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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Boxing Day is for family and not football?

348 replies

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:38

So sick of it! Every year, DH and DS want to go to DH’s hometown to watch the Boxing Day game. Plans have to be worked around this and given it’s an 8 hour round trip, it’s pretty much an overnight stay. If we’re with the in-laws for Christmas, fine, crack on. But when we’re in our home town and have other family to see, really?! It also means an early night Christmas Day as they want to be up and out to get to the game on Boxing Day the next morning 😭

OP posts:
beanontoast · 17/12/2023 19:47

If you actually wanted to do something on Boxing Day then I’d have more sympathy, but wanting to stop your husband and son doing a nice bonding activity together so you can laze around doing nothing is not only bizarre but frankly quite controlling. Do it on the 27th.

Vegetus · 17/12/2023 19:47

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:42

@TinselTitts - exactly! That’s what I want. It was never an issue when the DC were younger as he just didn’t go. Now one DS is old enough to do the journey, they head off and I’m left with the other two. We can still have a nice day but I just want a family day with us all lounging around in PJs and eating chocolates!

That sounds boring. No wonder they want to go the football.

CrapBucket · 17/12/2023 19:48

All the more chocolate for you surely, I see this as a total win win situation

ThatDamnedDog · 17/12/2023 19:48

How does your husband’s team manage to get a home match every Boxing Day?

Why is your day off lounging around in pyjamas and eating chocolates more acceptable than some family members going to the football?

Why does everyone have to have an early night because some of your family are getting up early?

Would your DH and DS stay home if there were actual plans or a day out?

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 17/12/2023 19:49

I'm assuming this isn't every weekend aa well? This sounds like a great father child tradition.

HarrietofFire · 17/12/2023 19:50

Boxing Day football is the best!

PhulNana · 17/12/2023 19:50

stargirl1701 · 17/12/2023 19:40

That is one reason I chose a rugby playing DH!

I once finished it with a man because he was a keen soccer fan. After three dates, when it came out. Never dated a rugby bloke.

Xmasisoffsantahascovid · 17/12/2023 19:50

It's everyone's Christmas op. And dh's has a game on the cards... Just as yours has pj's and chocs!! Maybe a tad more respect for him? Before long you can add another dc to his day and 1 less to yours no?

Original poster
Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:50

@beanontoast - I wouldn’t ask them not to go for no reason! But I would like them to be around so other relatives can call in, we can see my family and do family events with them, not have to have Christmas Day with the prospect of an early start on Boxing Day and then probably not setting off home until the 27th as they’ll inevitably decide to stay with PIL for the night.

OP posts:
ianshe · 17/12/2023 19:51

It's a lovely tradition.

You want them to stay at home instead of doing something once a year that brings them joy just to keep you company while eating chocolates in your pjs ?

Sleepygrumpyandnothappy · 17/12/2023 19:52

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:42

@TinselTitts - exactly! That’s what I want. It was never an issue when the DC were younger as he just didn’t go. Now one DS is old enough to do the journey, they head off and I’m left with the other two. We can still have a nice day but I just want a family day with us all lounging around in PJs and eating chocolates!

But you can’t still do that, you’re just one son down?

Anyway, YABU. Football is a Boxing Day thing for football fans and it’s cute they now have a father-son thing. And what are you doing on Christmas Day that an early night is a problem?!

Sirzy · 17/12/2023 19:53

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:42

@TinselTitts - exactly! That’s what I want. It was never an issue when the DC were younger as he just didn’t go. Now one DS is old enough to do the journey, they head off and I’m left with the other two. We can still have a nice day but I just want a family day with us all lounging around in PJs and eating chocolates!

If all you want to do is lounge I can’t see why those who want to go out going out is an issue.

how does them being out stop you lounging

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 17/12/2023 19:53

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:50

@beanontoast - I wouldn’t ask them not to go for no reason! But I would like them to be around so other relatives can call in, we can see my family and do family events with them, not have to have Christmas Day with the prospect of an early start on Boxing Day and then probably not setting off home until the 27th as they’ll inevitably decide to stay with PIL for the night.

Then meet up with family on the 28th, 29th 30th! Lots of options. This is reasonable to do something they both enjoy and your son will cherish the memories of.

