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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to let my 7 year old walk to his friend's house alone

257 replies

welshweasel · 14/12/2023 23:08

My 7 year old (8 next month) is desperate to be allowed to walk to his friend's house for a pre arranged play date. Friend lives less than 5 minutes walk away. There is one road to cross (20mph speed limit with pedestrian crossing that he knows how to use).

I'm keen to let him to do this but my friend was horrified that I might allow this. Am
I totally out of touch with what is reasonable?

OP posts:
whitebreadjamsandwich · 14/12/2023 23:11

I'd practice a few times with you walking a bit behind, a bit further behind, then just getting him across the road and leaving him to it, and finally calling the friends mum to say hes on his way, and then she has to text to say he's arrived. Assuming you live in a relatively small town/village/suburb, and not a hugely busy city centre

Landlubber2019 · 14/12/2023 23:18

No i wouldn't be happy for my kids to be walking alone at that age

Whattodowithit88 · 14/12/2023 23:19

Yes, I think so and wouldn’t do it. Your decision though but even at 8 years old to walk alone down the street and cross a road by themselves is very young!!!

Maybe it’s different where you are?

Cheesewiz · 14/12/2023 23:19

Nope, would never allow it

Agii · 14/12/2023 23:21

Let him! Just walk along a few times. Nearly 8 year old should be able to !

SarcasmAndCoffee · 14/12/2023 23:22

Absolutely not

Pansyblue · 14/12/2023 23:23

This is crazy!

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 14/12/2023 23:23

I wouldn't let my kids at that age. Would probably be okay but it's not worth the risk.

nobrasfot · 14/12/2023 23:26

yeah I'd think that be fine, ovs depends on how mature your 8 year old is and the area you live in, mine would be ok doing this.

whyamiawakestill · 14/12/2023 23:26

I would, seems I'm the only one, he's 8? Out if Interest what does everyone think will happen?

Original poster
welshweasel · 14/12/2023 23:26

For clarity, we live in a rural area, very safe. I guess I remember doing similar at his age and think I should be allowing him to become more independent but maybe not! It's no bother to walk him there myself, but i don't just want to say no without giving the idea due consideration.

OP posts:
Tilllly · 14/12/2023 23:26

No

No matter how good they are with crossings etc, they have no coping strategies if anything happens

What will he do if 2 teenagers get into a fight near him?
Or a stray dog is aggressive?
Or there's a road traffic collision nearby

Etc etc

soundsys · 14/12/2023 23:27

Mumsnet is weird. This is totally normal pretty much everywhere other than England. Unless you live somewhere very dangerous or he has significant additional needs it's absolutely fine!

As a PP said, watch him from your door as far as he can and ask the friend's parent to msg to confirm he's arrived.

AndThatWasNY · 14/12/2023 23:30

Sounds totally fine. Mine walked to school alone at 8. I was out playing all day by then.

Wonderwoman333 · 14/12/2023 23:33

No, this is far too young, this would be irresponsible parenting

Amba1998 · 14/12/2023 23:35

I’m in the horrified camp

Nanny0gg · 14/12/2023 23:36

I wouldn't trust his road crossing skills and you can't guarantee that motorists will stop at a crossing

Nope. Too young

pinklemonata · 14/12/2023 23:37

Sorry OP, but I'm on the Team no way! I have a 7 year old, can you walk a few meters behind?!

ActDottie · 14/12/2023 23:38

No I don’t think I would. If the friend was on the same road then yes but not if a road crossing is involved.

Fionaville · 14/12/2023 23:38

I wouldn't because I'd be scared of a car stopping and grabbing them. But I know this is totally irrational because the chances are so slim. I'm also a hypocrite because I went a lot further than that without a grown up when I was 8. So, I'm basically the worst person to ask. The sensible part of me says yes, let him do it after a few practices with you.

Whyohwhywyoming · 14/12/2023 23:40

I wouldn’t and the reason is that, like most kids in the 80s I did this, also like many kids in the 80s I had a number of weird interactions with adults my mum never knew about, including being flashed more than once. So I’m always a bit dubious about the “oh we used to do this and it was fine!” Was it fine? Really?

samestyle · 14/12/2023 23:43

No I wouldn't chance it, although abductions are rare they always happen to unsupervised kids, you never know who could be lurking. Safety too, just because it is a 20mph road it doesn't mean drivers will stick to the speed limit, can a 7 year old really judge a road well enough.

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 14/12/2023 23:44

I think allowing him to become more independent on things that are easier to control. Like letting him go in the corner shop alone and buy something with you outside. I feel 7 is too young to be crossing roads alone.

Extrasprinklesplz · 14/12/2023 23:45

I think children this age are definitely capable but nowadays having news thrown at us all the time we're a lot more aware of what could go wrong even if they make all the right decisions. Because of that, as capable as children are (probably more than we give them credit for) I wouldn't

TikkaDhal · 14/12/2023 23:47

No, I wouldn’t - only if he was in my sight the whole distance.

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