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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Boxing Day is for family and not football?

348 replies

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:38

So sick of it! Every year, DH and DS want to go to DH’s hometown to watch the Boxing Day game. Plans have to be worked around this and given it’s an 8 hour round trip, it’s pretty much an overnight stay. If we’re with the in-laws for Christmas, fine, crack on. But when we’re in our home town and have other family to see, really?! It also means an early night Christmas Day as they want to be up and out to get to the game on Boxing Day the next morning 😭

OP posts:
Sleepygrumpyandnothappy · 17/12/2023 20:02

I for one like to see the return of a proper traditional AIBU where everyone tells the OP she’s in the wrong and she roundly refuses to accept it.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 17/12/2023 20:06

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:42

@TinselTitts - exactly! That’s what I want. It was never an issue when the DC were younger as he just didn’t go. Now one DS is old enough to do the journey, they head off and I’m left with the other two. We can still have a nice day but I just want a family day with us all lounging around in PJs and eating chocolates!

Why can't you do that with the two DC left with you? I think it sounds like a nice father/son tradition.

HappyCamperTent · 17/12/2023 20:08

ianshe · 17/12/2023 19:51

It's a lovely tradition.

You want them to stay at home instead of doing something once a year that brings them joy just to keep you company while eating chocolates in your pjs ?

I fucking hate football and thankfully so does dh…. But I agree with this!

fingerguns · 17/12/2023 20:09

Eight hour round trip is a bit much, but Boxing Day football is fairly traditional for many families.

We play football every year at 11am with lots of other families, then go home for lunch. That said, it's a 5 minute walk there and a 10 minute hobble back.

theresnolimits · 17/12/2023 20:10

My dad used to take me and my brother every Boxing Day where we’d meet up with my uncle and cousins. It’s a childhood memory that I look back on with enormous affection. There’s just something about the cold air and the crowd after the overeating and overheating of Xmas Day. My mum loved having the house to herself after the Xmas Day madness.

I suggest a compromise of every other year, just as you would with visiting each other’s families. As the younger ones get older and want to go too, you may be delighted!

ClareBlue · 17/12/2023 20:14

So our commute from Ireland to Suffolk, Exeter, Manchester, Sunderland to name but a few, to watch our football team, might not be your idea of fun over the holidays😀
But we separate into watching the match and visiting the local attractions. The son daddy thing is quite important in years to come.

thecatsthecats · 17/12/2023 20:16

Much as I hate football, I am firmly of the opinion that Christmas is a season, with room for plenty of traditions. And Boxing Day football is a big one for some people.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 17/12/2023 20:17

Our family go to the footie - depending on which local team is playing at home on Boxing Day .

AllAroundMyCat · 17/12/2023 20:20

I'm so grateful that my husband hates all sports.

Not helpful I know but I knew very early on , in our relationship, that he wasn't interested in sports, and it immediately endeared me to him.

SocksAndTheCity · 17/12/2023 20:21

YABU. It's a huge football day - I'm going on Boxing Day this year for the first time in ages. I can't figure out any way in which it stops you lying about stuffing your face, nor how it affects family visiting?

Or are you one of those who's unable to answer the door, so you need your DH in to do it?

NorthernGirlie · 17/12/2023 20:23

Dh and ds will be going to the Boxing Day footy.
Full day because they meet other friends / family for drinks before and after

I can't bloody wait. I'm taking suggestions for films to watch and have put my favourite chocolates in code on the shopping list so I can stash them for the event!
A lovely friend tried to spoil my plans by inviting me to theirs because she felt sorry for me being alone on Boxing Day - "Nay" said I!

Housebuyer37 · 17/12/2023 20:23

It's definitely a football day in my family however we live quite near to the ground so those who go don't tend to be out all day. That being said its not every Boxing Day as they only go the home games. Does your DH go away games as well? If not then it's not every Boxing Day.

skippy67 · 17/12/2023 20:24

SumthingAndNuthing · 17/12/2023 19:45

You can still laze around in your pj's stuffing yourself with chocolate. Why does your DH need to be there for that?

Exactly.

Motheranddaughter · 17/12/2023 20:25

We always go to a sporting event on Boxing day
We are not lounging about sort of people
I would let them go and do the lounging about thing without them

piscofrisco · 17/12/2023 20:26

Boxing Day is absolutely for football

rorret · 17/12/2023 20:26

We used to go to a sporting event every Boxing Day when my kids were at home. I miss it, it was great fun.

Cosyblankets · 17/12/2023 20:27

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:50

@beanontoast - I wouldn’t ask them not to go for no reason! But I would like them to be around so other relatives can call in, we can see my family and do family events with them, not have to have Christmas Day with the prospect of an early start on Boxing Day and then probably not setting off home until the 27th as they’ll inevitably decide to stay with PIL for the night.

When you say family do you mean your family?

Merryoldgoat · 17/12/2023 20:27

Tbh as long as I wasn’t expected to go I wouldn’t care.

Crikeyalmighty · 17/12/2023 20:28

But His idea of a fun day may well not remotely be having relatives call in or visiting relatives or lounging round in PJs eating chocolate.

If you want to do that OP fair enough do it with you and your other children

LoveTheDarts · 17/12/2023 20:29

Boxing Day football is the best match day of the year. Yabvu

pinksheetss · 17/12/2023 20:29

YABU

he's not asking you to go and you don't need him home. You can't ask him to stay home and miss this just because you want to lounge about in his presence

beanontoast · 17/12/2023 20:29

Cosyblankets · 17/12/2023 20:27

When you say family do you mean your family?

Show quote history

Yes she does. This thread is rather misleadingly named - husband and son going to football is a ‘family’ outing, husband and son staying at paternal family’s home in the evening is ‘family’ just not the way OP views it apparently…

rorret · 17/12/2023 20:30

Also, this is the first year this has happened?

Benibidibici · 17/12/2023 20:31

Tricky one - boxing day is known for football!

But in our house it meant a family trip to watch the local lower league side play, close to home, not a lengthy round trip away.

iljafjpr · 17/12/2023 20:31

Felicityfennel · 17/12/2023 19:50

@beanontoast - I wouldn’t ask them not to go for no reason! But I would like them to be around so other relatives can call in, we can see my family and do family events with them, not have to have Christmas Day with the prospect of an early start on Boxing Day and then probably not setting off home until the 27th as they’ll inevitably decide to stay with PIL for the night.

So you want to see your family on Boxing Day but you don't want DH and DS staying overnight with PIL on the way back from the footie?
YABVU. Boxing Day footie is a tradition and something they will be looking forward to all year. It's their Christmas treat (I appreciate they also go a few times in the year too) but it's nice to do it at on Boxing Day - different atmosphere.
I loathe football, find it really boring, but can see why others love it and would want to go. It gets them outside on Boxing Day instead of hanging around the house eating more food and waiting for your relatives to show up.

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