UsingChangeofName · 17/12/2023 21:17

YABVVVU.

Listen to yourself.
You want to prevent your dh and dc from starting up a tradition that your dh no doubt did with his family, but put on hold when your kids were small, so you can just slob around the house. You have no plan. He is not stopping you doing Boxing Day as you want to do, but you think he ought to do that forever, because what you want to do somehow has more sway over what dh and dc1 want to do ??? Hmm

ThisIsntThe80sPat · 17/12/2023 21:17

Why can't you have your lazy boxing day with the other two children? (Unless they're very young?)

Cosyblankets · 17/12/2023 21:20

It was never an issue when the DC were younger as he just didn’t go

Might not have been an issue for you but it might have been for him.

TedandRebecca4eva · 17/12/2023 21:21

I've cancelled all relatives to go to a Boxing Day match and I can't wait

SheIsStuck23 · 17/12/2023 21:21

My husband has been going to watch his team play football in Boxing Day for well over 10 years, and as our children got older he started taking them too.

Just leave him be.

I love a quiet Boxing Day without them 😂

mottytotty · 17/12/2023 21:24

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:59

@beanontoast - not made up, I’d like the option to have Xmas with family at Xmas, lounge around when they’ve gone and not have to plan everything around a football game halfway across the country.

But your plans consist of the whole family sitting in pyjamas eating chocolates. It’s not like that takes a lot of planning.

Theoldwoman · 17/12/2023 21:24

Boxing Day is my favourite day of the year!

We do what we want.
Chill, mostly.
Eat leftovers.
Take the tree down, all crap away.
Nap.
Watch the BD cricket 🏏

Crikeyalmighty · 17/12/2023 21:27

@Goodadvice1980 yep I find all this 'family time' stuff very American- and often involves actually doing nothing different to normal but all feeling obliged to be doing the same thing.

Mind you I have to be honest and say I've never lounged around in PJs in the house ever. My H would ask me if I wasn't well- lol

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 17/12/2023 21:29

Could you turn Christmas eve into the day to go see family, have people round and have a big dinner then a quieter day on Christmas with just immediate family then a rest on boxing day while DS and DH go to the game?

JackieQueen · 17/12/2023 21:36

Sounds like my idea of a nightmare! So glad my dh hates football as much as I do! 😄

Westfacing · 17/12/2023 21:39

It was never an issue when the DC were younger as he just didn’t go. Now one DS is old enough to do the journey, they head off and I’m left with the other two

So, you husband didn't selfishly go on his own and leave you with the children when they were younger - sounds like a decent husband there. Now one child is old enough they go together which, as others have said, is a great father/son bonding exercise and a national tradition for Boxing Day.

Only on MN do people want to stay in PJs all day and eat chocolates!

BuggersMuddle · 17/12/2023 21:47

Unless you never get downtime together (or you’re being left with some massive work you’ve not mentioned) why would you stop your OH / son going to the football in favour of a slobbing about the house? Why can’t you slob about on another day of the holiday, the following weekend or NYE / NYD.

Jumpingthruhoops · 17/12/2023 21:56

But they want to do something else! And if you're a footy fan, boxing day is a big deal. So, yes, YABU.

Yoloohno · 17/12/2023 22:02

I join in with the dh and the kids when it comes to the Boxing Day/ New Year’s Day fixture. They’re season ticket holders so it’s non negotiable.

We’re away Boxing Day but if I can get a ticket we’ll be there New Year’s Day as a family.

Sometimes you do something that might not be your first choice to be with the rest of the family.

MadisonAvenue · 18/12/2023 02:20

TedandRebecca4eva · 17/12/2023 21:21

I've cancelled all relatives to go to a Boxing Day match and I can't wait

Same here, we were invited to family but I’m going to a match with my 23 year old.

I’ve been taking him since he was 4 and we’ve got season tickets together. This is the first home game on a Boxing Day since 2019 so we’re really looking forward to it. We’ve also managed to get tickets for the away game on the 30th.

My husband has no interest in football but enjoys cycling and running so spends time doing that. I’d never dream of asking him not to, just as he’s never asked me not to go to a match.

I love that even though our son’s an adult with a busy life etc we have this shared interest which goes back nearly 20 years.

Rickenbackergoodgrief · 18/12/2023 03:42

I'd be going to the match just to get away from a boring day lazing around in PJ's while eating chocolate and wondering if a relative will drop in.
Do you often laze around in PJ's, scoffing chocolate while entertaining visitors?

sadbutdontknowwhy · 18/12/2023 04:36

TinselTitts · 17/12/2023 19:41

Boxing Day is different for different families.

Here, it's a completely chilled day where we all do whatever we want and everyone feeds themselves - utter bliss after all the pre-Christmas rushing around!

Same here
DS15 is off to the Boxing Day football with his mates

HeraSyndulla · 18/12/2023 04:40

Don’t think you’ll win that one.

Gillypie23 · 18/12/2023 05:26

There's always football on boxing day. That's tradition.

TedandRebecca4eva · 18/12/2023 06:21

@MadisonAvenue that's lovely. I'm also going with my 2 sons. We also had a season ticket for years starting when the youngest was 6. Stopped in lockdown. Their dad was useless and had no interest in doing anything with them so I took them. They are 22 and 20 now and it's great. Not many things they will go to with their old mum these days. Hope your team win.

WandaWonder · 18/12/2023 06:23

It was a tradition in my husbands family long before I and our child came along so if it happens it happens - same as we do some of my traditions