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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Boxing Day is for family and not football?

348 replies

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:38

So sick of it! Every year, DH and DS want to go to DH’s hometown to watch the Boxing Day game. Plans have to be worked around this and given it’s an 8 hour round trip, it’s pretty much an overnight stay. If we’re with the in-laws for Christmas, fine, crack on. But when we’re in our home town and have other family to see, really?! It also means an early night Christmas Day as they want to be up and out to get to the game on Boxing Day the next morning 😭

OP posts:
Ragwort · 17/12/2023 20:32

If my DH expected me to 'lounge around in my PJs scoffing chocolates' instead of doing something for myself (& DC) I would think he was being a controlling twat ... do what you want but surely you would encourage your DH to take your DS to enjoy a football match ... you are not joined at the hip. If other your family members want to drop in you just explain that DH is watching football.

EddieHowesShithousingMags · 17/12/2023 20:32

We played away last year so weren’t at the match but DH, BIL (who ended up at ours all day) and I all roundly agreed we had the best Boxing Day ever watching three games one after the other as Amazon showed them all.

I think given your husband and son have this planned (and despite your moaning this is actually the first time they have ever done it) you are so unreasonable to be miffed they aren’t planning on lying on the sofa with you eating chocolate. I’d be really pissed off if I was your DH and you tried to put a dampener on me doing something nice with my child that we both enjoy, just because you don’t like the idea of what we’re doing.

Benibidibici · 17/12/2023 20:32

Also agreed that if your husband and son are going together, and staying over with his parents, that is family isnt it

Livelovebehappy · 17/12/2023 20:34

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:42

@TinselTitts - exactly! That’s what I want. It was never an issue when the DC were younger as he just didn’t go. Now one DS is old enough to do the journey, they head off and I’m left with the other two. We can still have a nice day but I just want a family day with us all lounging around in PJs and eating chocolates!

But your idea of bliss might be lounging around in PJs eating chocolate, but what if theirs isn’t? I like hitting the sales on Boxing Day with my daughter. Husband would hate it and stays home chilling. Both of us appreciate the fact that each of us is doing something we want to do. I’d never make another person stay home with me just to eat chocolate in our PJs if they would be happier doing something else. It’s quite controlling.

cantbecaught · 17/12/2023 20:35

It would be a massive mistake to force them to hang around the house for no clear purpose when they had planned something specific to enjoy. I can assure you no-one will have a nice day as they'll be thinking all the time, I could have been out doing my chosen activity. Everyone loses. Let them go with good grace and you'll all have a nicer Christmas.

MargaritaThyme · 17/12/2023 20:37

YABU.

By bedtime on Christmas Day, I’m always completely sick & tired of Christmas, crap TV & family. Me & DP always go to a sporting event on Boxing Day, whether it’s racing, rugby or football. Anything is better than more sitting around at home. Except, perhaps, going to the bloody shops.

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 17/12/2023 20:38

2023 Christnas day at home, boxing day football and overnight with his parents - rest of the break available to do stuff?
2022 Christmas at his parents
2021 DS had covid
2020 lockdown restriction
Pre 2020 too young?

So he has stopped doing something important to him to be with his young family but now wants to restart.

YABVU. But you won't admit that.

Lovelyjubbbly · 17/12/2023 20:39

Grow up! It’s only football and a lot of important football games are on in Boxing Day it’s there tradition and they must like it get with the times u can’t pick and choose what they can and can’t don

baileybrosbuildingandloan · 17/12/2023 20:40

Well there's been football on Boxing Day as long as I can remember!
So not sure that you're correct really!

Whattodowithit88 · 17/12/2023 20:40

If you can’t beat them, join them! Have you ever been to a match before? I’m a complete snob if I’m honest with regards to football but went once and boy was that a learning curve, it was absolutely brilliant! It’s the fans that make the game, gives so much atmosphere…it really was a good time and you could feel the passion in the air.