In a few years he can take them all!

betterangels · 17/12/2023 19:54

YABU. It's something they enjoy doing together. Let them.

beanontoast · 17/12/2023 19:54

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:50

@beanontoast - I wouldn’t ask them not to go for no reason! But I would like them to be around so other relatives can call in, we can see my family and do family events with them, not have to have Christmas Day with the prospect of an early start on Boxing Day and then probably not setting off home until the 27th as they’ll inevitably decide to stay with PIL for the night.

Given you said in another post you want them to be at home in pjs lazing about, this new addition of ‘family events’ ‘relatives dropping in’ sounds made up. Sorry. And if you don’t see your husband’s PIL on Christmas Day what’s wrong with your husband and son staying with them the night of Boxing Day? They are your husband’s family? Very controlling tbh

keffie12 · 17/12/2023 19:55

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:38

So sick of it! Every year, DH and DS want to go to DH’s hometown to watch the Boxing Day game. Plans have to be worked around this and given it’s an 8 hour round trip, it’s pretty much an overnight stay. If we’re with the in-laws for Christmas, fine, crack on. But when we’re in our home town and have other family to see, really?! It also means an early night Christmas Day as they want to be up and out to get to the game on Boxing Day the next morning 😭

It's perfectly natural in a lot of families.

Having been bought up 4th generation of in my family, with an afc family run too, as well as P.F you lived, breathed, died it and were spoon-fed the beautiful game.

If you came into our family, get used to it. I love the game and my club.

Have you thought of going with them? You may enjoy it. The atmosphere is far different from TV

BooksAndHooks · 17/12/2023 19:55

It’s Ds’ birthday, we always hope for a home game for Boxing Day to celebrate his birthday. Love Boxing Day football. It won’t be every year unless they travel to the away games as well. You don’t get a home game every Boxing Day.

Deargodletitgo · 17/12/2023 19:55

You've just inspired me to suggest to DP that we go to the football boxing day or new Year's Day..

Original poster
Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:56

@ianshe - they go up a fair few weekends through the year as well. And want to go again to a home game on the Saturday after.

To everyone questioning the timeline, last year we were at the PILs for Xmas so it was less of a thing. DS had Covid the Christmas before so no one went anywhere and then 2020 was lockdown. 4 years ago, DS was too young to travel that far for an afternoon standing out in the cold. This year has seen a real increase in regular travel to the game, but we live where we live and not there! It’d be different if it was a match down the road, definitely.

OP posts:
Deargodletitgo · 17/12/2023 19:57

Sounds like a great DH/DS Xmas tradition

SgtJuneAckland · 17/12/2023 19:58

@Felicityfennel and some people don't like lazing around doing nothing. I'd rather be up and out. You can lounge around not getting dressed anytime if it's your thing, they're not compelling you to go with them, so you do what you like and let them do what they like

Sirzy · 17/12/2023 19:58

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:56

@ianshe - they go up a fair few weekends through the year as well. And want to go again to a home game on the Saturday after.

To everyone questioning the timeline, last year we were at the PILs for Xmas so it was less of a thing. DS had Covid the Christmas before so no one went anywhere and then 2020 was lockdown. 4 years ago, DS was too young to travel that far for an afternoon standing out in the cold. This year has seen a real increase in regular travel to the game, but we live where we live and not there! It’d be different if it was a match down the road, definitely.

So after all of the fuss this is actually the first time they have done it from home?

Original poster
Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:59

@beanontoast - not made up, I’d like the option to have Xmas with family at Xmas, lounge around when they’ve gone and not have to plan everything around a football game halfway across the country.

OP posts:
beanontoast · 17/12/2023 20:00

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:59

@beanontoast - not made up, I’d like the option to have Xmas with family at Xmas, lounge around when they’ve gone and not have to plan everything around a football game halfway across the country.

so you want your husband and son to cancel an actual arranged event so you can have the ‘option’ of something that may not even happen? Sorry but you sound awful

Sirzy · 17/12/2023 20:01

When I was younger my rugby team always had a Boxing Day game against our biggest rivals. When we were home it was 20 minutes walk from my Grandmothers. Me and my Dad would have loved to go every year but where made to feel guilty for not doing “family things” (by my grandma not my mum)

in hindsight I wish we had been allowed to make those memories together rather than being expected to do what others wanted