Husband brought heavy cold home a week before Christmas

[Tapasita]

He’s now in bed, coughing, sneezing, grumbling because he hasn’t slept. And I’m now thinking great, this is just the beginning; next it’ll move onto the kids and then it’ll take me down just in time for Christmas. Same happened last year. He brought the flu home, spent the week in bed really poorly and then we were all fucked for Christmas.

I know I’m being unreasonable, because anyone can get ill, especially in winter. But what pisses me off is I think he’s picked it up from an evening football match which I advised him not to go to (as it would be freezing and he’d bring a heavy cold/flu) home. Ditto last year. Yes, he may have caught it elsewhere but it just seems every time he goes to night games near Christmas he brings a bug home, which he then shares generously with all of us. It’s selfish!!! But who cares anyway, as long as he gets to go
to his games that’s what matters. 😡😡😡

Also, I don’t have time to be ill. But I’m more worried about the kids now getting it - I really wanted us to have a nice virus-free Christmas this year after the hellish experience last year and now it looks like it’s on repeat. I am seriously pissed off. He wants tea, and sympathy and to be quite honest, I’m really stressed now - I’ve got
the kids to look after and I don’t need this

You’re being utterly ridiculous. You know you could never leave the house and still get a cold? Get some perspective in your boring life.

YABVU

Im sure he didn’t mean to bring a Cold home.

Telling him not to go to a football match because he might get ill is beyond bonkers, and controlling

What you are really cross about is that he didn't behave as you wanted. You 'advised' him not to go to football. He went against you and now you are blaming that for something that he could have picked up anywhere.

Do you try to control him in other ways? Your contempt for him is dripping out of your post. If you don't sort that out, you will find yourself with much bigger concerns.

My DP travels a lot with work and came home from a trip abroad with a virus. Three weeks on and he has (unheard of) cancelled football trips because he is still so poorly. We’ve been in separate bedrooms the entire time (plus the previous fortnight he was away) and I seriously wonder if we will ever share a bed again. I’m fed up now, especially as the GP says it’s viral, but glad he can work from home and hoping he is better soon.

In his case it’s a lot of travel/flights, but also a lot of football. Just one of those things and bad luck.

Wow. Have a word with yourself.

YABVU

I have it too. I caught it at the theatre, from another chaperone. Does that make it a better class of cold than one caught at a football match?

My boss had warned me not to overdo it, burning the candle at both ends, wearing myself out by working and helping at the theatre, but even she has been more sympathetic than you and sent me home to bed.

If his is the same as I have, he certainly wouldn’t have chosen this. I have been ill a week and don’t feel much better than a week ago.

Covid isolations have affected everyone’s immune systems. My husband even commented on how bad I was and that I don’t make a fuss about being ill. I hoped he wouldn’t catch it as he is a total baby and then I don’t get time to recover myself, he has a cold, and has been fussing, but he doesn’t have it to the degree I do. Find some sympathy (plus lemsips and/or cold and flu tablets)

Newsflash. Colds are caused by viruses. And easily spread to other people. And they can lower your resistance, making you more vulnerable to picking up other viruses too.

Op knows that SIBU she says so in the opening post!

Pretty annoying that this has now happened two years in row.

I'd be keeping me & the kids away from him as much as possible.

Hopefully a couple of days rest & he'll be over it.

With all due respect OP...get a grip.

You sound ridiculous. What do you want, for your DH to stay in the house for the entire December to avoid getting ill? He could have easily picked the cold up from work, from the shops, from visiting family...anywhere! But of course, it has to be the football match, right?

It sounds like you have a big issue with him attending football matches, which without knowing the background of this, could be a reasonable issue for you to have, or not. But either way, that is an entirely different issue.

Get some cold and flu medicine stocked in and hope for the best. It doesn't need to ruin your Christmas and your partner certainly doesn't need to be made to feel guilty about something he didn't do on purpose.

My in-laws had beans on toast one Christmas because they all were too ill to cook anything more complex.

Anyone can get a cold from anywhere at this time of year. It's rife! We can't all lock ourselves away

My family must have the immune system of a herd of Rhinos because my kids are never ill- I can’t even remember the last time they got a cold. If someone is so sensitive that being out in public guarantees illness they need to see their GP.

You are a unreasonable to be annoyed but if you're that bothered about you and the kids getting it for xmas then go into covid isolation mode and get him to stay in the bedroom alone for a few days.

Jesus Christ. You sound so nasty.

And massively unreasonable.

Start taking Vicks First Defence - it works really well and has stopped me getting colds.

I think it’s more about him having a hobby than being ill. That’s plain as day OP

Op knows that SIBU she says so in the opening post!

Yes but she follows it up with a "but" and more ranting and blame.

I get being annoyed - DS brought covid home one Christmas which meant we had to miss a christening but it wasn't his fault at all (despite going to football and out clubbing!) Thankfully no one else was ill. You can't help picking up viruses if you leave the house. It has nothing to do with football etc.

What’s your real problem with your husband OP?

Yep!!!

Just leave him in a room with a bit of ventilation, keep your distance and wash your hands. I was in a houseful of folk with cold last year and didn't get it.

As everyone else has said watching football outside is not remotely risky virus wise. He probably got it from one of the kids.

Unfortunately life happens, you can't blame anyone. I've been ill/feeling rough since Oct half term with one thing and another. Currently got the most serious one of the lot and hoping it sods off. Lost last Christmas to the cold from hell too and literally slept through most of Christmas including the day itself with no dinner or anything. It happens.

You are less likely to catch a virus out in fresh air than inside. He more than likely caught it from work or the dc have brought it home, they just aren’t showing any symptoms.

I get it, it sucks, but you honestly can not blame home for being unwell.

Blimey, you sound like the wife from hell. Does he get this angry with you if you are ill….?

People can’t stop living their lives just because they might catch a cold (barring obviously those who have seriously compromised immune systems).

Do you have a garden shed? Stick him in there!