I haven’t been since as I do other stuff when they go football now, but it’s easier for me to understand why it’s so important to them now, than before I went myself.

Goodadvice1980 · 17/12/2023 20:43

Cannot understand this obsession with mandatory “family time”. It’s not a regiment. Boxing Day is just another bank holiday. Nothing to stop you sitting in pj’s & eating chocolate that day. 🎄🍫🍫 🍫

Isometimeswonder · 17/12/2023 20:45

Father and son sharing time together vs sitting around in PJs (on devices?)

Whiskers4 · 17/12/2023 20:46

If you can't beat them, join them. I moaned about DH's interest for a few years, but slowly got involved, so much so, I'm just as passionate and him and want to be included in events.

If you really don't want go, see your family without them.

SwordToFlamethrower · 17/12/2023 20:46

Gutted for you!

Please, please go do something really fun, just for you!

arethereanyleftatall · 17/12/2023 20:48

Yabu.

I don't get your kind of thought process op. I just don't get it. Why would you want them to sit doing nothing when they'd rather be somewhere else? How much fun would that be? Would you like them to fake that they're happy or what?

They are creating a lovely father/son tradition and you're essentially looking to piss on that. I think you need to examine your motives.

If you wanted to be with someone who wanted to sit around on Boxing Day, then you should have thought about when you picked a partner.

bellac11 · 17/12/2023 20:48

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:42

@TinselTitts - exactly! That’s what I want. It was never an issue when the DC were younger as he just didn’t go. Now one DS is old enough to do the journey, they head off and I’m left with the other two. We can still have a nice day but I just want a family day with us all lounging around in PJs and eating chocolates!

But they dont want that

You do what makes you happy and they can do what makes them happy

Prettypaisleyslippers · 17/12/2023 20:49

I totally embrace the Boxing day footfall, let them get on with it. Do your own thing

TheThingIsYeah · 17/12/2023 20:50

Boxing Day is a massive football day and gets the biggest attendances. You're lucky OP, until the 60s they used to play on Xmas Day, indeed in non-league the local derby double headers carried on until around 1970 maybe even later.

Much better way to spend a bank holiday that get up at 5am to buy last season's shite at a Next sale.

KombuchaKalling · 17/12/2023 20:52

Every year?! Nah, l wouldn’t be getting involved. Way too tying and boring. I would stay at home with TV and chocolate or go to the sales. Kids can go with him

BrimfulOfMash · 17/12/2023 20:56

Lounge around with the ones that don’t go to the match!

Or start your own tradition: go to the panto with the other kids on Boxjng Day.

Wanting your DH and eldest to miss the Boxing Day Match in order to ‘lounge around and eat chocolate’ is v unreasonable. Enjoy their enthusiasm!

bellac11 · 17/12/2023 20:58

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:50

@beanontoast - I wouldn’t ask them not to go for no reason! But I would like them to be around so other relatives can call in, we can see my family and do family events with them, not have to have Christmas Day with the prospect of an early start on Boxing Day and then probably not setting off home until the 27th as they’ll inevitably decide to stay with PIL for the night.

Why cant other relatives call in?

Ejismyf · 17/12/2023 21:00

I think that's a lovely tradition for them to start and would absolutely support it. Your wants doesn't trump theirs.

BackToWhereItAllBegan · 17/12/2023 21:01

My Dad took my brother and I to many football games when we were growing up and it's some of my most cherished childhood memories.
I live overseas now but on the years we go home for Christmas, going to the Boxing Day game with my dad is a particular highlight and I can't imagine my mum insisting we all stay in the house with her to lounge around and eat chocolates instead!

Ingibjörg · 17/12/2023 21:05

I hate football every day of the year. Sadly, DH doesn’t feel the same. So he watches the footy. I’ve made my peace with it, have other days!

alexisccd · 17/12/2023 21:09

YABVU!!!! controlling much - day larding on sofa eating chocolates sounds dire, no wonder he wants to be off and away, but each to their own...

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