To have declined Christmas invitation from MIL

[Onesidedagain]

Every year MIL hosts. The last time we went was 2013. That’s because that was the year that MIL got her dog.

Since then SIL and BIL have also got a dog, MIL has got a second dog.

I am allergic and terrified as well. I can’t stand the smell of dogs either. We’ve offered for them to see us at our house (minus dogs) on Boxing Day- that’s not good enough. We offered to host last year - no, that’s not ‘the tradition’

Now dh is getting hassled with messages telling him to go - that my allergies and phobias shouldn’t be a barrier to his family Christmas!

. "The dogs are irrelevant here"

Are people on this thread being deliberately awkward ?
The dogs are relevant. They are the source of an allergy

. "The dogs are irrelevant here"

Yeah. Right. Totally irrelevant.

God Alive. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

This

This is one of those threads where we need to hear the other side.

If I had a nice dil with allergies/phobias, I’d be trying for a solution. A pita dil, not so much. I’d rather just see my ds. (NB, hypothetical - I will not allow my ds to pick an annoying dw!!!)

. A pita dil, not so much. I’d rather just see my ds.

Really? You know what ' you'd rather' comes lower down the list when your son has his own family.

The other side is that PIL got dogs ten years ago, which meant that their DIL couldn’t visit them. Despite this, they’re not prepared to make any concessions. And it’s counter productive in this case because one of her GC has the same allergy so they won’t see them either unless they’re prepared to compromise. Why assume that the OP is unpleasant because she doesn’t want to make herself ill on Christmas day just to please them ?

I don't have a fear of, or allergy of, dogs but I wouldn't be willing to stay over in a house with multiple dogs 🤢

Its perfectly easy to have a happy dog-free life.

Your MIL is being completely unreasonable.

@MaturingCheeseball
You won’t get a say in who your DS marries.

You might find I was joking, @Flossflower. Although ds does say himself anyone who doesn’t like dogs is an absolute no-no. They don’t have to be dog mad, just dog friendly!

@harriethoyle I have 2 dogs (extremely well trained working dogs) and still find it rude that anyone would expect you to host their animals at Christmas - I certainly wouldn't do it. Doesn't matter if it's a phobia or if OP simply doesn't like them. MIL was told no and needs to accept that or make other plans.

"You are to come to my house even though I know doing so will make you ill, and bring with you a child who will also be made ill by being in my house" really isn't a must-accept invitation, no matter how often it is repeated to pester the recipient into doing as she is told. When the reason for this demand is "because I want you to be part of a Christmas tradition that ceased to exist ten years ago", the whole thing becomes absurd.