Husband brought heavy cold home a week before Christmas

[Tapasita]

He’s now in bed, coughing, sneezing, grumbling because he hasn’t slept. And I’m now thinking great, this is just the beginning; next it’ll move onto the kids and then it’ll take me down just in time for Christmas. Same happened last year. He brought the flu home, spent the week in bed really poorly and then we were all fucked for Christmas.

I know I’m being unreasonable, because anyone can get ill, especially in winter. But what pisses me off is I think he’s picked it up from an evening football match which I advised him not to go to (as it would be freezing and he’d bring a heavy cold/flu) home. Ditto last year. Yes, he may have caught it elsewhere but it just seems every time he goes to night games near Christmas he brings a bug home, which he then shares generously with all of us. It’s selfish!!! But who cares anyway, as long as he gets to go
to his games that’s what matters. 😡😡😡

Also, I don’t have time to be ill. But I’m more worried about the kids now getting it - I really wanted us to have a nice virus-free Christmas this year after the hellish experience last year and now it looks like it’s on repeat. I am seriously pissed off. He wants tea, and sympathy and to be quite honest, I’m really stressed now - I’ve got
the kids to look after and I don’t need this

Fact is OP is now stuck entertaining kids, feeding them all, bedtimes, sorting out Xmas prep... all the while with a miserable coughing sneezing husband in bed.
I can see why she is annoyed.

You know you don't actually get a cold from being out in the cold right? And it's just as likely dc would bring a cold home from school/nursery?

Still no reason to be annoyed. Frustrated, yes. But it's still not his fault that he's ill. And if she doesn't want him to spread it, then him being in bed away from everyone else is surely a good thing.

This everyone berating op for saying cold temperatures don’t impact your chance of catching a cold or seasonal bug. 🙄🙄🙄

Yes your DH is a selfish git. Quarantine him and don’t give him any sympathy.

From BUPA

“Your body’s defences may weaken when it’s coldYour immune system protects you from disease. Some early studies have suggested that the cold and dry conditions of winter could make it harder for your immune system to fight off viruses.
Your nose and airways are lined with mucus and tiny, hair-like structures called cilia. They act as a barrier by trapping viruses that you breathe in and moving them out of your airways. Your mucus also contains antimicrobial substances that help to protect you from disease. But breathing in cold, dry air during the winter months can affect the mucus and cilia lining your nose and throat, making them less efficient.
So, if you do come into contact with a virus during the winter months, your body’s defence mechanisms may not be as good at fighting it off if you’re cold. This is especially true as we grow older because our immune systems become weaker with age.”

This everyone berating op for saying cold temperatures don’t impact your chance of catching a cold or seasonal bug.

A lowered immune system doesn’t cause you catch a cold. Proximity to someone else with a cold does. Being cold doesn’t help but it doesn’t cause it.

Poor husband.

You sound aweful.

So none of us should go for a brisk country walk in winter then. Those of us without a car shouldn't walk to the shops when it's cold. Or walk the kids to school. Or let our teenagers walk to school. We should just shut ourselves in the house with no fresh air, so the viruses stay inside and multiply.

Cold weather doesn't cause you to get ill. It doesn't cause a cold. It might affect your immune system slightly, but going to a football match did not in itself cause him to catch a cold.

OP would not be blaming him if he'd gone for a walk for a couple of hours.

I was ill last Christmas Day. It’s just a different Christmas Day. Paint on a smile to make it nice for the kids, and give him the finger behind his back to make you feel better 🤣

@Middleagedmeangirls

Love your username. You’re living up to it I see. Thanks for your lovely post. Always nice to be called ignorant when you’re struggling. I thought he may have caught it from football because he’s in physical contact with others, hugging his friends, etc.

Do keep your username BTW. It becomes you.

See that is something to definitely be pissed off about. People deliberately spreading 🤬

OP half the posters are mra trolls, don't give them headspace. You are venting and that's ok. And don't let him stay in bed if you are also ill.

@BringMeTea

Thanks for letting me know about the trolls! It does seem people are seriously antagonistic here! Of course I love him and I’m just venting. What’s an MRA troll though??

Wow have some compassion!!! EVERYONE is ill at the moment it seems.

Menz rights activists. Allowed to run amok on here. So don't pay 'em any attention...

@BringMeTea

Oh I didn’t realise - that makes more sense. Of course I know m being unreasonable because I’m tired and run down but some of the posts on here seem unnecessarily vitriolic

DH had an awful cold last week - our teens had it milder and now it'm my turn.

We've got visitors - I didn't get much input in when they came was more told though cold only blow up night before they arrived anyway and now they are all moaning at me they don't want my cold which I get but make me feel worse. They are all traveling back on public transport as well and out socialising as well exposing them to infection but if they get sick I will be moaned at.

The are also complaining I smell of vick and olbas oil - I have asthma so my breathing a bit heavy as well- so I'm staying away from them a bit which is also wrong - I can't fucking win and I feel awful.

I get the frustration - but as someone felling bloody awful I have more sympathy with your DH at minute.

BringMeTea · Today 12:28
**
Menz rights activists. Allowed to run amok on here. So don't pay 'em any attention”

Are you serious? You’d expect your partner to be angry with you and blame you for picking up a cold? Bizarre.

I understand your frustration - I had an awful Christmas last year with everyone unwell and I’m dreading the thought of it repeating itself. But you know it’s pretty much unavoidable unless you all quarantine yourselves for December!
You know it really isn’t his fault.
There isn’t much that can be done, if your children are school age then they’re exposed to plenty and husband or you could just as easily catch a cold from a friend, family member or the supermarket etc.
Sometimes I think we take on far too much pressure for this one day, we can’t control everything.

Lol

I teach and the dc both go a different school to me . Escaped so far, but bound to get it next week. Dh never catches my diseases and vice versa, so you might be alright.

That BUPA thing is interesting I have asthma/rhinitis from our dogs, cat etc. my nose is always running. I don't get colds, norovirus etc. whereas husband does.

My friends came round this morning wouldn't come in because wife had been staying with sick grandchildren who had generously shared their cold. She came home poleaxed on Saturday. Her husband uses some nasal spray from Tesco didn't catch it.

If he was out last night I don't think that's when and how he got the cold, viruses are usually in your system for a couple of days before you start showing symptoms. Kids won't give remember or give a shit about dad having a cold and "spoiling the day", they will likely remember mum huffing and puffing in a mood with a sour face though

This place never ceases to amaze me.

I've attended three nativities this week. Reception everyone healthy.

Then years 1/2 everyone coughing, sneezing,

year 4/5/6 not a sniffle.

My son in Bermuda said as soon as air-conditioning was used in office etc everyone got sick

My son on ships rotation one person brought chicken pox aboard. Due to the Aircon many crew caught it

Any one of you could catch absolutely anything from school, the supermarket, work, just going about your daily lives. I understand it’s frustrating right at Christmas - we all had Covid last year over Christmas but although DH was the first to have it, I don’t know where he got it. Could have been work, or Tesco, or his Christmas lunch out with work or the school Carol service…