To be sad my Nan can’t do Xmas dinner this year?

[Poinseis95]

I’m 29 and my Nan is 84 and this year she has said she can’t do Christmas dinner anymore as she doesn’t have the energy to do a huge dinner for the whole family because she’s too old. Obviously, I completely understand that and expected it to happen eventually but I feel quite sad that Christmas will never be the same again. This year she and the family are coming to us and Mum is doing the dinner. I really enjoyed going to Nan’s on Christmas Day.

This. Your family should all be ashamed of themselves. Your poor nan

I think it’s pretty awful you all let her carry on this long, unless she actively wanted to do it every year that is.

It can feel weird when things change, especially if you haven't been through alot of change in your life. My dad died very recently, and I'm dreading Christmas, I bought a new Christmas tree, I was going to host him this year. It is devastating.

I'm in my 30s. I lost my grandparents before i was born, in my teens and the last one in my 20s. This was difficult enough, but the pain of losing my df is like nothing I have experienced before. I don't know how those that lose multiple immediate family members carry on. I have young dcs so I have to push through.

Honestly op, it will be lovely to see your Nan enjoying herself with her feet up, I bet there'll be jokes about certain elements of the meal not being up to her standard. Your Nan said she isn't up to it, so she made the call.
I guess what I am trying to say is life changes, nothing stays the same forever, you will find a new normal, then that will change again. We just have to embrace change the best way we can.

That's great, then. I love cooking and I am good at it, and (so far) I'm in good enough health to cook for my family without being exhausted afterwards, so I plan to carry on making Christmas dinner for a good few years yet. If I hated it, I wouldn't do it, simple as that, and my family wouldn't expect me to do it either. However, it's not as simple as that in many families, as we all know.

The OP seems to have left this thread, wisely I would say, and probably because of all the posts from people accusing her of tying an 84yo who could hardly stand to the stove and forcing her to cook an elaborate meal for 30 people . She hasn't provided enough information for any of us to know whether her Nan cooked Christmas dinner for her extended family for decades, willingly and refusing all offers of help, or whether the family just assumed Nan would always do it and Nan wasn't assertive enough to say no or to get others to help, or whether in fact Nan was the main cook but everybody else pitched in and arrived with peeled sprouts, Christmas pudding, starter, etc etc, and then at the end washed up and tidied up while Nan sat down. Or indeed how many people Nan was cooking for. Bit of a difference between cooking for three and cooking for 20.