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Original poster

To be sad my Nan can’t do Xmas dinner this year?

229 replies

Poinseis95 · 15/12/2023 11:56

I’m 29 and my Nan is 84 and this year she has said she can’t do Christmas dinner anymore as she doesn’t have the energy to do a huge dinner for the whole family because she’s too old. Obviously, I completely understand that and expected it to happen eventually but I feel quite sad that Christmas will never be the same again. This year she and the family are coming to us and Mum is doing the dinner. I really enjoyed going to Nan’s on Christmas Day.

OP posts:
Jumpingthruhoops · 15/12/2023 12:42

Confused as to why you don't still go to her house but you guys cook the dinner? That way, you're still having 'your' Christmas.

It's what we did when Dad got too old...

DixonD · 15/12/2023 12:42

ArsenicInTheAppleTart · 15/12/2023 12:16

Granny is tired, babes.

🤣🤣

I couldn’t believe it when I read it back again and saw you’re 29 OP.

Time to be a grown up now.

PuppyMonkey · 15/12/2023 12:43

I don’t care how much she previously insisted she wanted to cook, someone should have staged an intervention years ago, the poor woman. Grin

EdinGirl · 15/12/2023 12:43

Hahaha everyone woke up and put their miserable hats on today.

People in their 80's are not children. They don't need us to dictate what they can and can't do.
How incredibly patronising!

My grandma's love language was food and it devastated her when she didn't cook anymore.

It was really sad for all of us that the family traditions were changing and it was healthy to acknowledge that.

But, then we made new traditions which is equally special.
Which OP and her family will also.

But, on an anonymous forum, she is ALLOWED to be a bit sad about the end of an era 🙄

schoolallergies · 15/12/2023 12:43

ettieb · 15/12/2023 12:17

My mother and grandparents were all dead by the time i was 24... you don't realise how blessed you are too be able to spend christmas with them at all..

BINGO

CHRIS003 · 15/12/2023 12:45

Times change unfortunately but now it can be your turn to do christmas for her - I am sure she will probably end up ' helping ' your mum anyway !

Sausagedognamedmash · 15/12/2023 12:46

My Nan is 82 and now partially blind. She hosts as she has the biggest house and biggest oven, however me and DM cook. Nan still insists on hanging around the kitchen giving direction but she hasn't cooked Christmas dinner in a good 10+ years. DH is in charge of keeping the kids occupied post presents until lunch time.

You are definitely being unreasonable.

Ploctopus · 15/12/2023 12:46

Ewock · 15/12/2023 12:41

Wow I can't believe you and your family have expected you Nan to cook Xmas Dinner when she is 84! Christ what a selfish family. My grandparents lived 5hrs away, we went to them and we did everything, we never expected them to do a thing. It was our time to look after them.
Awful attitude

Do you live your entire life on the assumption that every single person in the world is either exactly like you and your family, or a selfish arsehole? No wonder you’re in a rage all the time!

Original poster
Poinseis95 · 15/12/2023 12:47

@DixonD I’m 28, was a typo.

@everyone Its completely understandable that she’s stepped down and I’m not annoyed about it I’m just a bit sad that it’s changing.

OP posts:
JustOneMoreBaileys · 15/12/2023 12:47

Making Gran cook Grin

My own grandma had to be crowbarred out of the kitchen at 90 and is now forced - at holly point - to sit drink Babysham while someone else cooks.

Even then you need to watch her, in case she gets up and starts moving pans around etc.

kneesdonthurt · 15/12/2023 12:48

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HappyHamsters · 15/12/2023 12:48

Maybe she liked doing it but the family should have intervened earlier.

OhNaffOffYouWazzock · 15/12/2023 12:50

Laughing my head off at @ArsenicInTheAppleTart 😆

This is one of the reasons we've always mixed things up at Christmas. I wouldn't want anyone, however willing they were, to have the burden of tradition.

milveycrohn · 15/12/2023 12:51

I really think your Nan is marvellous for continuing on so long.
I am a lot younger than that, but already stressing out that I have forgotten something important. (everyone is coming to me, but not really my choice, but this is how it has worked out).
It is true that traditions have to change as circumstances change, and now is the time to start something new.

TheaBrandt · 15/12/2023 12:51

Absolutely cringe at great hulking adult “children” being waited on hand and foot. And no I don’t believe that the elderly host “loves it” either 🙄.

As soon as they have houses and families the next generation need to step in and host. My seventy something parents loll about with champagne whilst us 40 something couples do the work.

AQuantityOfNaughtyCats · 15/12/2023 12:52

I took over cooking the Christmas dinner in my early 20s. Definitely time for the younger generation to step up. Get your apron on OP and let granny sit with a sherry!

TheChristmasElfCanGoNow · 15/12/2023 12:52

If she loves doing it and was up to the job until recently then I'm glad she had the health and the interest in doing it.

In our family we take turns. Last time it was at my mum's, we cooked. This year at MIL, we will cook. It's nice to be able to return the favour for years of Christmases when we were young.

ginasevern · 15/12/2023 12:52

Gracious me, you do sound rather immature for a 29 year old. In most cases it would be the mum and/or DH of the household organising Christmas with Nan sitting back and being waited on. I think you've had good mileage out of your Nan!

RaininSummer · 15/12/2023 12:53

I know what you mean OP. My mum was Mrs Christmas until about 6 years ago. I remember the big family Christmases with massive fondness but times change sadly. I am becoming Mrs Christmas in a way myself now but the family is more split for the day because of logistics

weaselwords · 15/12/2023 12:56

JustOneMoreBaileys · 15/12/2023 12:47

Making Gran cook Grin

My own grandma had to be crowbarred out of the kitchen at 90 and is now forced - at holly point - to sit drink Babysham while someone else cooks.

Even then you need to watch her, in case she gets up and starts moving pans around etc.

I aspire to this level of nan-hood!

TheBirdintheCave · 15/12/2023 12:56

mottytotty · 15/12/2023 12:04

I can't believe you and your family were making your 84 nan cook tbh.

And now your mum is taking over the skivvying.

Do you all pitch in at least?

My granddad would do boxing day lunch for us all until a few years before he died aged 98. Nothing could have stopped him 😂 Boxing day lunch was granddad's thing. It was also insanely delicious. His pork crackling was on another level.

Ploctopus · 15/12/2023 12:56

This thread has some of the most insane replies I’ve ever seen, even for mumsnet. Literally all OP has said is that she’s sad that a beloved tradition is ending and people have decided she’s a lazy, entitled, selfish adult baby who has forced her poor nan to cook against her will without ever lifting a finger to help or showing any gratitude.

INSANE. Those of you being weird and horrible need to take a hard look at yourselves.

Xiaoxiong · 15/12/2023 12:56

I understand OP - it's always been one way and now it's changing, and you love your Nan and she's getting old now so you're wondering how much longer she'll be with you.

I'm going to be your Nana, I like my own food best of all so I took over cooking as soon as I was allowed to and won't be giving up unless I absoutely can't do it any longer!!

Just make sure you spend as much time with her as you can, ask her lots of questions, and cherish her Flowers

BreatheAndFocus · 15/12/2023 12:56

Once your mum had you and any siblings you might have, she should have taken over once you and any siblings were say 7. I feel sorry for your Nan. It’s hard work cooking a Xmas dinner and you all should have stepped up and taken over years ago, then your Nan could have enjoyed playing her part as a Nan, sitting down chatting and relaxing while your parents/you did the cooking.

betterangels · 15/12/2023 12:58

ArsenicInTheAppleTart · 15/12/2023 12:16

Granny is tired, babes.

On point. I thought OP she couldn't join, which would be sad.

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