Husband brought heavy cold home a week before Christmas

[Tapasita]

He’s now in bed, coughing, sneezing, grumbling because he hasn’t slept. And I’m now thinking great, this is just the beginning; next it’ll move onto the kids and then it’ll take me down just in time for Christmas. Same happened last year. He brought the flu home, spent the week in bed really poorly and then we were all fucked for Christmas.

I know I’m being unreasonable, because anyone can get ill, especially in winter. But what pisses me off is I think he’s picked it up from an evening football match which I advised him not to go to (as it would be freezing and he’d bring a heavy cold/flu) home. Ditto last year. Yes, he may have caught it elsewhere but it just seems every time he goes to night games near Christmas he brings a bug home, which he then shares generously with all of us. It’s selfish!!! But who cares anyway, as long as he gets to go
to his games that’s what matters. 😡😡😡

Also, I don’t have time to be ill. But I’m more worried about the kids now getting it - I really wanted us to have a nice virus-free Christmas this year after the hellish experience last year and now it looks like it’s on repeat. I am seriously pissed off. He wants tea, and sympathy and to be quite honest, I’m really stressed now - I’ve got
the kids to look after and I don’t need this

I was once hospitalised with quinsy just before Christmas, on two IV drip one to hydrate me and the other was anti-biotics, came out of hospital and then like a fool tried to catch up with Chistmas stuff and then went down with flu, literally, I collapsed in the shopping centre! Christmas didn't happen and what I learnt from this was that it didn't matter. We did have a nice meal and presents when I was feeling better about a week later and all was fine.

It’s just bad luck. You can’t not do things because you might get a cold…

If this was my husband I’d be checking in on him to see how he’s feeling etc. rather than ranting about him being selfish on mumsnet.

Yes it’s annoying but no one goes out and deliberately catches a virus.
In our family generally every Christmas at least 1 person if not more come down with some kind of flu or virus. We’ve all changed our mindset now to expect that this may happen given the time of year, the weather, the increase in contact with others, flu season and generally feeling tired and run down. This makes it easier to cope with as we plan that it may happen. I have bought Christmas food in case we cannot got to family etc. Tone down any social events, put less pressure on selves to be perfect and just try to go with the flow.
Plus when you’re ill you need to stop being a martyr and rest.

Why on earth would a grown man with a cold need "nursing"? If he's being pathetic and expecting you to wait on him hand and foot then I can understand you being irritated. But its not fair to get angry with him for becoming ill in the first place, that's not his fault.

You cannot say for sure he picked up his illness from the football, bugs are everywhere this time of year and you have no idea how long he's been incubating this cold. Unless your whole family quarantines for 2 weeks before Christmas you can't avoid the possibility of illness and thats a ridiculous way to live.

I think public transport is the worst for being exposed to stuff this time of year. Trams where I live and they are rammed with people face to face, coughing and sneezing and of course no ventilation except when the doors open at the stops.

Well I've dodged illness by staying out of the bedroom, keeping bleach and cleaning door handles, light switches, bathroom, daily. Just a quick wipe. Wash your hands when handling his crockery. Just supply on a tray, food and drink and stay away

My friend swears by echinacea. So take that

Just laugh at yourself on this one — you’re probably just super stressed and feeling the need to control him. We’ve all been there. You could always ask Santa for a Strutter Bubble. Have a nice Christmas and remember, you can control how happy everyone is. Keep it light. Have a laugh.

YANBU

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired at Christmas.

Given what happened last year and your reminder, he could have swerved the night football game.

Thai bug could have been picked up from anywhere. This is probably more about the disparity in the division of labour, made worse when one person opts out completely.

If your OH takes to his bed expecting you to take care of him, you should too. If you are unwell, rest. Hope you dodge it. 💐

A colleague came in with a hacking cough and terrible cold. It spread throughout the team. I'm on week three of feeling like shite. We can WFH.

