Husband brought heavy cold home a week before Christmas

[Tapasita]

He’s now in bed, coughing, sneezing, grumbling because he hasn’t slept. And I’m now thinking great, this is just the beginning; next it’ll move onto the kids and then it’ll take me down just in time for Christmas. Same happened last year. He brought the flu home, spent the week in bed really poorly and then we were all fucked for Christmas.

I know I’m being unreasonable, because anyone can get ill, especially in winter. But what pisses me off is I think he’s picked it up from an evening football match which I advised him not to go to (as it would be freezing and he’d bring a heavy cold/flu) home. Ditto last year. Yes, he may have caught it elsewhere but it just seems every time he goes to night games near Christmas he brings a bug home, which he then shares generously with all of us. It’s selfish!!! But who cares anyway, as long as he gets to go
to his games that’s what matters. 😡😡😡

Also, I don’t have time to be ill. But I’m more worried about the kids now getting it - I really wanted us to have a nice virus-free Christmas this year after the hellish experience last year and now it looks like it’s on repeat. I am seriously pissed off. He wants tea, and sympathy and to be quite honest, I’m really stressed now - I’ve got
the kids to look after and I don’t need this

Thus exactly. It’s a cold, don’t make such a big issue of it.

Yip I'm always sick at Christmas. This year I've excelled myself.

Heavy cold - if it's this virus going round, then he will need sympathy. It's incredibly nasty

Don't blame him though OP, we are all entitled to a life and any of you could've caught a cold. Dose up on vitamins, get him to stay away and you may not get it

I’m going to go against the grain and send you a truckload of sympathy. You knowYABU but I can completely relate. My dh is upstairs in the bedroom and because it’s covid he’s willing to stay there. Anything else and he’d be coughing and sneezing all over the house and we’d all be down with it. I think that’s the part that annoys me. I make reasonable efforts to keep my germs to myself but if he catches something it’s more than likely we’re all getting a share.

There’s a good chance though that your dc will be ok, especially if there already at school or nursery a while because their immune systems are well tuned up. Just try and get the key things done for Christmas - catch up the laundry, lay in a couple of microwave meals in case you go down.

Unfortunately family Christmas is far more likely to be a festive game of pass the plague than the hallmark version. Fingers crossed it passes you by, and he’s back on his feet in time to make himself useful.

Well said.

Op you're being ridiculous.

🤣

You sound abusive and controlling.

He cannot help getting poorly.
I’m sure he’s not over the moon that he’s got this illness either.

You cannot punish him for going somewhere that you didn’t want him to go.
He most likely didn’t catch it there anyway.

I hope if you ever get ill he doesn’t get annoyed with you and blame you saying that it’s your fault and it could have been avoided, because it couldn’t have been.

I have a nasty virus at the moment. Weekend plans have been cancelled, last weekend’s were too. DH has not complained or moaned once. He hasn’t picked it up either, so not inevitable. Oh, and coughs, colds and flu are not picked up from being cold.

Well, I’d hate to be at your house over Christmas, but that’s to do with your attitude and not your husband.

You sound horribly controlling and frankly insane. I'd LTB- if I was your husband. 👋

It's winter, when viruses proliferate and people are indoors more, where the virus is contained and they're closer to each other.

Being ill at Christmas is par for the course. It's maddening, but no-one's fault. Being outdoors at a football match is the least likely place he'd have caught it.

He could just as easily have caught the virus at work or the shops or anywhere. YABU!

You’re being unreasonable. He can’t catch a cold simply from being outside at the football. Plus is it reasonable to say he can’t do anything in mid December incase he gets sick? Christmas is 1 day and people will catch the same winter bugs, it’s just life. Don’t give him a hard time for catching a bug, he may have caught it at work - should be avoid work too!

There is no point in blaming him, unless you expect him to stay inside for 2 weeks leading up to Christmas. You can get a cold going down to the corner shop. You don't know that he got it from the football match.

I'm staggered by the lack of empathy & compassion in this post and also the blame shown - which frankly is ridiculous as colds are impossible to avoid unless you live in a people free bubble.

I feel sorry for your husband especially if he ever contracts anything more serious than a cold.

Maybe after Christmas, it's time to look at marriage counselling? It doesn't sound as if there is much love left for your partner.

This is why mumsnet gets a bad name.

Ahh, what a lovely festive pile on 🐍 🐍 🐍

OP is obviously upset about yet another Christmas battling germs, and by the sounds of it her husband is really milking his cold.

YABU to feel like it’s your husband’s fault OP, but you know that deep down, I’m sure. YANBU to be upset about another Christmas spent coughing and sneezing, and about the fact that your husband has conveniently taken himself to bed instead of helping with the Christmas load for another year running. I really hope that you and the kids avoid the germs and have a lovely Christmas 💐

You can't get a cold being outdoors and being wet. Do you think he should have placed himself in isolation?

Would you react like this if your child came home with a cold?

What if you caught a virus? Would you beat yourself up and tell yourself you’d ruined Christmas?

Youre being silly.

It sometimes feels like kids do this 🤣 at the worst times

What's that to do with OP's problem?

OP, don't be ridiculous, he didn't set out to get a virus and let it share your festivities.

It's this time of the year, viruses, gatherings though quite frankly a football gam wouldn't he high on list of places where you can catch a virus.

Sounds like she doesn't like her husband. My cousin was like that. One time he told her he felt groggy after a wasp sting and she rang me up and said 'He's pretending to be ill'. She was always finding fault with him. A nice bloke as it goes. Anyway he felt worse and in spite of her angry 'you're not ill', went to A&E where they said he had a nasty infection and kept him in all weekend with IV antibiotics. Guess what? They aren't together any more.

Some people have the cold virus but show no symptoms, maybe you've caught it and passed it to DH?

This. 100%