AIBU to let my 7 year old walk to his friend's house alone

[welshweasel]

My 7 year old (8 next month) is desperate to be allowed to walk to his friend's house for a pre arranged play date. Friend lives less than 5 minutes walk away. There is one road to cross (20mph speed limit with pedestrian crossing that he knows how to use).

I'm keen to let him to do this but my friend was horrified that I might allow this. Am
I totally out of touch with what is reasonable?

Too young. Just because we did things in the past (like people smoking everywhere, driving without seatbelts etc) and didn't die doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

You must all live in some really rough areas with all these kidnappings, menacing teenagers, aliens etc.

@notahappybunny7

I do read the news, and understand that these incidents are very, very rare. I do not know anyone at all in my life who has been attacked by an aggressive dog, or been kidnapped or been hit by a car.

Of course these things do happen but in this circumstance I would weigh up the risk and benefit, and make a decision that best suits the circumstance and child.

We had a 10yr old child come for a playdate today, they walked themselves there and back. I text her mother when she arrived and left. The route is rural village, mostly pavements, two roads to cross.

So I do read the news, but would still let my sensible child do this walk, with the caveats in place that I mentioned on road safety and talking about what to do if something went wrong. And again, it’s child dependent. My younger head in the clouds and not so sensible child wouldn’t be allowed just yet.

Of course they have to at some point- I didn’t believe that point is 7. As other posters have said the chances of anything happening are slim but not impossible - I don’t see the need for a 7 year old to learn such independence at their age- I don’t need to prove my parenting by allowing such a thing.

By all means have your toddlers go play with traffic and pay rent to instil the realities of being an adult before they become too sensitive.

Yes YABU

Its not done to prove your parenting but for their benefit. Children that have independent mobility (allowed to travel around outside of the home without a parent) are far more likely to get their necessary daily exercise and has many other mental, cognitive, social and physical benefits.

what an apt username.

best of luck to your kid.

Nothing to do with "proving my parenting" and everything to do with (as @Natsku says) knowing that age-appropriate independence does wonders for their mental health and self-esteem.

im sure there’s also a link to young children walking alone and parental neglect

I agree- 7 is not an appropriate age

Luckily the majority of other countries disagree with you.

Why luckily? In the grand scheme of an 80yr old life span is it that bad to walk with your 7 year old?!

What's the traffic like?

Because in my opinion, building independence in young children does wonders for their self-esteem, and allowing them to walk for less than 5 minutes to a friends' house at seven is a great way to start that.

Of course walking with them is fine if you want to, I just think it's ridiculous (and pretty offensive) to pretend that a 7yo crossing a street alone is comparable to child neglect.

If your child is asking to do this and you have assessed the traffic risk as negligible ( note I don't say zero as there is hardly ever absolutely zero risk in any life skills) then absolutely he should be allowed to do this. You may want to do a few practice drums first with you close by or following but he should be allowed to try this.

The majority of responses on ths thread just tell me all I need to know about why we have so many miserable children in this country. So much of a person's happiness and self worth come from trusting your own abilities, . You can't start learning this too early and if a child asks for more independence they are usually ready for it.

Obviously if you live on a busy road, it may be different.

I personally think it's fine, but I wouldn't because you could be reported to social services. It's ridiculous, but there we are.

10 seems to be the agreed age around here.

With all the cuts to local authority budgets I cannot believe anyone could seriously be investigated by social services because their child walks to school age 7

The majority of responses on ths thread just tell me all I need to know about why we have so many miserable children in this country. So much of a person's happiness and self worth come from trusting your own abilities, . You can't start learning this too early and if a child asks for more independence they are usually ready for it.

Well said. I think a lot of people underestimate how much confidence children get from doing things like this.

I have a child this age and I wouldn’t allow this. I know he could 100% be trusted and he’s better at crossing roads than his older brother in Y6 (who is allowed to walk to friends’ houses alone), but I think they’re still quite kidnappable at that age - droll as that sounds. My 7 year old would be no match for an adult, whereas my 10 year old is my height and could probably outrun most people. I base it on that - trust isn’t really the issue for me; vulnerability is!

For all those who think there is no way children can do this at 7 watch this on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81506279 it's a show where children from about 5 have to go do an errand. Eg go to the shop and bring something specific back.

Well nutters certainly might report (plenty of them in this thread) - in the real world it's not the remit of social workers to police children in the street.

I wouldn't. It's not the 80s anymore.

children have their whole lives to be independent- just because i won’t let them walk alone at 7 doesn’t mean I won’t at 10/11 onwards. Independence isn’t just from leaving a child alone- why rush the protective early years- because they are the early years, and children need protecting.

I didn’t call it neglect but whilst people are throwing around stats and our European counterparts to justify this, Im saying I think you would find a correlation between 7 year olds walking alone and neglect in 2023 U.K.

As if Social Services would give a shit

Seriously this thread.

Totally ! I live nearby secondary school, while many do walk (certainly 12 and up) others have parents sitting for 30 minutes waiting for them. 8 year old should be able to walk that distance. Thing is - there is more media access to report every abduction or misinformation about abductions, which leads to scare mongering. Every parent know their child better and most 8 year olds should have awareness of danger if taught at home.