I take echinacea, I use the Cold Defence spray up my nose every time I go out and before bed, and I wash my hands when I come in from outside and before eating. Then I live a normal life, around students a lot and with two teens of my own. You can't live a limited life on this basis, but you can observe hygiene if it matters to you, I'd also encourage him to stay in bed and definitely no sneezing/coughing without tissues. I've had one cold this year, which seems below average according to my friends, but of course no one is immune and my kids are sick all the time!

@Tapasita I understand where you are coming from. My ex MIL was a secondary school teacher, and every time we visited her during the winter months, exactly a week later I'd come down with a cold...which would then become a chest infection/pneumonia and I'd be left with cough that would take literally months to get rid of. My immune system was already bad as I'd had cancer/chemo during that time. Rationally I knew it wasn't her fault but I'd get pissed off anyway. My ex husband used to call her Typhoid Mary!

I've now gone years and years without getting a cold during the winter months.

It's all very well saying 'don't nurse your husband/children' but who else is going to do it?

I do get a bit shitty with my husband because he always brings the illness into the house. He was the one to bring covid in 3 times, and always bringing colds etc. I get annoyed because he coughs/sneezes without using a tissue or covering his face, he hardly ever washes his hands and he doesn’t help disinfect anything in the house to mitigate spread - it’s so disgusting!

I work in a school, and now it is time for the nasty Norovirus to rear its ugly head. Sick all over the floor, highly contagious.

Ugh. Don't get me started on the number of parents in our school who have been sending their children in after being sick and not mentioning it ... their children do! And the number recently who send their children in knowingly with high fevers, full of calpol and ibuprofin trying to hide said fevers, potentially ruining the holidays for everyone else in school just because they don't want to stay home with their sick children.

We send them home immediately upon such news and their parents grump at us.

You can catch a cold anywhere, it’s unfortunate but unavoidable.

You don't have to catch it.

Isolate him the bedroom. Open windows for fresh air. Make him wear a mask. Dettol all dooor handles and touch points. Increase your and the kids nutrition. Use the "first defence" nose spray. Take the kids out for the weekend days. Tell them to stay away from him. Lots of positive action you can take to minimise the impact of 1 persons cold.

This is mad, batshit crazy.

I do none of those things, and I haven't had a cold for at least five years.

@BarbaraWoodlouse1

Thank you. You’ve made me feel better

@Tapasita just wants to get through xmas

Paulapocket, Let blinkityblonk know your address and I'm sure she'll send you a medal.

Op, do not martyr yourself and soldier on if you catch it. Make sure you take the rest you need.

@PaulaPocket I teach students at uni, and every year, everyone gets freshers flu, all the students mingling from around the world! Flying in, great opportunity to spread viruses. Both my teens go to uni and college too. We are exposed to more viruses than most!

The average number of colds per year, I've just googled and it's 2-3 a year for adults, and 5-8 for children, poor them! Plus flu perhaps every few years? Covid once or twice a year. That seems a lot to me.

Poor man.

You don’t get a cold from going out on a chilly night.

These things happen. He probably picked it up at work.

That’s not great.

What works for me immunity wise is:-

• change pillow cases every night
• echinacea and vit c and zinc preferable fizzy latter
• clean diet lots of fruit and veg
• porridge with blackcurrants (latter good source vit c)
• ensure DH throws away tissues eg in carrier bag after use.
• throat sweet if necessary nightly seems to help
• foot baths with Colman’s hot mustard piwded
• up onions/garlic and spicy food

Hope you don’t all get it.

lifecycle of cold roughly 7 days anything worse it’s more.

oh I forgot:-

up liquids, soup, hot Ribena and chicken soup

twinings do a defence tea which I’m sure helps!

This is so ridiculous it's annoying. How can anyone be so ignorant when we are just coming out of a pandemic?

You DON'T catch a cold or any other virus from being outdoors. You catch it by physical contact with the virus, either airborne or by touch. This is much more likely to happen indoors or in other enclosed spaces like public transport.

You may or may not catch the same cold. If you do and you or the kids have left the house in the last week you will have no sure way of knowing whether you caught it from him or anyone else.