To still feel slightly bitter about this? (Inheriting social housing)

[Buddybud]

I grew up in a two bed council house with my mother (single parent) and my sister in what could now be considered a highly gentrified area within walking distance of the city centre. My mother benefited from a life time tenancy. I left at eighteen to go to university, and my mother didn’t keep a place or bed for me. If I went back during the holidays i would have to sleep on the sofa which I found quite annoying especially when so many of my friends at Uni still had rooms in their parent’s houses. Fast forward a couple of years and I graduated, moved away, met my DH and we now have our own home but have been struggling with our mortgage due to cost of living, etc. My mother on the other hand remarried and moved in with her DH whilst putting my sister on the council house tenancy so my sister now has a life time tenancy with subsidised rent in an area I could never afford. Aibu to feel like that’s abit shitty?

You’re giving me your time still though.

Oh goody another SH bashing thread. We haven't had one of these for at least 3 days.

Why do you care about your sister's acknowledgement? It's an odd thing to go NC for but it's your life. It's obviously bothering you enough to post on MN.

It sounds like you've got yourself into a bit of a mess, perhaps you've verbally lashed out about this issue and now you feel too proud to mend bridges. It seems like you want your sister to approach you out of the blue and tell you it was unfair but it's unlikely that she will if you last spoke to her in an unreasonable way.

If you want to have your sister in your life again, then you need to move past this issue. If you don't care about having her in your life then you should just let it go and enjoy your life. Nothing will be gained by holding onto this.

Nooo. She approached me last year and I ignored her. You’re right though, fuck ‘em all.

Presumably it was her home. So to make her homeless and effectively make her leave an area she could never afford would be cruel.
Though you will always have an asset something that's yours to rent out sell borrow against and do what you wish with. Wheres she's stuck and beholden to the council
It's not healthy to compare apples and pairs.
It will est you up.

Because social housing tenants are a "safe prejudice"

Yeah cos everyone who this has happened to forgets to mention they were made homeless by being kicked out

If the OP was as obnoxious in her mother's home as she is on this thread I am not at all surprised that she was kicked out, and I bet her sister thanks her good fortune that she is NC.

Was she kicked out? I didn't get that from the posts I read though there may be something more recent that I have not yet seen.

I thought the op no longer had her own bedroom at mother's house and when she came home from uni, had to sleep in the dining room. That's not the same as being kicked out.

She has mentioned being kicked out more than once .

YY @Honeychickpea the little passive aggressive smileys/emojis say it all too

I’m one of three sisters, the eldest. Our middle sister is like the OP and very jealous of the youngest sister who has the social housing.
The thing is I went to uni, had fun, met someone and I have a good life. What do I have to be jealous of? I’m more academically capable, I have a better job, a good marriage, solid mental and physical health… I mean, good luck to my youngest sister! I wish her well and social housing as tipped the scales back a little for her to also have a good life.
However my middle sister just can’t get over the unfairness. She also went to uni, has more earning potential and has done fine afforded her own place. She has her health.
Our youngest sister for various reasons would struggle to be so independent and I’m thankful I was able to be so. I’d not swap places for bloody subsidised rent!

Why were you kicked out?

You moved back home - why didn't they give you the dining room back? What was the reasoning?

As much as I understand your perspective, and the treatment by your mother to you seems unfair. The tenancy is a separate issue.

Would you prefer that your mother never allowed the tenancy to pass to either of you? So when she no longer lived there, that neither of you could have it? As it was, it couldn't have passed to you as you didn't live there (the circumstances of why are a separate issue), so your sister was the only option.

I get it, I really do, but I don't think that is the answer either and deep down surely you'd rather it went to your sister?

She has the right to have the tenancy assigned as she is resident there and is a close relative ( as names on the allowed list). If the op had not left and was still living there then the assignment could have gone to her.

Are you this venomous in real life? Must be hard being you.

They wanted a dining room.

I'm sorry you were treated like that.

You’re right. It’s so complicated I’ve had difficulty previously separating it in my head but I see now it is separate. Yeah, I’d always want her to have it given the circumstances. It just would have been nice to get some acknowledgement that I’ve been treated in a shitty way but I will not get that. It’s rubbish but it’s not going to change. I was abused by my mother’s partner, but my sister fortunately wasn’t due to the age gap. I sometimes feel a little resentful that she had a better childhood but that doesn’t mean I wish she was also abused.

Had to laugh at this because I’d you knew me in real like you would know I am the least likely person to go round bashing SH. I eas against right to buy, and selling off all the council houses. Worst decision imo.

@Princessbananahamock but the mum.moved out into her new bf house and the sister took over the tenancy and moved in her own bf. It's only in your mind they all live there. The whole point is the mum passed the tenancy on and moved out!

Why do people assume that because you live in a council house you are dirt poor?

I don't. But I also don't move in the sort of circles where parents ca afford to gift house deposits to their kids.

I'd be pissed off to OP

House, an asset, is owned by a parent then the parent leaves the property equally to both children and both children get an equal "benefit".

House is social housing - an "asset" in this day and age - and the parent "bequeaths" it to only one child, then only one child gets an"benefit".

Funnel that energy into finding ways to pay your mortgage. Do you have a spare bedroom or a an extra room downstairs? Get a lodger.

It's not fair, but what outcome do you want - your sister getting evicted? She probably won't be. You getting the council house and never owning an asset that will probably appreciate and make you money? Just deal with what's on your own plate. Go low/no contact with your family if they stress you out too much.